Surgery's Over

August 28, 2008

She's in recovery and they got the end of the tube out. Now they will allow her to rest and keep her on antibiotics and that hopefully will take care of the infection.

More later much love

Surgery Today

August 28. 2008

They will take Danni around 11 or 11:30 to surgery. Two docs will work on her, one on the shunt and one on the infected incision.

I got a good rest last night and so did Danni so I feel better prepared for the day. God is leading the way and taking care of us at every turn.

I am having trouble with "mother bear" this time around. I find myself being very vocal and very protective. The staff here are very good and very patient with me. We had a situation this morning that was not so good but we got it resolved. The hospital staff was very professional in thier handling of the situation.

We'll trust God today and choose NOT to be afraid or fret and worry.

Emotional Afternoon

August 27, 2008 8:22 pm

We had a mix up today, she was supposed to have a cat scan at 7 pm and around 4 pm they called to our nurse to get her ready for surgery! No one had talked to us and they didn't have the scan to even see what was going on. The doctors talked to one another but apparently forgot to include us in on the conversation. It wasn't even the doctor we thought would do the procedure so that was also very troubling.

Needless to say that made for some anxious moments for Danni and I but the surgeon came up to see Danni at the nurses request. He tried to pressure her a bit to go ahead and have the surgery, he said that it was a 2 minute deal and they wouldn't put her to sleep which further aggravated the situation. Who likes the idea of someone cutting on your body while you're awake!

She didn't have peace so she didn't have it today she will wait until tomorrow morning. The surgery will be to cut into the incision again and pull the end of the drain tube out of her abdomen so that it can drain into a bag on the outside. The idea is to take the water pressure off of it and let her system settle down so they can deal with the infection. She's down having her cat scan now.

Sorry if these are hard to follow, it's hard to concentrate with hospital stuff going on around me. Also, it's very hard for me to concentrate on a normal day let alone with everything else, but I'll do my best.

What an encouragement to me to see the states that are praying, Bless God! He's Awesome!

Praise God He Showed Us the Way...

August 27, 2008

Radiation and Chemotherepy aren't even an option at this point, for some reason God is keeping her from that part of her treatment. That's the good news...kindof...at least we have a definite answer to those questions.

Today when we went to the first doctor he said that we needed to get the incision (belly) taken care of right away and he sent us immediately to a surgeon across town at another hospital. When that doctor saw the incision he called the first doctor and they admitted her at once.

The bad news is that the incision in her belly that is leaking means that the outside germs have made thier way inside and the incision will need to be revised that is in her abdomen. There's more bad news...

The shunt may have to be replaced as well. They are concerned that the infection is in the shunt too. They will reroute the shunt tube out of her abdomen to the outside for time being. I'm not sure when this will take place, probably not today but as soon as possible.

This is quite a blow as we were not expecting this to happen, however, we had left things in God's hands so we will accept what we've been given.

Danni's first words after the first doctor left the room were, "I have to have surgery? Today? Well, we'll just have to trust God." Remarkable. Then she asked me what day it was and she was dissapointed to find out that it wasn't Monday because Monday is macaroni and cheese day at the hospital. She cracks me up!

Anyways, doctor number two sent us back across town to the main hospital and we were admitted after a quick stop for something to eat. (for mom) We didn't know whether or not she should eat or when I would get a chance to eat so that was what we did.

She is currently in a room awaiting an IV, various blood tests and 2 quarts of yucky stuff to drink for a CAT scan. They want to do a thourough check of her belly to make sure that there aren't other things going on, whatever that means. Here we go again, but God is with us, we will NOT be afraid!!!!!

As always, I will update the blog as we have info. Thanks for all the prayers, they are keeping us afloat!!

Praises Along the Way--Miracle Ground

August 25, 2008

This is going to be a big moment week. Wednesday we go to the surgeon to have Danni’s staples removed from where they put the shunt in her head. The incision on her belly is all healed except for a small spot at the top of it where fluid is still coming out. It isn’t infected so I’m grateful for that.

My plans are to ask the surgeon where we are in the scheme of things. If it were his child, would he put her through radiation and chemotherapy? We already know that we aren’t going to kill the cancer so at best we might be able to slow it down. But what are the side effects of yet another medicine (the chemo drug) and radiation.

