February 6, 2009
Yesterday I read a news story about a 93 year old man who froze to death in his home because he didn’t pay his heating bill of nearly $1000 and the heating company shut off his source of energy. After the man died a hospital received from him $600,000! He had the money why didn’t he use it? How did this needlessly happen?
As I thought about this I realized that this is the way we as followers of Christ live our lives. We fret and stew about small potato stuff not realizing or believing that we have a Father that is of endless supply! In Luke 12:22-34, Jesus tells the people not to worry about the small stuff (my paraphrase) but to seek the kingdom and these things will be given you as well. GOD IS OUR SUPPLY!
I love the next verse (32), “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom…” Going on it says to sell your possessions and give to the poor. If we see a need in our brothers and sisters give to that need. This is how the kingdom operated at that time.
How can we see the members of the body in need and not help them if it is within our power to do so? How can we send them away and say be warm and fed when they have nothing? (James 2:16) Or better yet should we say we won’t help a person because they haven’t got a job?
In the original church, Acts 2:45 says, “Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.” Is this is how Jesus intends for the kingdom to work? Again in Act 4:32-34 it says, “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. From time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales, and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.”
What a radical thought. It is amazing to me that they sold the things they had for the shear purpose of supplying for another believer, the funds were given to those who had need in the body IF there was a need!
Radical! But look at what unity came from this type of behavior and most importantly it says “With GREAT POWER the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus.” Isn’t this the focus and goal of the believer’s life?
God tells us not to worry about the small stuff of everyday life but to focus on the kingdom seeking it with our whole heart and I don’t know about you but this is really challenging me to do some things different with the money and possessions I’ve been given. People... in these dark days we have got to have the gospel in our mouths and be able to proclaim it with GREAT POWER! GOD IS OUR SUPPLY!
Father, show us, lead us; forgive me for fretting the small stuff. Teach us how your kingdom operates and speak through your church with GREAT POWER the testimonies you have put within us! AMEN!
I challenge you to take these scriptures and find others…pray and seek the kingdom…see what God has to say to you individually and be obedient to what he is telling you to do.
Endless Supply
Family
February 2, 2009
Near the end of 2004 our family suffered from divorce and our lives were torn apart. Everything Matt had known in his 17 years of marriage and everything I had known in my 16 years of marriage crumbled into pieces.
When divorce happens each married partner shoulders the blame, no one is perfect and there are many things that contribute to the dissolve of a marriage. In all cases it’s the children who are scarred most deeply. Our experience was no different.
For Matt and I our paths came together in 2005 through mutual friends and love and understanding was planted and began to grow. All throughout our courtship we submitted our relationship to God even to the point where we agreed to be apart for a time in the beginning to wait upon God and give ourselves time to get our bearings.
At other times we agreed in prayer that if God did not want us together that he would break us up. We had both been married and knew the depth of what we were entering into. We knew that it would take more than "love" to hold us together…we would need God, true Love, in the center to navigate the waters ahead.
In October of 2005 we felt confident that the Lord had brought us together and we married. We knew it would be difficult as the odds were stacked against us and we had an insurmountable task ahead of us putting two families of deeply hurt children together. Danni was 16, Jessi was 12 and Atlee was 7 at the time. Matt has two children, Mallorie 17 and Wesley 15; these were their ages when we were married.
Step parenting as many of you know is a tremendous challenge. There are so many elements that come into play that don’t exist in a first marriage family. I won’t take time to go into these now but I would like to express that it can also be very rewarding.
Something happed to our family through the time of Danni’s illness, we came together. While the circumstances were very bad God brought good to us and our children. It was a beautiful thing to watch as our children matured and saw what was really important in life. They were changed forever in a positive way.
Last week we took all our children to Florida for a vacation and God did an even deeper work of reconciliation in our family bringing us together. It has been three years since Matt and I were married and we have had enormous mountains and deep valleys to cross and I’m sure that we still have more to walk through but we have also experienced great joy and healing thanks to the Grace of God.
I want to encourage those of you today who may be walking in a second or third marriage with stepchildren that God can work in your circumstances if you surrender to him.
I also want to encourage those of you who may be toying with the idea of divorce to step back check your motives, go to God and ask him to show you the truth about yourself and take a second look into the faces of your children because they will be the ones left spinning in your wake. It is a very painful thing for all parties involved. I know why God hates divorce. (Malachi 2:13-16)
I also understand that there are times and circumstances that divorce cannot be avoided. I am in no way judging any situation I am in no position to do so but I know that when I turn to God he has always been there for me and if you turn to him he will be there for you too.
