March 31, 2008, She Comes Home Today-Maybe

At first the doctor told me that it would be another week. Then he went out in the hall and read that all the other doctors had released her to go and he decided that with some training I could empty the drain that she has in her head.

So, today we have to have training for diabetic meters and test strips and insulin shots to keep track of her sugar and training for emptying the drain and giving her the antibiotic 3 times a day through her Picc line.

Your basic crash course in nursing. Then we hope that she will go home this afternoon or tomorrow morning. It should be a snap! Um-Yea-Ok...are you sensing my sarcasm? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be going home, it's just a lot to get used too. Good thing God is with us and never leaves us! Lots of new prayer requests. Thanks to all of you who keep hanging in there with us now the newness of it all has worn off.

March 29, 2008, Much Better!

Today Danni is doing much better. Her sugar is being controlled and the fluid coming from her head is clearing.

She had a Pic line put into her vein today because the antibiotic she is getting is hard on little veins. The pic line is a catheter that goes through the vein and into her heart. That was a little tough going but we made it! It will go home with her so that we can give her the antibiotics she will need for the next five or so weeks.

I'll do my best to keep everyone up to date. Thanks again!

March 28, 2008, She's Doing Well

Still hanging in there. Nothing much has changed. Just a waiting game. She will most likely be in the hospital for another 5 days or so. We are waiting to see if she will heal from the last surgery. She can't go home until the draining slows or stops.

She's on big time antibiotics and we are also waiting on a culture to come back that the doctor took during surgery to see if any other infections grow so they know if she's getting the right antibiotic or if she needs another one to treat something else.

She has been having trouble with her blood sugar because of the steroids so now they are also treating her with insulin and poking her fingers for blood samples quite a bit. Not fun for Danni, she's not fond of shots.

Keep praying and thanks for all the love in your posts!

March 26, 2008, Change of Heart

This morning the doctor came to see Danni. He seemed to have changed his mind about the major surgery. He said he had looked at her blood work and she doesn't seem sick. He said that there might be something else that we could do.

He wants to just clean out the the wound on the side of her head and keep pumping the antibiotics. He will close the wound and drain th fluid with a needle every day in effort to get it to heal.

If the bone is infected the wound won't heal so we will watch her throughout the weekend in the hospital and we should know if its working by the weekend. The doctor was concerned that the other surgery would put her too far behind in her radiation treatments. Getting her back to them seems to be first and foremost in his mind.

It's a long shot but with God all things are possible.

Father, we all agree in the fullness of Jesus name that this infection will die! We also agree that healthy tissue will overcome diseased tissue and we ask for total health and healing for Danni! Amen.

March 25, 2008, Praises Along the Way-Two Steps Forward and Three Steps Back

The sky was beautiful this morning, the air a little chilly. We started for the doctor’s office on what I knew would be a long day. I had to choke back the tears as I drove. The Hillsong worship team kept me praising God. I kept checking on Danni beside me, she was bundled in her coat with a bandage on her head, her fingers pulled into the palm part of her fuzzy pink gloves to keep her hands warm.

We arrived at the doctor’s office in time and were directed to go to the building next door for a CT scan. When we finished there we walked the short distance back to the doctor’s office. Into the elevator and down to the basement for blood work, it didn’t take long before we were done and in the waiting room to see the doctor.

I was expecting to hear that she needed a shunt to control the drainage. The doctor came in and gave it to us straight in a humble kind of way - another punch in the stomach. There was infection and the only way to help her was to take out the bone flap and completely remove it!

“And leave her without anything to cover her brain!?” I said to the doctor. “You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do,” was the doctor’s reply. I looked at Danni’s step-mom standing across the small room. Her eyes were red and I could tell she was fighting to keep the tears from flowing. I’m sure I gave her a “deer in the headlights” look. We asked a few questions and waited for the nurse.

The nurse came in and gave us an envelope with the doctor’s orders for the hospital nurses and we were on our way to the hospital once again. This place is becoming my home away from home.