Even though she’s stronger now and can move about on her own, how will it be for her to ride for 2 hours (hour there and an hour back) for a 10 minute treatment every day for six weeks. How will she do laying on a hard surface with her head strapped down during the treatment? When she had her radiation before she was in a lot better condition physically, now so much has changed.

What does the doctor mean by saying “I just want her to have the best quality of life she can have?” I feel like we need to know some specifics. I wanted Danni to be prepared for the questions that would arise during our visit. She’s an adult and she has some decisions she needs to make. I told her that I wanted to put all the cards on the table, I told her what I was thinking. This was the first time I talked with her about what we face continuing with treatments.

I told her that she needed to be prepared for what the doctor might tell us. I said that the view I have and continue to hold for her is that God will heal her. So no matter what the doctor said I would hold to my convictions but we have to know what the next step may or may not be.

She listened intently to what I had to say. I told her that the doctor may say don’t do anymore, go home and live what time you have left or he may say start treaments right away.

I told her she needed to pray and ask God what he would have her to do. I told her God would answer her in his own time so not to be afraid if she didn’t get an answer immediately. Every step of the way God has taken over and helped us with every decision and I have no regrets. I have peace that God will take care of things and when the time comes he will give us wisdom for the decisions that are before us.

Danni calmly and quietly said, “Whatever God wants to do he will do.” I asked her how she felt about that and she said, “Its okay, I’m not going to worry about it.” So brave, so much at peace.

It wouldn’t do us any good to worry about it. We’re told many times in scripture not to fear and that’s what we will do. Fear and worry are a waste of time and precious energy.

This isn’t me trying or thinking that I always have to be the strong one, I’m not capable, and I am weak! I cry, I feel, I shudder at the things I see, without Jesus as my savior I am lost! I want to speak my faith not live by fear!

The strength of God within me and Danni comes from accepting Christ as our savior, it is no longer I that live but Christ that lives within me AND the answer to a million of your prayers for us every day that causes us to be the way we are!

It’s all about Jesus my savior. He holds everything together. Everything is in him and for him and through him. Look to Jesus, he is the source!

I pray that my children will have more faith and resolve to live this way than I ever did, that they would start at the place I am at in the Spirit and reach and grow from there. That they would take the good God has given me and it would be multiplied in their lives to the extent God has for them. I give my marvelous God all the glory for the things he has done, for how he has strengthened us during this time and brought unending change to our lives.

I’m excited to see what he will do as we are in a position, in need of a miracle and that’ s the fertile soil in which miracles appear. If things don’t work out the way I would like, I will still praise him by the grace and mercy of God.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce on food, though there are no sheep in the pen and on cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign Lord is my strengh; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

Col 3:1-3 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Col 3: 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Luke 21: 34 Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

2 Cor 4:13-18 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Another Day with Danni

August 22, 2008

Danni is pretty chipper today. She's had a busy day a nurse and a nurses aide came by to do their thing. Then she went for a ride uptown with me to do some erronds and now she's watching a movie.

She's taken several walks and a spin around the house in wheely. It's nice to have these quiet uneventful days in between to rest up. I've been trying to catch up on work and some other things and sadly I've discovered facebook.

I can see now I better budget my time wisely! We ordered Danni a laptop. She got a letter from a lady who's daughter went through the same type of events and she sent her some funds to do whatever she wanted to with it. Danni's been wanting a laptop so we got her one. I think she'll enjoy it.

That's all from us for now, thanks again for all the prayers, thoughts and love.

Zooming Walkers and Wheelchairs!

August 20, 2008

Danni's had a string of good days. Her head looks great and is healing wonderfully. The incision on her belly is healing slowly too. (From where the tube from the shunt enters the abdomen)

Yesterday she had a physical therapist and with her new walker and ramp she took a stroll. From one end of the house to the other, out into the garage and down the ramp she went. The therapist asked if she wanted to rest before she took the trip back up the ramp and to her room but she said, "Naw" and away she went.

She made it safely to her room and sat down to rest on her bed. What an improvement from last week and even the week before. I thank God for that.

When her brother got home from school he had to try out the ramp with wheely the wheelchair, too. Danni says that her brother and sister use the chair more than she does, she also told her brother that he better do his thing on the ramp before mom gets home or he'll get into trouble. I had gone out to an appointment and her grandma was here with them.

