The Difficult Day

August 1, 2008

It's been a difficult day for Danni. It's a struggle for her to get out of bed, physically she's weak today. But, she presses on even when I can tell that it hurts like crazy. She's been having pretty strong headaches today and her back is giving her fits. I guess she's built like me.

She insists on doing it herself and rarely asks for help. It's so hard for me to turn and walk out of the room, she doesn't want me to watch or try to help her. She's not prideful she just knows she has to keep moving and she has to use her own muscles to keep them going.

One foot in front of the other, from wall to wall and furniture to furniture she soldiers on. People ask me how she is doing, most just to be polite, they don't want to know what I see. But, I can't say that I blame them, I don't want to know what I see either.

Danni and I are not the only one who is suffering in the house, it's been a struggle for all of us. But God is faithfull, I have to continue to believe that God has a plan and that he's working everything out for our good. Living by faith, isn't that what we're told to do? What other choice do we have? Fear isn't an option.

Through all we're bearing, there is such the presence of God, his peace and joy unspeakable, full of glory. I'm not talking about happiness, I'm talking about joy. Joy is that calm assurance on the inside that isn't affected by circumstance at all. It's like a well springing up inside that just doesn't quit, unless I fear that's why fear isn't an option. I won't make it without the constant abiding presence of joy. Happiness is fleeting and very dependant upon the circumstances of the moment. Give me joy over happiness any day!

Today wasn't the happiest of days, nevertheless, God's peace and joy never left me. God's ways are so different, his thoughts so much higher than ours. I marvel at him. I marvel at Danni. I marvel at life. I have confidence that God will pull our family through.


Anonymous said...

I can not understand all that you are feeling...but thank goodness GOD is there with you every step of the way! He is there every breath that you take...he sees all and knows all. He will take care of you and your family. As HE does us all. AMEN!

Chaplain Sam said...

James 1:2-4 (Peterson, Eugene H.: The Message : The Bible in Contemporary Language)

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

I have found this to be a very difficult passage to live out in real life. Never-the-less, it is in the Book and therefor absolutely true.

You are in my prayers.

jj said...

WE LOVE YOU! My poor seester and her little sharky!