I think most times we have to suffer things in life to gain understanding of life. Hebrews 5:8 (NIV) says that, “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.” This scripture is speaking of Jesus, why do we think that we will not have to endure suffering? Why are we so surprised when it comes to us?
Danni taught me to “trust God and never give up” her words exactly. I have suffered much in this life but every time God has taken my hand as he did for Danni and walked me through the valley only to come out in victory on the other side. He will continue to walk with me till the end of my journey, God is faithful!
Give your life to him today and he will be a rock in the deepest, darkest moments of life. Trouble in life is guaranteed at some point and time for all of us. Jesus is the way through those times if you want to come out on the other side a better person. I’m speaking from experience.
Father, I know you put this on my heart today for someone, speak to their hearts and I pray they would not harden their heart toward you. I ask that they would be able to surrender themselves to you wholly and that they would cling to you. Strengthen them in their time of need. Encourage their hearts today that you see their situation and you are close to them even if they cannot “feel” your presence.
I know your love, grace, mercy and compassion for them as I have experienced it myself. Pour out your kindness upon them; bring peace and release to their spirits. Thank you Father Amen.
Songs of Deliverance
January 23, 2009
Sometimes I forget what I am here to do, what my purpose is in this life and I get all wrapped up in the events of the day. I had some errands to run the other day and I was in a hurry because I had an appointment and I wanted to get the errands accomplished before my meeting.
In my rush it didn’t even cross my mind that it was Martin Luther King Day and the main place I had to go was closed in the observance of this special day. I drove over there with so many thoughts of things I wanted to get done that I almost got in a wreck! That didn’t stop me I was a woman on a mission! Have you ever been there?
All around me nature was singing its heart out the trees were covered with a thick frost from a heavy fog that had lingered over them early that morning. They were radiant with the Glory of God blanketing their branches, white and sparkling like diamonds.
Gently he sang to me over and over again on the way with each tree and the beauty of the day. Finally, after I figured out that it was a holiday and I wouldn’t be able to do the “most important” task it was if God shook me and said, “Hello, anyone home?” and I realized what had happened. It was at that point that I repented and slowed myself to actually enjoy what I was witnessing.
God was surrounding me with songs of deliverance, His Glory covering the earth and I almost missed it. What a wonderful God we have, I love his word. Psalm 32:7 says, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah” Selah means to pause and think about what has just been said.
I had a “Selah” moment as I stopped the car on a dirt road and as I rolled my window down to take some pictures I listened to the silence and peace that the beauty around me displayed. I received it as a gift of God’s love to me who had kept me safe through the whole ordeal…he never gave up on me he kept singing and singing until he broke through to me.
Psalm 13:5&6 says, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” This is my purpose to sing and praise God for the rest of eternity in all the things I do and say to everyone I meet showing them the way to hear the songs of deliverance that surround them that they may be able to hear. Selah.
Father, today I pray that your love will blanket everyone who reads this and cover them in white and shining diamonds so that the world may see your glory and come to know you and accept you as their Savior. May they experience your songs of deliverance today. Amen.
Happy 20th Danni!!
January 21, 2009
Happy Birthday Sharky! I miss you so much. I was thinking this morning about the time I first held you in my arms. I was so amazed at what had just happened. My life had changed forever and like so many times before since you came to me my life is changed again.
I remember the day I took you to church in your pretty little dress and held you again in my arms before God and dedicated you to Him. You were his from the beginning as you are his now.
I remember birthday parties every year, cake on your face and in your hair, when you were younger of course :) and as you grew I watched you mature.
Strong, beautiful and very independent...I don't know the exact day you had that experience with God where you saw your need for Him and you stood on your own before Him and asked Him to come into your life but you dedicated yourself to Him and for this I am eternally grateful.
Such peace I saw in you, such grace, such mercy and love...you were my child but you were my teacher. I know if you were here and you could speak you'd tell everyone you knew to give their lives as you have done. To come to Jesus and find rest for their soul, peace for their spirit and everlasting joy for their heart.
I know you are part of that great cloud of witnesses the word speaks of and you are watching me now, cheering me on, cheering us all on. Sing with the angels my beautiful girl.
I love you so much...Mom
Cuddle Up!
January 19, 2009
Seems like every time I sit down our old cat wants to be on my lap or lying up against me. I’ve also noticed that she has found a warm spot on the floor in front of the kitchen sink. There is a heat duct there and it is always a very toasty spot.
With the arctic cold we’ve had even our younger cat doesn’t want to go out all night like he is accustom to doing. He doesn’t like all the snow sticking to his thick fur. I’ve been the same way though; I just want to cuddle up with a nice warm blanket and cup of coffee.