I no sooner got home and was visiting with Danni and her grandma than Atlee was half way out the door with the chair headed down the ramp....kids! You got it right, he was busted and I put an end to that! I know, I know, what a mean mom! But, you must consider that fact, as I did, that Atlee is all boy! You know what I'm talking about mothers?

Anyways, things are well and everyone is still intact so I guess I saved the world another day! ;}

I read a verse this morning that spoke to the "How does she handle all she's going through?" question people have asked me. Habakkuk 3:19 says The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. How very, very true! He lifts me up and sustains me all glory to HIS Name!

Praises Along the Way--What a Blessed Day!

August 18, 2008

All day the Lord has been sending people to the house to care for our needs. The aide helped Danni clean up and she changed her bed and cleaned her bathroom. The nurse checked her over to make sure she was doing okay. Danni is feeling pretty good and eating more today.

Someone brought other things to help her. The Cancer Services called and said they got a walker in she could use that has a seat if she gets tired on her walks around the kitchen island. She got a card for encouragement in the mail and these were just the obvious things that stuck out today! And the day isn’t over yet! Every need is met above and beyond at the time she needs it!

I love how God thinks of every little thing. He sends those ministering “angels” to help his children in need. It’s so much fun to see God in action. May his blessings rest on all of those who gave of themselves to her today in thought, prayer, word or deeds.

There is NO God like our God!

Nothin' Much to Say

August 17, 2008

Danni is holding her own. It's kindof a lazy day today, not much going on here. It's good to have those days every now and again. Tomorrow we're having a ramp put in the garage so that Danni and I can go if we want to, we'll have to take our new friend "wheely" for ice cream now.

We have a sad task later today, we have to go to a viewing of a young man who was full of life. He was going to go to college in two weeks and now he's in heaven. Please pray for our friends the Beckers this is the second son they have lost in a little over a year. Both deaths were accidents and very unexpected.

A memorial has been set up for him at facebook.com called the Will Becker Memorial by a friend of his from high school. He was a good kid with a bright future. He will be missed.

Stronger Every Day

August 16, 2008

Little by little she gains her strength. She has two different therapists working with her and an aide to help her get cleaned up twice a week. She also has a nurse that looks in on twice a week for now.

Her pneumonia seems better. We don't know about radiation until August 27th when we go back to the doctor to have her staples removed. I'm still not sure where we are with this thing and I'm not sure I need to know. I was encouraged when the doctor offered me home health care for Danni and not hospice which is for the dying.

I would like to thank those of you who continue to pray for us. It is the prayers of all of you that help to sustain us from day to day. God makes us come to your mind and you pray. The power of prayer is incredible and without it I doubt we would be doing so well. Keep it up and keep believing that God hears your prayers because I can testify that he is answering them!

Praises Along the Way--The Swing of Things

August 13, 2008

I'm feeling a bit more at ease about the responsibilities of having Danni home. My friends and family have offered to help out during the day if I need to get away, which is good. God has supplied all that I need to take care of her.

Now, I just need to figure out how to balance the time I have. I have other responsibilities that I have to work around her schedule, which shouldn't be a problem, it will just take time to get into the routine.

God has placed me into a position where I must rely on him for everything to work. I admit that I'm tired and when I get a moment to sit down I have to make myself rest and not worry about everything else. My mind doesn't stop thinking about the things I should be doing when I have the chance. But I don't feel like doing anything.

I'm not complaining, I'm just being honest. I look at this blog like my journal, it just helps me to get my feelings out. Things have changed and like so much of life, it's time to adjust again. Change is hard because it takes away old things and forces you into new things, into shapes you've never been in before. Like taking a round peg and shoving it into a square hole and saying, "Now, you must be square when all your life you've been round."

The Master takes the clay into his hand and with the other he takes the tool of adversity, of circumstance and scrapes off the edges that are not according to his plan. Sometimes he just takes a little off and in other areas he digs deep with the tool. If the clay is moist enough the edges glide off easily. But if the clay is dry, he has to use more pressure and force to accomplish his will.

And the Master will have his will, regardless.

Sometimes, if the clay is resistant it must be completely crushed and reshaped again. I wonder how many times I've gone through this process in my lifetime and how many times I will have to go through it in the future. Maybe I don't want to know.