What would we do without God? How does anyone cope during something like this without him? I told Danni when we got in the car, “I’m glad God is in control or we’d be sunk!”

I’m sitting here in the little couch in Danni’s room and its 9:32 pm. She’s wrestling with her IV cord and the TV remote trying to scoot into her bed. She always wants to do things on her own. So I let her. She was blessed tonight with a movie on TV that she said she was thinking about today. She had wished she could see it. God hears even the desires of our heart. Danni hadn’t mentioned it to anyone, yet God knew.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I do know that tonight I get to spend the night with her and God is very near. What an extraordinary spirit I’ve been blessed to care for and know.

She’s lying in bed, cup of ice in one hand and cell phone texts flying out the other. The grace she’s been given to endure this is amazing. Thank you, Jesus, you are so good.

March 25, 2008, Craniotomy # 2- Read at your own risk!

Well, we have some staph infection in her head. On the outside of her skull under her skin and most likely in the bone flap that the doctor cut last time and then put back after surgery.

The surgery will take place Wednesday evening (March 26, 2008) at 6 pm. Heads up EWC cell groups!!!

Here's the procedure, the doctor will go back in the original incision, take the bone flap out do away with it, clean the edges of the skull and take out any infected bone around the edge, then they will clean out the pocket on the side of her head and close her skin up without any bone on top.

She'll be that way for a while and then they will put a plastic piece in to complete her skull after they have the infection under control.

I know, I freaked out too! The best part is that they will send her home in between times, without a skull piece on top to protect her brain. Lord help us!

She will also have to have six weeks of iv antibiotics to kill the staph in her skull. I'm learning so much in the medical field that I'm beginning to wonder if I will be a nurse at some point in my life! Not that I really have a desire to do so, I just believe that everything we go through is training for a future date.

Needless to say, we can use all the prayers we can get. Thanks to all!

March 25, 2008, Current Prayer Needs

Today we are taking Danni to the doctor again. She is having a lot of leakage from the incision site and it is also draining into her face putting pressure on the incision.

The nurse told us to be there by 9:15 for blood work and cat scan and she also informed me to be ready to stay. I don't know what we will be facing for sure today but we need special prayers for wisdom, direction, knowledge, understanding and courage to not let the circumstances raise their head above the knowledge of and Name of Jesus Christ!

This scripture keeps coming to me JOHN 11:40 Then Jesus said,"Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" Then Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead.

Thank you from the bottom, middle and top of my heart.

Love, The mom

March 23, 2008, Praises Along the Way- Florida Sunshine

The other day we received some Florida sunshine from my mom's (Danni's grandmother) church. Her Sunday school class took up a love offering for Danni and raised a nice sum for her. They also sent a large box full of gifts, cards, and love.

We want to say a special thanks to them for their love and generosity.

We've also had several neighbors give us of their love and finances. We are humbly blessed. God is so faithful!

When I read the comment from Lori Bieber praying for us to have Florida sunshine I had to let her know. This was an answer to your prayer! God bless you all!

March 23, 2008, Doin' Okay

I haven't given an update lately because Danni has been staying a few days with her dad. Also, her condition is stable and about the same. She's in good spirits and seems to be dealing with everything in her own laid back way.

We've been to see the neurosurgeon a few times to see if she can begin radiation again on Monday or Tuesday. The problem is that the incision is still draining and she has a swollen spot on the side of her forehead that changes the way her face fits into the mask for radiation, which changes precise angles and measurements the machine uses to do the treatment.

I'm not sure why the Lord seems to be putting things on hold, so I will trust him to take care of her. He is the Great Physician who knows exactly what needs to happen for her. I will call Monday to see if I should bring her for treatments or not. There are so many unknowns and it seems even when I or others do ask questions it's hard to think of the right ones to ask and then the questions the doctor does answer doesn't seem to get to the heart of the matter.