I was spending time with the Lord the other day when he took me to Proverbs chapter 2 and as I read verse 6 really stood out to me. It says, “For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” As I thought about this another scripture came to mind from Revelation 3:15-21, this is where the Lord is speaking to the Church of Laodicea.
He tells them that he has seen all their deeds but that they are lukewarm towards him and he is about to spit them out of his mouth. This sparked an interest in me and I went to my favorite online bible study place and typed in the word “mouth”…I wanted to see what all the mouth of God had in it.
There are a lot of “mouth” references in the bible but the two biggest associated with God that I could see were concerning His Word and fire. (Job 41:14, 19, 21, PS 18:8, PS 33:6, Matt 4:4). In such cold, dark times that we are in I think it wise for those of us who love and follow Jesus to stay by the fire of God reading and absorbing his Word like never before.
I think this is his message to me and all who call themselves believers to come to him and ask him to stoke the fire within us, to stir us up and thaw us out bringing us back to our first love for him. We need his wisdom, knowledge and understanding, it’s the only way to make it to the finish line victorious.
I found myself asking God for these very things, I drew near to him and he drew near to me (James 4:8) I don’t want to be spat out of the mouth of the Lord, I need him. Take time to cuddle up with God today and read his word; ask him for wisdom, knowledge and understanding and for his fire to bring you back to your first love for him.
He misses you.
Frozen Pipes
January 16, 2009
Matt discovered that we had frozen pipes this morning when he went to take a shower. In all the years we’ve lived here we’ve never had a frozen pipe in that bathroom. All the plans changed and everything had to come out of the closet that was in the way so that my brave hubby could crawl behind the wall to thaw them.
This had to be made a priority before they burst and sent water spewing everywhere. We scrambled to quickly and quietly take care of the problem so that we didn’t wake the household. With the mission accomplished, Matt got ready to go to work and I put the rest of the things back into the closet. I found my “Complete Jewish Bible” amidst the items strewn on the floor and I decided to take it downstairs and read it.
As I read Psalms 23, I was struck by the words in verse 4… “Even if I pass through death-dark ravines, I will fear no disaster; for you are with me; your rod and staff reassure me.” (Complete Jewish Bible version). Even though we went through trial this morning the Lord was there and we didn’t need to fear the disaster .
We will never know what the Lord protected us from and what seemed like a huge inconvenience may have been God’s vehicle of salvation! God always has our best in mind even when we face trials of many kinds… the Bible even says we should rejoice! (1Peter 1:6)
If you feel like God is disciplining you this morning be reassured by his rod and staff that he is there and has a good purpose for the things which you are enduring. But watch how you handle yourself…because He is watching and waiting to see if what he has taught you has been learned by you. He wants you to succeed and the only way to do that is to turn to him.
He will give you the answers to the trial you’re facing. We have the Word of God the “text book” at our disposal any time of day and it’s an open book test! We also have a direct line to the throne room of God into which the Bible says we may come with confidence. (Heb 4:16) All this we have available to us but how many times do I try to handle things on my own?
Father, I need you…I come with confidence into your throne room, before your throne and I ask that you help me with any and every trial I will face today and in the future. I want to bring glory to you and not dishonor your name. Help me to immediately turn to you when I feel the flood waters rising. Thank you for your faithfulness to be there and save me time and time again.
Thanks for helping us with the pipes today and sparing us from what the enemy had planned.
I love you, Jesus…Amen.
Ten Minas
January 11, 2009
If you want to see where I’m coming from read Luke 19:11-27.
If you are alive there is no doubt in my mind you will find yourself among these 4 kinds of people. Step back from yourself and ask the Lord to show you who you are because it is easy to deceive ourselves (Romans 12:3, 1 John 1:8).
Father, open our eyes to see where we honestly fit into this important parable. Amen
On the way to Jerusalem it says that the people had one thing in mind that the kingdom was going to appear at once. But Jesus had other thoughts and he told them a story to illustrate to them what was more important.
The first group of people we see are those who (vs. 14) hated the king and didn’t want him to rule over them, these are the ones who want to do everything their way, they don’t need God. We’ll see later in the text what happens to them.
The second person is the one entrusted with 10 minas. This is a servant of the king that receives all God (the king) has for him and puts it to work for God investing it in others. In order for this servant and the next to cause the minas to increase they had to invest in another. They had to trust someone else with what they had been given to receive a return.
The third person is entrusted with 5 minas. He doesn’t have as much as the 10 mina servant but it’s not about the amount that is entrusted to the servant but what the servant does with what God (the king) gave him. I see a good attitude in this servant, he doesn’t compare himself with the 10 mina servant he just does the best he can with what he’s been given and he is rewarded with a 100 fold return just like the 10 mina servant!