One thing I know about the Master's hand is that we're always in the palm of it because adversity and circumstance never cease. Help me Holy Spirit to remain pliable, let your oil fill every fiber of my being so that when you use your tools I immediately bend to your will. Make me into that beautiful article that you've had in mind for me since the beginning. Do the same for all who love and follow your son, make us more like you. Amen.

Home Again

August 12, 2008

I'm glad to say God is good and we made it home in one piece. It was a long day and a lot of things had to come together in order for it to work. I had asked God for his will, I had asked him to make it easy if he wanted her home and every door opened just like it needed to.

God answered my prayers and most likely many many of your prayers as well. I give him all thanks and praise. It's good to have her home again. Everything from the wheelchair to help getting her into the house to health care at home, God supplied it all! I praise him again!

I also had joy through the whole process, he's teaching me to rely on him for everything I need and not worry. I have so much to learn and I think I'll have many learning opportunities in the future.

She's still a bit weak but she's doing well. She also has a lot of things she's learning to adjust to but I'm confident she will do just fine. With God all things are possible.

Thanks again for all your prayers.

Praises Along the Way- The Valley of Decision

August 9, 2008

I’m sitting in Danni’s room in her special chair made for her with love. She’s in the hospital and her dad’s family are taking over this weekend so I can get some rest. There is so much in front of us, a mountain that can only be cast into the sea by faith.

Decisions, decisions, decisions to be made in a short time. Danni is very weak and she struggles to stand from a seated position. She struggles to sit up from laying down. I think the pneumonia may be better but they still have her on oxygen because when she takes it off her blood oxygen numbers drop.

Wheelchairs? Ramps? Walker? Lift chair? Oxygen? Will I be able to lift her, to support her by myself? Will she need 24 hour care? How can I get her home? How do we get her into the house? Can I take care of her and my two other children? The physical therapy people have suggested continued care by a company that rents space in the hospital. Not quite a nursing home and not quite hospital but somewhere in between. I don’t have peace about that, I can’t go back and forth trying to take care of her on one end and my other two on the other.

I feel as if I’m being torn in two. What do I do God? Give me wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Give me scripture to confirm what I should do. I know you will give me strength.

The doc says that the pain in her back could be the cancer moving into her spine. He asked me if I wanted an MRI. “What can be done if it has moved?” I asked “It can be radiated” he says. “Will it kill it?” I ask “No, it may alleviate the symptoms but it won’t kill it,” he replies. “I have to think about it,” I say to him. “There is no rush to do anything at this point, I just want her to have the best quality of life from here,” he says with a look of compassion.

What is he trying to tell me? What is he trying to say without saying it? Where are we with this thing? I will confess that last night I was so overwhelmed I couldn't even talk. I couldn’t say a word. I just wanted to take comfort in Matty’s arms. I fell asleep.

“Lord, What do I do?” I prayed. “Joel chapter 3 was my answer”. I went to Joel 3 the chapter was about judgement. As I read, I waited for the word to speak to me and there it was in verse 10 “…let the weakling say, “I am strong!” and verse 14 “Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision.”

While I realize that the content of this scripture is different somehow I thought God wants Danni and I to say “I am strong” and he will meet us in this valley of decision. For each one of us the “Day of the Lord is near” because we don’t know the day or the hour we will die and have to face him. For Danni, her “Day of the Lord” is near and I take comfort in the fact that she has received Jesus as her savior.

As I thought about these things a song came to my mind. I’ll share it with you.

Jehovah Jireh, my provider, his grace is sufficient for me. Jehovah Jireh, my provider, his grace is sufficient for me. My God shall supply all I need, according to his riches in glory, He will give his angels charge over me. Jehovah Jireh cares for me, for me, for me, Jehovah Jireh cares for me.

Even as I’ve been writing, his spirit confirms his word in this song that plays over and over in my spirit. Jehovah Jireh is a Hebrew term for God meaning- My God will provide or God my provider. What a beautiful song to circulate through my brain at such a time as this bringing me peace beyond words. Once again, I am speechless, (wow, that’s twice in two days, it’s a miracle!)

Anyways, I have faith and instead of wearing myself to a frazzle, I’ve decided to let the Lord handle the details. I know that sounds simple but when I tried on my own in the above mentioned incident I fried myself! Short circuited my brain.