Good thing we have God looking out for her because this back and forth stuff is very frustrating! It's hard to understand unless you have experienced it and even you're experiencing it you can't understand! It seems I just never know exactly what to do to help Danni. One doctor says one thing, another doctor says something else.

Thank God for God! He is constant and unchanging! The rock on which we stand in this storm. I can trust that he will make sure I don't miss something. He will help me do my best!

March 20, 2008, Praises Along the Way- Easter Comfort

March 20, 2008

Today my thoughts are filled with Easter. Little ladies in spiffy dresses and little gentlemen with bow ties. A beautiful Easter dress for mom and big dinners. Family and fun hunting Easter eggs, symbols of new life. Singing songs like he's alive and other hymns of praise. Worshiping together with christian family in crisp, early morning sunrise services with Easter breakfast following.

Finally, spring has arrived filling my our heart with hope and lifting my spirit as the sunshine breaks through the clouds.

Mark 10:13-16 says People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this he was indignant.

He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.

I love that last part. Someone wrote in on one of the blog entries on this site saying how they crawled onto their Father's lap and he held them through difficult times. God is so good. I too as well as many of us have been in that position, sitting on the Father's lap cuddled up next to him, listening to every heartbeat, every breath just resting in him.

What a comfort, what an awesome thing, to be able to draw near to our Father in times of trouble and know that he takes us into his arms, puts his hands on us and blesses us. I can feel his warmth, presence and peace all over me as I write you these words. It brings tears to my eyes.

Thank you Father for your goodness, for your loving arms around me, for the peace you bring to my heart. Do this for all your children today as they read these words.
I love you Father, Amen.

March 19, 2008, How is Danni?

March 19, 2008

Danni is feeling relatively well. She is still having swelling in her knees and face. We went to two doctors today because her head is still seeping and there were new signs of possible infection at the incision site.

We were able to back the steroids down a bit so that was a praise, hopefully in a week or two we'll have her weaned down to a minimal amount. Danni has the best attitude. Today when I went to look at her head she could see the concern in my face and before I even said a word she said, "I think that Jesus knows what's going on and he has it under control."

I was surprised at her words. Such resolve and calm. Your prayers for her are working!

We had to hold off on the radiation until her head heals a bit more. This is not a good thing because every day we hold off is a day we lose to fight the cancer. She can only have these treatments for six weeks, if she loses a day she doesn't make it up in the end and if she misses too many days they have to start over.

There are many prayer concerns here. I would also like to ask for prayer for two other families whose lives have recently been touched with tumors and cancer. Thanks to you all. Much love, Christy-mom

March 17, 2008, Danni Sees the Doctor

Danni will be going home this afternoon. The doctor says that the leakage is most likely connected with the chemo wafers. He suggested that we hold off on radiation for the next couple of days and that we keep her head elevated all the time.

Hopefully, we'll be getting a hospital bed for her to help with the elevation process. Originally the ER doctor thought that there was a bubble of air at the top of Danni's head (on the inside) but her neurosurgeon assured us that it wasn't a bubble of air but a chemo wafer.

For now the leaking has stopped and all is well. We have to wait to hear from the chemo Dr. and the radiology Dr. and a social worker to help with the bed situation then we can come home. I am also waiting on the blood count they did this morning to see how the prayers for the platelets turned out! Thanks again for all your wonderful prayers! God's richest blessings to all of you.

March 16, 2008, Danni to the ER

We came to the ER at Parkview Main at 11 am. It is 7:30 pm and we just saw the doctor as he was in surgery all day. We came because she had spinal fluid leaking from the top of her head. Danni was admitted and the doctor says she cannot go home until the leaking stops. The fear is infection.

Also, there is another issue. Danni's platelets (used to clot blood) are low. The count should be between 100 and 440 hers were 88 on Monday and today's test shows they are now 55. Please pray specifically for the blood count to go up and that the leaking stops. Pray also against infection. Danni is also having some minor side effects from the medication she's taking. You can pray for those too. Thank you all for your faithful prayers.