The last person is the servant who is motivated by fear. This is a judgmental person. This servant judged his master unfairly. He was critical of things he knew nothing about. I say this because of the response of the king in verse 22.
In the end, that servant lost everything and it was given to the one who had the ten minas (vs.24). The first group who wanted nothing to do with the king were brought before the king and killed (vs.27). This is a warning to those who don’t think they need Jesus.
I find that this passage is more about attitudes of the heart than what they had been given or not given. Faithfulness is what God is looking for in all of those who serve him and there is a reward for this…look at verse 17. Jesus says that these were “very small matters” and because they were faithful in the “small” things the servants who were faithful were given cities to rule over in accordance with what they were first entrusted.
I think that at least one or more times in everyone’s lives they have found themselves in one or more of these positions. I had to repent of a judgmental, critical attitude myself. But if you see yourself there remember that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) we are all learning as we go… just repent, receive God’s forgiveness and go on! Ask the Lord to help you, thank him for revealing your heart to you so that you can be cleansed of these things and learn from your mistakes.
If you have not received Jesus as your Savior, ask him to come into your life, repent of your sins as well and receive him as your only hope of survival. We will all stand before a righteous God and no one will be good enough, only Jesus. He is our attorney, if you will, and I’m going to need a good one!
Jesus the Triumphant!
January 7, 2009
The alarm went off this morning to one of my favorite songs, Mighty to Save, this song grabs me and causes me to worship with passion every time I hear it. The truth in it is so powerful! I went downstairs to spend some time asking the Lord what he had to say today and he took me to Mark 11.
What a picture…Jesus rides into town on a donkey and the crowd goes wild. As I read the Lord began to reveal some things to me.
Mark 11:1-10
And when they drew near to Jerusalem, to Bethpage and Bethany, toward the Mount of Olives, He sent two of His disciples, and He said to them, “Go into the village opposite you. And going into it at once, you will find a colt tied, on which no one of men has sat. Untying it, bring it. And if anyone says to you, ‘Why do you do this?’ say, ‘The Lord has need of it,’ and he will at once send it here.”
And they departed and found the colt tied at the door outside, by the crossway; and they untied it. And some of those standing there said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt? And they said to them as Jesus commanded. And they let them go. And they led the colt to Jesus. And they threw their garments on it, and He sat on it.
And many spread their garments on the highway, and others were cutting branches from the trees and were spreading them on the highway. And those going before, and those following after, were crying out, saying, “Hosanna! Blessed is the One coming in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!”
In my study of these scriptures I went to the Strongs Concordance Interlinear Bible that I found on the shelf, I must have picked it up on sale somewhere as it has a sticker on it that says $12.88. Oh if the world only knew the value of the things printed inside!
Anyways, in verse 1 looking at the words Bethphage literally in the Greek “ house” and Bethany meaning “date-house.” Jesus had a date to keep at this house; he was right on time with what God had planned.
Verse 2: “The colt on which no one of men has sat…” Only Jesus could sit on this new thing (the colt) that he was doing, He was in the place of authority and the new thing that was happening would be dictated by the Father’s will. There would be no bucking! I think it very symbolic also that his disciples were commanded to bring the colt to him.
How awesome that Jesus would give them a part in all that he was doing confirming his power to them just as he does us. We are the “donkey” he uses to make an impact on the people around us.
Verse 3, 5& 6: “Why do you do this?”… People will always question you when you attempt to do something for God. You can be confident of that because he asks us to do things out of the norm, out of the box. But Jesus told them how to handle these hurdles. He told them to tell the people that the Lord has need of it. The Lord is in control and if he tells you to do something he will provide all you need and it will be released to you. He will provide IF he has asked you to do it!
Verse 4: “The colt was tied at the door, outside by the crossway”… Here was this new thing God was doing tied by the door at a fork in the road. How profound. The colt was waiting at the entry (the door) and at a turning point in the road. A clear “road sign” that something awesome what about to occur.
Verse 7: “…they threw their garments on the colt…” Those clothes were important to them. These were the clothes that covered their flesh and He sat upon them…symbolically ruling over the flesh.
Verse 8: “…Many spread their garments on the highway…” Many were moved in their hearts to give the valuable thing to him, to give their all and to proclaim him as King over them but others cut branches from the trees, they weren’t going to go so far as to offer this man all that they had.
Verse 9: Regardless of where they were in their walk with him some in front of him and some behind they cried out! Literally according to the Strongs O save! Blessed is the One coming in position in authority and character with supreme authority! (Strongs numbers 2127, 2064, 1722, 3686 & 2962)
Verse 10: Blessed is the coming royalty, rule, realm into position in authority and character, with supreme authority, of our father David. O save in the heavens most supreme God! (Strongs number 2127, 2064, 932, 1722, 3686, 2962, 3962, 2257, 1138, 5614, 1722, & 5310)
Interestingly enough they speak of David as their father and not Abraham. David was a man after God’s own heart and the work that Jesus does in us makes us to be like the Father.