I’m encouraged that I will see a TRUE miracle as I am in a place that requires one. What a perfect moment for God to show his power. Besides all that Jesus says that HIS yolk is easy and HIS burden is light, either I believe his word or I don’t. Either I believe that he wants to provide for me what I need and that I don’t need to worry or I don’t. Simple as that.

As, I looked up this scripture to be accurate in Matthew 11 vs. 25-30 I was encouraged to find it entitled “Rest for the Weary”. I was also delight to read other very familiar scriptures here. I also thought of how Jesus spoke to his disciples about worry in Matthew 6 vs. 25-34. What wisdom. Why do I even think about it? God’s got it under control. I just need to seek first his kingdom and he takes care of the rest.

Father, I believe, forgive my unbelief and help me to kick back, take your yoke upon me and rest in your provision for me. Thank you for your peace. I can’t wait to see you move! I give you praise in advance for the wonders my eyes will see. AMEN It shall be so!

Things I'm Thankful for Today

August 8, 2008

These are in random order

The shiney drop of dew on my windshield. It looked like a diamond.

I'm thankful that the old blind guy made it across the street this morning and didn't get squished by the cars whizzing by him.

I'm thankful for my charger for my laptop especially when I'm in the middle of this!

I'm thankful that Danni is moving a little better today.

I'm thankful for her pain meds.

I'm thankful that the nurses are kind and they allow me to be back in ICU with Danni.

I'm thankful for this blog and the work God is doing through it.

Thank you, God, for my loving husband.

Thank you for doctors and hospitals and nurses who are willing to give so much of their lives to the care of others.

I'm realizing this could go on and on. I have so many things to be thankful for...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for Jessi and Atlee.

I'm thankful for Jesus.

My friends

My mom and dad.

life

My sis and brothers.

chocolate

ice cream

Ok you all get the point.

Thank you, God, for so many people praying, caring and loving us.

Read at Your Own Risk...

August 7, 2008

Uncle! Uncle! God I feel like I’m going to crack! This week has been a killer! Since 6 am Monday morning it has been nonstop! Uncle already! I admit I feel like we are being ground into dust. Maybe some grieving has set in or maybe I’m just exhausted, I wonder how much more we can take.

Trying to take care of Danni has completely consumed my world. My every thought is about Danni. How will we do this, how will we do that, I swear if someone writes in and says you just need to do this or that I will stop writing and shut the blog down! I’m so angry!

It really stinks to see your child who ought to be on her own living a full and exciting life struggling to get out of a bed or a chair! Horrendous! This is horrendous! Half her head is shaved, she has a zipper incision across her head, her skin is stretched so thin from gaining 60 plus pounds in six months that the doctor didn’t have anything to stitch together, she has another zipper incision with about 20 staples in it in the shape of a “c” on the side of her head, Why did the doctor need to use 20 staples? Didn’t she have enough traumas? Does he realize what that will be like when she has to have them out?

What else would you like to know? Oh ,the new shunt (from the “c” zipper) is snaked under her skin down her neck and chest into her abdomen so needless to say she is black and blue in her neck not to mention what she may look like further down, I can’t even bring myself to look! She has been poked and prodded and bruised and cut and rolled and had tubes sticking in her in various places she has to be bathed in bed by someone she doesn’t know. Every inch of her body is swollen beyond belief.

Now you know how she is…not good. She has stage four brain cancer. That’s how she is! I see other teenage girls living their lives working, going to college, dating etc. That’s hard too. I know God has a plan and a purpose but what’s the purpose? What’s the point? She isn’t the only one either; the hospitals are full to overflowing! Just call any hospital in whatever area you live and ask them!

People, if we aren’t in the last hours before Jesus comes I don’t want to know what they will be like. The world is so crazy, I go to restaurants and everyone acts as if nothing is wrong. There is infirmity all around us. In mind, soul, body and spirit people are infirmed just look around you! WAKE UP YOU SLEEPERS! No one wants to hear what I’m saying, no one wants to accept the facts, everyone would rather live in the “I’m okay, your okay, fantasy land.” People, we are NOT okay!

Danni’s only hope, my only hope, your only hope is Jesus. The very God that is allowing the affliction to come upon my family for his purpose is our only hope. Even that sounds crazy to me! Nothing is making sense! Have I lost my faith? I have to ask myself. Have I lost my faith?