March 15, 2008, Praises Along the Way- Deep Cries

I (the mom) have felt distant from the Lord lately. I've been working and trying to hold everything together. Much too big a job for me. I feel like the last few weeks of my life have been a complete blur. Most days I don't know what day it is. Everything runs together. I try to spend time with God and I fall asleep from emotional exhaustion.

I found myself just crying out to him the other night in the shower, my only place of solitude; all I could do was cry out to him from the deepest parts of me. I found Psalm 22 for the "scripture for today" today, it stood out to me. When I cry, he hears me (vs 22-24). Sometimes we as people just want to be heard. When I had cried out to him I had peace again. He came in and washed over me. With every drop of his grace and mercy filling me again, I found the strength to keep walking.

Sometimes God carries us and sometimes we walk with his help. God carried me through Danni's surgery and now it's time for me to walk. His silence can be unnerving, but I have to trust that he's there and he'll never leave. If you are in a situation where God seems to be silent, get up and walk. He's there; he just wants to see if you trust him.

I have this picture in my mind of an infant walking holding onto a parent’s fingers. Every parent has experienced this where you pull away a bit to see what they can do on their own. But you aren't far away… and neither is God.

I praise you, Father, for the parent that you are to me! Causing me to walk through waters I've never been in before to bring a change in me. I praise you, Father, that you are never far away! May I live up to your expectations of me, may my life bring you praise and glory! I lay down at your feet the crowns you've given me from situations I've walked through with your help and I pray to be victorious and make you proud of me - to bring you glory and lead people to your wonderful presence so they can experience the love and grace and mercy and fulfillment of a relationship with you.

You are so much more than dos and don'ts of religion. In you there is freedom to be who you created me to be. Thank you, Father; set your children free. Amen

March 14, 2008, Third Radiation and Rest for the Weekend

Danni is still doing well with radiation. It takes about ten minutes for her to have the treatment and she has a great attitude. I'm very blessed with the way she is accepting things and being a good patient. Please continue to pray that the swelling in her face goes down and that there will be no bad effects from radiation.

We will know more on Monday as to whether or not she can start her chemo treatments. Pray that her blood count comes up. Thanks again.

March 12, 2008, Good News!

Danni's first radiation treatment went well. She found it relaxing! Oh the grace of God. Here's what you can do if you want to do something for us -- pray against adverse side effects from treatments and pray that the tumors die in Jesus name and pray that her blood count goes to normal levels! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Praying is the most we all can do. Love to all!

March 12, 2008, Praises Along the Way- Thoughts and Prayers

This morning I was thinking about another family in crisis in our town. How terrible it must be for them as her husband is the one stricken with cancer. Not to have my husband's arms around me at night. Not to have him with me would be so hard. He's been used of God mightily to minister to my heart. To comfort me and help me stay strong. I pray for this family, for his wife that she will be strong and courageous, easier said than done I'm sure. I ask the Lord to hold them together in one of his mighty hands and cover them with the other. I pray that the Lord would heal her husband and every heart involved from the inside out.

The pressure on them must be extreme. Pushing in on them from every side. I have heard people say and I have said it myself that God won't give us more than we can bear, but as I looked for the verse to back up what I was thinking, it wasn't there! I only found that God won't give us more than we can bear where temptation is involved. I've always wondered about that because sometimes it seems God puts so much pressure on us that we break. Now that I think of it, there are a lot of scriptures about being broken, crushed, hard pressed, molded, and Jesus even says we will go through trials and tribulations.

Monday, I was stretched so thin I didn't think I could hold on. The wear on a person in this situation is deceptive. I just always feel a little tired but there is this "mom motor" in me that just keeps on going and going like the energizer bunny. I also tire pretty quickly. Tuesday, my body was at work but my mind was elsewhere. Concentration is difficult for me at times anyway, then add this to it, and I really had to work at it.