This whole scene is a clear proclamation before the literal fulfillment came in the natural that is before Christ was crucified and raised from the dead delivering us all to be like him in his kingdom in a position of authority with him. But we have to lay down our “coats”, our fleshly ways and give it all to Jesus the King of Glory to ride, rule, and reign upon.
I don’t know whether or not the people understood politically or spiritually what they were proclaiming but either way they were proclaiming exactly who Jesus was and exactly what he was sent to do! There has to be a proclamation of faith before the Lord moves in the natural. Over and over again in Genesis 1 the scripture says, “And God said….and it was so”.
The picture of the triumphant entry is so beautiful, so full of deep meaning and it seems that every word speaks more just under the surface.
Father, today I lay down myself, my “coat”, and all things valuable to me for you to rule over. Show me what my proclamation is today; show me what you want to teach me about speaking in faith those things that are not yet made known in the natural.
O SAVE! Supreme God! Take the place of authority in my life, rule and reign over every word, over every thought. I submit to your authority use me to the fullest to proclaim your Glory and help us see who you are and our desperate need for you. To you be the Glory…Amen!
A View from the Red Chair by Penny Shrock
The red chair, given as a thoughtful, loving gift for Danni, became a place of rest and comfort to those who came and went from Danni’s room. It has an inviting shape with fur upholstery that is irresistible to touch.
I believe there might be 101 and 1 positions in which you could find to sleep on that chair.
I think Danni must have found it funny just observing the old ladies, twisted and folded trying to find rest while on loving watch with Danni. More important than the rest that was found on the chair were the amazing observations from it. These are the observations of one of Danni’s admirers;
I watched, feeling helpless to offer any help to the situation.
I watched as Christy administered love and medicine-always with patience and tenderness.
I watch as Kent and Alicia came to love on Danni.
I watched as Matt, otherwise known as the McMuffin to Danni, would pray and read scripture to her.
I watched as her brothers and sisters would go about their lives but still drift in and out of the room, sweetly checking on her.
I prayed as I laid on the Chair, “God, please bring her comfort and relief”.
We laughed- ohhhh how we laughed.
I gave thanks from the chair as Danni’s sense of humor would fill the room.
Thank you God for the trip to Cedar Point. The shopping trip, the car rides all taken with Danni while we sat in the chair. Thank you God for all the sweet “Here we goes” that came from her lips. I watched as Danni had a fencing Match with Grandpa Allen, until she muttered, “no fencing in the house.” And let’s not forget the Laser eyes!! Danni would flash a little grin when she would stun a visitor with her laser eyes.
Thank you for the sight of Danni’s hand raised in the air, and her response when asked if she was okay, “yep….. I’m just dancing”.
I was blessed to rise from the chair and help lovingly to move her legs whenever they were trapped and to put her oxygen back in place.
My heart broke as I listened to her pray for God to help her.
In all of this she would continually offer “”thank you. And would worry about her family.
I learned that Danni had amazing friends, and the most wonderful neighbors.
I learned from that chair that with God’s help we can endure the seemingly impossible, that He is truly with us when we walk through the fire.
I learned that we old ladies need a lot of sleep or we get rather silly at 3 am.
I learned that grandma and grandpas have the tenderest hearts in the universe.
I learned that my faith is not diminished nor defined by what God chooses to do.
I learned that I serve an overwhelmingly huge God, beyond my understanding.
I know that for the days to come he will sweetly reveal many more views from the red chair.
Danni and Jesus, what a thanksgiving!!!! While we dined on our turkey and gravy, Danni dined with the King!!!
Thank you God for the privilege to spend time in the red chair. Thank you for your kindness to all who spent time there. Continue to bless Danni’s family, give them Grace in the days ahead. Thank you so much for the Gift of Danni. I sure loved her while she was here. I can’t wait to meet her in heaven, and have her grab my hand and with a grin say
“here we go.”
Relax and Enjoy
January 2, 2009
Ecclesiastes 5:18 (Message version)
After looking at the way things are on this earth, here's what I've decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that's about it. That's the human lot.
5:19
Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what's given and delighting in the work. It's God's gift!
5:20
God deals out joy in the present, the now. It's useless to brood over how long we might live.
As I looked over Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 this morning I had so many questions in my heart. Why here? Why did you lead me here? How can I relay what this scripture says to people in this economy who may not even have a job?
