August 13, 2008
I'm feeling a bit more at ease about the responsibilities of having Danni home. My friends and family have offered to help out during the day if I need to get away, which is good. God has supplied all that I need to take care of her.
Now, I just need to figure out how to balance the time I have. I have other responsibilities that I have to work around her schedule, which shouldn't be a problem, it will just take time to get into the routine.
God has placed me into a position where I must rely on him for everything to work. I admit that I'm tired and when I get a moment to sit down I have to make myself rest and not worry about everything else. My mind doesn't stop thinking about the things I should be doing when I have the chance. But I don't feel like doing anything.
I'm not complaining, I'm just being honest. I look at this blog like my journal, it just helps me to get my feelings out. Things have changed and like so much of life, it's time to adjust again. Change is hard because it takes away old things and forces you into new things, into shapes you've never been in before. Like taking a round peg and shoving it into a square hole and saying, "Now, you must be square when all your life you've been round."
The Master takes the clay into his hand and with the other he takes the tool of adversity, of circumstance and scrapes off the edges that are not according to his plan. Sometimes he just takes a little off and in other areas he digs deep with the tool. If the clay is moist enough the edges glide off easily. But if the clay is dry, he has to use more pressure and force to accomplish his will.
And the Master will have his will, regardless.
Sometimes, if the clay is resistant it must be completely crushed and reshaped again. I wonder how many times I've gone through this process in my lifetime and how many times I will have to go through it in the future. Maybe I don't want to know.
One thing I know about the Master's hand is that we're always in the palm of it because adversity and circumstance never cease. Help me Holy Spirit to remain pliable, let your oil fill every fiber of my being so that when you use your tools I immediately bend to your will. Make me into that beautiful article that you've had in mind for me since the beginning. Do the same for all who love and follow your son, make us more like you. Amen.
August 13, 2008