I told my "gift of God" husband (Matthew means gift of God) yesterday that I don't know what it is that God wants to do with me in this area. I ask for help when I need it, it doesn't seem that it's a matter of pride. What is it God? What are you working out of me so I can agree with you and get rid of it and not have to go around this mountain again!

Maybe it's to teach me to go to him constantly about every little thing. I know in my head that he wants me to do this. Scriptures come to mind that back up these thoughts but in my heart I think, "That would be annoying to me if I were God!" There is something in me that doesn't want to bother anyone, that hates to ask. Everyone has their own personal tragedies they are dealing with, mine is not bigger or more tragic than others. Maybe it is pride and independence. Maybe it's patience. It always seems that during these really stressful times in my life God sends someone for me to be patient with. I feel like I'm rambling.

Lord, I give up my reasoning, I give up my thoughts, I lay them at your feet. Open my eyes, give me wisdom and knowledge, give me heart revelation instead of fleshly thoughts or reasoning by traditions of men. I want to see. Heal me. Lord, do the same for my children; that they may stand on my spiritual shoulders, to go from where I am in you and reach deeper into you. I am still and I know that you are God, I wait patiently on you to heal us and deliver us. I love you, Lord. Amen.

March 10, 2008

Today Danni went to the chemotherapy doctor. She was told that her blood count was too low to begin chemotherapy but that she would most likely start radiation on Wednesday, March 12.

This concerned us but we determined not to fear. Please pray for her blood count to rise. Love and blessings to you all, thanks for praying.

March 8, 2008, Praises Along the Way- The Dream

I've been waiting on the Lord to speak to me about what to write and this morning I had a dream. I didn't want to write just to write or because people were expecting me to, I wanted the Lord to speak, to inspire me.My dream started in Italy. I was with my children and we were at a hospital on the side of a beautiful mountain. We were visiting the hospital and it was so new they were still doing work on it in various areas. We came upon a group of nurses who were trying to set up their stations. A technical person, a lady, was setting up the computer systems for them. She had a big place on the top of her head where it was obvious that she had had brain surgery of some type. She began to share her story with the nurses and we were all in tears. Then I shared a bit about my situation but the nurses didn't seem interested so I stopped sharing and went on touring the hospital.

I feel like I'm baring my soul for some reason. Anyway, the dream went on and we continued to tour the hospital until it was time to go back to where we were staying. We got lost down a winding flight of stairs. I don't know where my middle daughter was but I wasn't worried about her because she was safe somewhere. I have three children, 19 (girl), 14 (girl), and 10 (boy). Danni, my oldest, took her brother, my youngest, and they ran ahead of me on the stairs. The staircase was small and wooden, roughly made and very small with tight turns. I lost them.I didn't know what to do. I searched and searched. I called to them but they were gone. I followed the stairs to a river, the water was swiftly moving so I turned around. I knew they wouldn't have gone in there and I went back up the stairs looking for a way out of the staircase. There was an opening to an apartment so I slipped through. Across from the stairs I could hear a child in a room behind a door. It sounded like the child was getting ready for bed. I knew there were people in the house so I ran to the basement. There were many rooms down there; they were painted in shades of pinks and blues.

I hid in a closet surrounded by clothes, but I didn't have any on. Next thing I knew. people were having a party in the room in which I was hiding in the closet. A small woman reached into the closet and put her hand on me. I cried out to her and said, “Please, help me. I've lost my children," and I wailed. It was a sound I had never heard myself make. They ignored me and I realized they weren't going to help me.I awoke and I heard the Lord say, "It’s time to write."My thoughts went to the fact that I have my children with me. I know where they are. But what about the woman who doesn't know where her child is or the woman who has had an abortion. The woman who has had to give her child up for adoption and wonders daily if the child has everything he or she needs, if the adoptive parents are doing as they would have done. The agony they silently bare inside must be terrible. I thank the Lord for my circumstances. I'm sure that other parts of the dream refer to my feelings of helplessness – my feelings that no one can care as I do; my thoughts of the coming week and the uncertainties that lie ahead; losing Danni, and remembering things my son has said about not wanting her to die.