After I thought about this scripture for a while, I realized that it wasn’t so much about having a job and enjoying that job as it was the accepting your lot in life and being satisfied with what God has given you and where God has put you. It is also thinking about the present joys that God has given you so that we don’t get all caught up in how long we may or may not live.
I don’t know what it is about me that makes me always think about living somewhere warm or having more things. Ecclesiastes says these things are meaningless. I have had thoughts like, “Is this all there is to this life, eating, working, sleeping, eating, working, sleeping, and laundry every now and then.” These scriptures seem to indicate… yep, that’s pretty much it better enjoy it while you can.
I’m wondering if I have ever just accepted that this could be it for me. Living where I live, doing what I do and then dying someday. Acceptance must be the key to enjoying life. Maybe God won’t change any of our circumstances until we learn to enjoy where he’s put us and trust that he knows best even if we stay where we are for the rest of our lives.
Father, help me to just relax and enjoy the life you’ve given me. Help me to stop thinking of all the possibilities of life and just take joy in the moment accepting all that you’ve given me. Thank you for giving me the ability to put life into eternal perspective and help me not get so caught up in all the details, trusting that you will put me where I need to be for whatever your reasons and I can trust you.
I am coming to see more and more that there is no hurry to life, that enjoying every moment is important and that I can rest in the assurance of the salvation given me by my loving Lord taking all the time I need to get to know him and his ways.
Help me to remember your words when the time of testing comes, Jesus. I love you Lord. Thank you for your peace. Amen.
No One Like Our God!!
December 31, 2008
GOD I PRAISE YOU! THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU!!! WORTHY! WORTHY! WORTHY! WORTHY! WORTHY! Thank you Lord for bringing us through the fire, through the waters, through the flood safely to the other shore and into a new land! Amen! Amen! Amen!
Close your eyes because the video doesn't match very well and just let the words sink in! This is Kelanie Gloeckler and her CD Brave New Worship is awesome!!
BE....Attitudes
December 29, 2008
Yesterday morning during our bible study we looked at the BE….Attitudes, those characteristics that Jesus said we should have if we want to be blessed. We had fun as a family discussing what all this means. I particularly like how the Message puts it.
Matthew 5
You're Blessed
1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
I really could identify with the verses 3 & 4. Man, if I could tell people one thing it is that the Word of God is true! So true! When all there is to go on is God you can really see him move! He embraces you, he surrounds you and delivers you out of situations that would crush most. God is reliable! He is real!
He has so much love and grace and mercy that he’s just bursting, he can’t help himself…he has to give it! It has nothing to do with our deserving it! It’s about God!
Verse 5 is something I’m still learning. Not to worry what others think of me and just be who I am in God. I don’t want to be swayed or moved by anyone’s opinion.
Verse 6 makes me think of a vision I had once of a long table stretching so far you can’t see the end of it and it was set with the finest of place settings. But the table was empty, there was no one interested enough to sit down and eat and drink.
A few days before Danni passed away I had a this same vision of the table only she sat across from me in a beautiful white garment with a sparkling crown on her head.
Jesus sat at the head of the table and we all held hands. Twice in the day this vision came to me out of the blue. I told no one of what I had seen and at the end of that day I was led to pray with Danni, it was one of her last cognizant moments. She couldn’t talk much but as we prayed she said, “Table”.
I asked her if she saw a table and she replied, “Yes”. I asked her if she was sitting at a table and she said, “Yes”. She then proceeded to say, “He’s going to shut up the table,” and I said, “No! The table must be filled with souls!” and she agreed.
The Lord says to pray to him while he can be found (PS 32:6) and that he prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies (PS 23:5). Folks this table exists and it there for all who call upon the Lord to eat and drink of him. My prayer is that he makes us all hungry and thirsty for his righteousness and allows us to see what deliquesces are put before us .
Verse 7 speaks of sowing and reaping. Verse 8 speaks of the work of the Spirit in our hearts and minds. In verse 9, Jesus is saying you are all of one body, GET ALONG! (This is my paraphrase).
Verses 10, 11 and 12 have to do with the persecutions that we WILL suffer on his behalf and the rewards that come with doing so. I think that if there are no persecutions in our lives we aren’t getting it right! It may be time to go to the table with God and say, "What is it that needs to change in me." And, "Lord change me!"
When you pray this way, expect tribulation to come to you but don’t fear it rather embrace it as the tool in God’s hand that is doing the work in you. Praise him for it! Count it all joy, not that you have to be all giggly about it but have peace during the trial knowing that God has answered your prayers and you will be forever changed! Amen!
One Month Today
December 27, 2008
Hey Danni-
It’s been a month today since you’ve gone to be with Jesus. I sure miss you but I’m glad you’re home safe. A lot has happened since you’ve been gone and a lot just went back to normal.