NO! In this world there is nothing that satisfies, cars, homes, money, career, education, NOTHING! It’s all vanity, a chasing after the wind! When you die and you will, who will have those things you spent all your life to collect? Someone else! Vanity! Uselessness! A royal waste of time!

The only thing that remains, the only thing we take with us into eternity is Jesus or no Jesus. If the Bible is right, there is a better place after death, and I’ve lived a good life and I don’t go to hell. If the Bible is wrong, I’ve lived a good life and I go to my death in peace. It’s a win win situation. Let me assure you though, GOD IS REAL and the Bible is right! And… Jesus is coming and soon!

God holds me up, he sustains me, and he’s big enough to handle my questions, big enough to handle my fears and doubts. He cares for me and my family. Even in the midst of this terrible situation I testify to you today that much good has come to us! Much good has come to our community, salvation will come to our community, healing and wholeness will come to many! I speak things that are not as though they were! Just like my Father in heaven spoke and the earth came into being!

I live by faith! Healing will come to Danni! Faith will come to many! To all who receive him! God has NEVER let me down and he will continue to uphold me with HIS righteous right hand! He is my rear guard! He makes me to be above and not beneath, the head and not the tail! He is the Alpha and Omega! The beginning and the end and despite all that is going on around me he is the solid ground!

I will not fall, I will not falter, and I will not be defeated! He has caused me to be MORE than a conqueror! I shall not fear! I shall be victorious! My emotions and circumstances shall NOT rule over me! The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to preach good news! The oil of the Spirit fills my cup to overflowing! My boast is in the Lord of Host, he is my salvation! He makes me to be this way! He is the source! In Him is my hope! In Him is my victory! In Him is my being! He holds me together. I have the mind of Christ! He left his peace with me! Halleluiah! What can man do to me?

He holds eternity in his hand! I came from him as Jesus did and I will return to him as Jesus did! Jesus is in the Father and I am in Jesus and Jesus is in me, I have the Holy Spirit as a deposit guaranteeing what is to come! Woo Hoo!

God, I’m sorry I got mad at you today. Forgive me. I’m sorry I let what my eyes saw bring me down. I’m sorry that I forgot who I am in you and gave into my circumstances. Thank you for reminding me by your Holy Spirit in me who I am and the promises you hold for me until that day. Thank you for your promises that I have right now, thank you that I can come boldly before your throne and you hear me and comfort me.

Thank you for your huge shoulders that I can lean into, for your strong arms that embrace me just as I am. Thank you for the peace and joy that floods my soul and enables me to take just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more step.

You are an AWESOME GOD and I praise you! AMEN!

And then I cried and Jesus wept with me. He never left me.

The Struggle

August 7, 2008

Well, it was quite a struggle to get her out of bed but we made it. Through a lot of effort on Danni's part she made it with one nurse on one side and one on the other and me covering the back.

I was really proud at how she just kept after it, baby step by baby step she moved to the chair and sat down to her breakfast, she was hungry.

They will be moving her to a room on the fifth floor today or as soon as they can. She's still having pain in her back but that seems to be muscular at this point. She just keeps plodding along.

She wanted me to take a picture of her so that her doctor could see that she got up and made it to the chair. She cracked us up. Per usual.

Thank you for your continued prayers and love they are much appreciated by me personally.

Resting

August 6, 2008

I went through the double doors, right and down a short hall into the intensive care unit, I slipped into her door and she was laying in her bed. She was resting comfortably and the nurse said that she could have anything to eat she wanted whenever she wanted.

She was still groggy and so I told her I loved her and that I wanted her to rest and headed back for the waiting room. She's doing well but now we have other concerns like her incision in her belly.

We've also realized that before we bring her home we'll have to move her room to the office because it has a bigger doorway so that if she has problems again the EMTs can easily move her out of the house. We've also come to the realization that she needs some special equipment, I'll have to talk to the doc to get the insurance to take care of that.

It's hard to believe that not 6 and a half months ago, Danni was going to college and living on her own, working as a waitress. It's hard to believe that just 3 days ago we were all at the movies. I can still see her chuckling at the stupid stunts and jokes on the big screen. Now we need special handicap stuff and big doorways. What a bummer. Its only been 6 and a half months.

I like what the one blogger said, "life is a gift."