I can't even imagine what the women above feel or experience, but I know the Lord has a plan for them too. A purpose for the pain they are going or have gone through. The Bible says in Revelation 12:11: "They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." Interestingly enough, this chapter also speaks of a dragon (the enemy) seeking to devour a woman's child who in childbirth.

I don't know why bad things happen to our children sometimes, but I know for me that I will use the "word of my testimony" to overcome the enemy of our souls to reach as many people for Christ as I can.

My mother's heart breaks for those of us who have to deal with things out of our control where our children are concerned, but I want you to know that God sees everything, and in all the mess, He does love us. Turn to him and let him use you in a powerful way with the word of your testimony to overcome the evil the enemy has sought to bring into your life! Work with God to turn it for good and get as much glory for him and help as many people as you can to find rest in him.If you've had experience in the area I've spoken of today, you have a powerful testimony within you. Release it so others can find their way, so others can be healed and you'll find that God will heal you in the process.I can't imagine how God feels, seeing the state of so many of his children who don't yet know him, knowing how much he loves them and how lost they are to him. The cry from his heart must be enormous, the pain in his heart unbearable.

God, help me to be an overcomer, help me to reach your children who are lost, who don't yet know you and help them find their way to you. You are merciful, God. I worship you.

March 7, 2008

Danni is still doing fine. Her legs are hurting every now and then. She can take ibuprofen now so we'll see if that doesn't help. She has been at her dad's house yesterday and today and she'll be home tomorrow. It’s good for her to get out of the house and it gives me time to catch up on some things at home. I'm sorry I haven't blogged for awhile, I've been working and trying to prepare for next week. Keep praying, it's nice to have a breather in between doctors’ appointments and the start of chemo and radiation. Next week we begin the treatment process.

Thanks to all of you who had given us money for gas, prayers, cards and other things, the generosity and love of this community overwhelms me. May the Lord bless you abundantly!!

March 5, 2008

The staples were removed and everything looks fine. Danni is having more trouble with her knees and ankles. No one knows what the problem is so I'll be calling her doctor today to hopefully get some help for her. Pray that we can get to the bottom of this it can be quite painful for her. Thanks again.

March 4, 2008

Danni went to Radiology today for the first time at Parkview North in Ft. Wayne. The facility is brand new and the people there are very kind and helpful. She did NOT have a treatment today. They made a mask for her face and took a 3-D cat scan of her head to get images of the remaining tumors. The purpose for this was to prepare the machinery to be accurate and hold her head still when she does start her treatments next Tuesday or Wednesday.

The doctor was very knowledgeable and had great bedside manner. I feel very confident about taking Danni there. He examined her and backed her down on some of her medication; they also took blood to make sure that her medication doses were working properly.

The doctor also mentioned that not all of the tumors are made up of the aggressive type, so we took that as good news. The others are made of more moderate type. The wafers were specifically to take care of the tumor left around the surgery site but would have little effect on the other tumors that the surgeon couldn't get to. Weather permitting, tomorrow is "staples out" day. I don't thing Danni is looking too forward to this. Please pray for peace for her and that we get there in one piece on the roads if we go.

Danni Today

Danni is holding her own today. She spends most of her day reading and resting, although in the last few days she's been doing some stretching and mild exercising. Please remember to pray for us tomorrow and Wednesday as these will be some tough days for Danni – days I haven't been looking forward to. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for your kind words and prayers over these many long weeks. God's blessings to you all.

Praises Along the Way- Danni's shoes

This morning I had to buy some stamps so I put my check in the orange postal envelope and prepared to go to the mailbox. I was looking for an easy pair of shoes at the front door just to slip my feet in so I could make the quick trip.