Jessi and Atlee are doing fine; they spent all day after Christmas building this roller coaster toy while Matt and I put a new storm door on the front of the house. So many people came to see you and help us that the old hinges just couldn’t take it anymore! What a wonderful situation! We had fun working together, Matt and me.
I hope you don’t mind I went through your room and through your clothes and got them ready for someone who is in need just like you requested. We also went and ordered you a beautiful memorial stone that the man will come and install in the spring.
A boy died in our community, it was a sledding accident. His parents are friends of mine and we went to school together, if you haven’t met him maybe you could look him up and show him around I’m sure you have heaven down pat by now. Or maybe not it’s I imagine it's probably a pretty big place.
Your room is a mess, bags of clothes here and there and your pictures are still sitting out. I hope you’re not upset with me but I read your journal. I was so blessed by the gift you left me. The gift of your words, words of thankfulness and kindness and concern for others. It’s so neat to see your hand writing.
I kept your lamby slippers you loved so much for me and when I wear them I feel you near.
It’s so hard to believe you are gone. My sweet Sharky. I have so many memories of you making me laugh. They overshadow the dark and painful ones; it seems they are connected to them for the sole purpose of helping me to get through them.
You can never know how you impacted my life and so many others. Now you are part of that great “cloud of witnesses” the word speaks of in Hebrews 12:1. I want to throw off those things that hinder like you did and finish the race before me with perseverance. You are such an inspiration to me. Now whenever things get hard I know that I will make it just like you did. Turning to God, never giving up, and trusting in Him with my whole heart in any and every situation I encounter.
I press on just like you would have if the situation had been reversed and my life is forever changed and strengthened because of the work I saw accomplished in you.
Life is quiet now. I’ve been planning that trip to the beach we were going to take when you got better, Lord willing we should be able to go for your birthday. Now you’re better so we can go and I know you’ll be with us there.
I’m doing fine, just like I told you I would. I love you Danni. I’ll see you soon.
Love,
Mom
Haw-weh-ooo-yah!
December 21, 2008
The day before Danni died many things transpired; one thing I remember is that she began to sing. Her song was beautiful. Through the medication fog she sang, “Haw-weh-ooo-yah, haw-weh-ooo-yah, haw-weh-ooo-yah,” over and over she sang these words, pure hallelujahs from her heart to her King.
This morning as I lay in bed thinking of her I heard her sing again, clear as the wind whirling around the house, “haw-weh-ooo-yah, haw-weh-ooo-yah,” I can hear it in my heart as I write. I feel her close to me today, I know she’s gone but she’s close. Pure and sweet, I hear her and tears of joy streamed down my cheeks.
I know where she is, I don’t have to worry.
I was thinking about Luke 21 this morning. “When will these things happen? And what will be the sign that they are about to take place?” was the question the disciples had for Jesus on this particular day (Luke 21:7). He answered them with several things to look for such as:
Those coming in his name claiming, ‘I am he, and, ‘the time is near.’ (vs. 8) Revolutions, nations rising against nations, kingdoms against kingdoms, (vs. 9-10), great earthquakes, famines and pestilence in various places, fearful events and great signs from heaven. (vs. 11)
We will be persecuted and betrayed by close family members, we will be witnesses for him and he will give us words to speak to those who do these things to us, men will hate us because of Jesus but we will not perish if we stand firm. (Paraphrase of Luke 21: 12-19).
Jerusalem will be surrounded by armies and scripture says “…you will know that it’s desolation is near…” It goes on to instruct us as to what we should do at that time…FLEE to the mountains! (vs. 20-21) There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars, we will be perplexed at the roaring and tossing of the sea, men will faint from terror. (vs. 25-26)
What does this have to do with Danni’s song? Look at verse 28 of Luke 21 “When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.” I love that! Danni sang when she saw her redemption drawing near.
I wonder if she saw Jesus coming on the clouds for her, if she heard the angels singing and sang along with them. For all the doom and gloom of this scripture, there is hope, hallelujah! There is hope!
Later on in that same scripture Jesus warns us to be careful not to let our hearts be weighed down with “dissipation (breaking up and scattering by dispersion, dissalolute: indulgence in sensual pleasure, useless or profitless activity), drunkenness and the anxieties of life..” because “it will come upon all who live on the face of the whole earth.” (vs. 34-35)
Jesus last words in this scripture are this in verse36, “Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”
I’m not even going to pretend that I know where we are in the scheme of things but these last words ring in my ears like the sweet “haw-weh-ooo-yahs” of my daughter and I want to be able to stand before the Son of Man (JESUS) with as pure a heart as she did.