Surgery is Done

August 6, 2008

The surgery is over and she came through okay. The doc says that the fluid pocket seems to be going down already but she may have trouble with the incision in her abdomen because her skin is thin. They had to use a special adhesive.

Hopefully, her abdomen won't be the next "bump in the road".

Into Surgery She Went...

August 6, 2008

Danni went to surgery at approximately 1:15 pm and the surgery should last about an hour or two.

I will keep you all updated.

Surgery Tomorrow

August 5, 2008

Just heard from the doctor, he is still planning to put the shunt in tomorrow. Amazingly enough he says she's breathing ok and that we need to get it done to help her with the fluid situation.

So, tomorrow she will have the surgery around 1:30. I'm still amazed at how much better she is today than yesterday. Thank you Jesus.

Rough Day But She Made It!!

August 5, 2008

Danni is doing well, she's back to her old self! Yea! We were concerned about her yesterday, thanks for all your prayers! The MRI confirmed that Danni had bleeding on her brain but the doctor wasn't too concerned about that. He said it would go away.

He is still planning to put the shunt in on Wednesday as long as the pneumonia is cleared up. This morning when I went in to see her, she's in intensive care, she asked what had happened yesterday, she couldn't remember much at all, she wondered why she was in the hospital.

I thank God that he took care of her and her pain. He also took control of her memory so she didn't have to relive such a terrible day. I thank him and praise him for that and my faith in his ablility and love grows.

They will continue to watch her the next few days and hopefully the pneumonia will clear itself quickly. Thank you Jesus!

Long Day for Dan

August 4, 2008

This morning at 6 am when I checked on Danni she was slumped over in her bed and she was moving her arms around her head. I thought and still think that she had a seizure. We called 911 and they took her to LaGrange. After a CAT scan and a chest x-ray we were told that she has pneumonia in both lungs and a hemerage on her brain.

She was having 7 (1-10, 10 worst pain) headaches and back pain. They transported her by ambulance to Parkview Main where after a brief stay in ER they moved her to Intensive care.
She has just finished her MRI and we are waiting to see what the doctor has to say. He has been at another hospital doing another surgery today.

As soon as we know more I will update the blog, thanks for all the prayers.

Poker Run Benefit for Danni

A local bar held a poker run benefit for Danni, her dad is in the lead with Danni's stepmom and her grandma and grandpa are on the yellow bike. Seeing them all ride past our house made me smile big and later made me cry.

I love how God brings people together. It was a beautiful thing to witness. They waved and some blew her kisses. What a wonderful group of people!

I want to add also that this isn't the first fundraiser the bar has done for her they have gone out of their way to do several. They are an over and above! May God bless them.

I've also posted the video on youtube.com for the whole world to see their kindness and love!

The Difficult Day

August 1, 2008

It's been a difficult day for Danni. It's a struggle for her to get out of bed, physically she's weak today. But, she presses on even when I can tell that it hurts like crazy. She's been having pretty strong headaches today and her back is giving her fits. I guess she's built like me.

She insists on doing it herself and rarely asks for help. It's so hard for me to turn and walk out of the room, she doesn't want me to watch or try to help her. She's not prideful she just knows she has to keep moving and she has to use her own muscles to keep them going.

One foot in front of the other, from wall to wall and furniture to furniture she soldiers on. People ask me how she is doing, most just to be polite, they don't want to know what I see. But, I can't say that I blame them, I don't want to know what I see either.

Danni and I are not the only one who is suffering in the house, it's been a struggle for all of us. But God is faithfull, I have to continue to believe that God has a plan and that he's working everything out for our good. Living by faith, isn't that what we're told to do? What other choice do we have? Fear isn't an option.

Through all we're bearing, there is such the presence of God, his peace and joy unspeakable, full of glory. I'm not talking about happiness, I'm talking about joy. Joy is that calm assurance on the inside that isn't affected by circumstance at all. It's like a well springing up inside that just doesn't quit, unless I fear that's why fear isn't an option. I won't make it without the constant abiding presence of joy. Happiness is fleeting and very dependant upon the circumstances of the moment. Give me joy over happiness any day!

Today wasn't the happiest of days, nevertheless, God's peace and joy never left me. God's ways are so different, his thoughts so much higher than ours. I marvel at him. I marvel at Danni. I marvel at life. I have confidence that God will pull our family through.