There on the floor were a pair of white Nikes with hot pink swooshes. I slipped them on and as I reached for the door I realized that they were Danni's shoes. "I can't imagine what it would be like to wear Danni's shoes," I thought to myself. I thought of the day I dragged her out of bed to go to the ophthalmologist. Hair all a mess up in a ponytail, she had put on a pair of dress pants because they were comfortable along with a sweatshirt, and those Nike shoes she had loosely slipped on her feet.

God must have kept back the flood of worry from overtaking me that day. When I look back, there she was in critical condition and I didn't even know it. I wonder how near to death we are every day and we don't even know it. We’re only alive because God, the Creator of the Universe, says so. God really has a way of revealing himself in times like these. Life and Death are in his hands. As a Christian, I don't fear death but God is making me so aware today through Danni's shoes that He is the One who holds the delicate balance in his hands. No wonder every life is precious to him. Like a thin, fragile, crystal prism that shines in many directions with myriad of colors when the light hits it. Beautiful. Even with the flaws, God loves you and has a great plan for you. You're precious to him. And so is Danni.

I guess what I'm trying to say is life is precious to God and so it should be to us. Say what you need to say to your loved ones today, never leave without saying goodbye, don't put it off – they may not be there tomorrow.

Praises Along the Way- The chemo pill race!

February 28 - 29, 2008 I knew I would have to fill this prescription soon but I held off on it as long as I could. I called here and there to find a pharmacy that would take Danni's insurance card. It's a very expensive drug.

"God, you know what we need, HELP," I prayed under my breath as I listened to the elevator music on the other end of the line. The representative from the insurance company came back on the phone several times. "No, no places in Ft Wayne," she said.

“HELP, HELP, HELP!” I prayed again. "Okay, how about South Bend?" I replied. "Oh, yes there are a lot of places in South Bend!" she said. "Great, how about Elkhart or Goshen?" I shot back trying to get as close to home as I could. "Meijer in Goshen?" she asked. "That would be fine," I said. She would try to get the pills there. She came back and said, "No, can't get them there."

“HELP, HELP, HELP, Lord, please make a way,” I thought. Finally, she came back, “We can get them at a Kroger store in Goshen.”

The next day, her grandmother came to get her information to go get the drugs and my mom decided to go with her. What a God-send that would be, as Grandma One didn't have a phone but Grandma Two did!

My mom called from the store and said, "The pharmacist can't get it to go through." My heart sank. Our only alternative would have been to get the drugs by mail and who knew if we'd get them on time. Cool as a cucumber, Grandma Two (my mom) said, "Call the insurance company and see if they can do something." I was ready to give up. I think fighting for things like this wears me out more than anything!

I called the insurance company and the lady was very helpful. She took over for me and figured out what we had to do. I was very grateful to her and the favor that God had given me with the company up till now. God going before me, why do I doubt?! Ever just want to kick yourself? Anyway, I called Mom back and within minutes they had the drug in their possession. And that's not all! Danni's co-pay was only $60 and the entire bill for the drug was $4200. The insurance company had picked up the rest!

Thank God for his provision for her! Don't ever doubt that God will provide for you no matter what the circumstances. Often, they are just a mist or a distraction to take your eyes off of the ONE who is JEHOVAH JIRAH (Hebrew name of God meaning the Lord will provide or Our Provider).

Don't Give Up on Her

March 1, 2008
Danni is quiet today. I'm sure she isn't looking forward to next week. Pray for her spirit.

Another note -- Please don't be offended, friends of Danni, that she doesn't want to see anyone. Don't take it personally and give up on her. She's dealing with a lot and needs time. Thank you for the love you've shown her by giving her quiet time here at home, even when you just can't wait to see her. Proverbs 17:17 says, "A friend loves at all times." I am amazed at all her devoted friends, she is truly blessed. I'd have a hard time being apart from her too!