Father, help me not be off my guard for one minute and when you come I pray you would find faithfulness in me, I pray for myself and all I love that we would be able to escape all that is about to happen. Thank you Father that you delivered Danni safely home! I praise you! I praise you!
Be with us and make us very aware of your presence with us today. Where I have sinned, I ask your forgiveness and that you would cleanse me with your precious blood once again. For those who don’t know you but are called according to your purpose I pray for salvation to come quickly to them so that they may be watchful as well.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, I sing with Danni, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah….come quickly Lord Jesus! Amen.
Busy, Busy, Busy...
December 16, 2008
I feel like a blank page eagerly awaiting the Master’s pen, I try to busy myself with Christmas preparation but everything seems meaningless. I feel as if I’m awake and the whole world is asleep maybe it’s because everyone is sleeping here. I’m stirred in my spirit.
An old lady came up to me in the store I was in today and asked me to tell her the way to get out of there. I wasn’t sure where she wanted to go and she seemed confused, was she all alone? What was she doing out by herself? I pointed her to the nearest exit and she muttered something as she walked away from me toward the doors to the outside.
Why do thoughts of her stir me when I should be sleeping? Was she an angel in disguise? Did I do enough for her? Why did she pick me? I had my back to her, she couldn’t see if I was good or bad, kind or cross. Did I entertain an angel unaware?
I feel the presence of God as I write. He’s upon me, what is it he wants to say? What does he want me to write?
How many times have I had encounters with people who need my help but I was too busy to pull myself away from my selfish desires? Isn’t that one of the “biggy” commands that Jesus left us with? The command to love our neighbor as ourselves is what I’m referring to.
Angel or human that lady was a divine encounter today, those are the happenings that make you wonder. They grab your attention and make you think inside. It’s like God shakes you and says, “Wake up! Get your focus off of yourself! Be ready, you never know what I will require and what moment I will require it! Be ready!”
The world seems to be on a downward spiral. Take one look at the news and you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see that maybe, just maybe, a higher power is trying to get our attention. There are more important things in life than our favorite TV shows, just the right clothes or foods.
What can I do? What is it that you want me to do, God? I feel so different inside, everything has changed for me. I’m so tired of the mundane do this do that that doesn’t make a hill of beans. Frivolous busy work, I’m sick to death of it. We run here and there like headless chickens trying to accomplish who knows what to live up to the expectations that someone else has put on us.
You have to mourn this way; this is what mourning looks like. You have to go to church this way and do what is expected because that’s what it looks like. You have to do, do, do because that’s what being a follower of Christ is, that’s how it’s done.
Martha ran around all concerned about the details, she couldn’t figure out why Mary wasn’t responding to her expectations! Jesus said to her in Luke 10: 41-42…”Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.”
In all this busyness did it ever occur to us that if we would take time to sit at Jesus feet and be totally caught up with him and his word that we would have a far more peaceful and productive life?
What if just for one day we stopped the crazy busyness and defied the expectations of everyone. There is no doubt it would be a fight, we would have to radically focus on God. No time is always the excuse but all we have is time and it’s swirling down like a sink full of water with the drain plug taken out.
We are headed at breakneck speed for eternity and all we can think about is how to make ourselves acceptable to the rest of the human race all the while ignoring the Creator of the Universe who holds all of time in his hand.
Is anyone else awake? Does anyone hear me? Maybe this is just for me.
How do we live life here on earth knowing that eternity awaits us? How can the insignificant things of this world possibly hold our attention when the God of the Universe stands face to face with us?
I feel so small. I’m so foolish. Forgive me Lord.
My meeting today with the little old lady was a sign from heaven; “LOOK UP” said the sign. “There’s more to life than this, don’t let man’s expectations take from you the ONLY THING THAT’S NEEDED, THE BETTER CHOICE.
Take the seat at the feet of the one who holds eternity in his hands. He can show us how to do the will of the Father if only we will stop and take time to let him.
Praises Along the Way--Precious Memories
December 11, 2008
I sat in Danni’s room with my bowl of cereal; the light from the window shone through my bowl and left diamonds of light for our cat to chase around the room. I know, cheap entertainment, but it made for an amusing breakfast.
The house is quiet, my mom has gone home and life has returned to normal, whatever that is and I can’t help thinking about the future, what does it hold for me? What will God have me to do next? I can think of a million things I need to do here at our home but what does he want me to do, what is it he’s calling me to, where is he working?
I want to be like Jesus and work where I see my Father working, but what? Where? I’m seeking him for the answers to these questions.
Memories of Danni are everywhere; she’s still here in the objects she used, in the things she created and in our hearts. She was so precious. I read a psalm that made me think of her today. I could see the body of this man who was speaking, David; wasting away…he is literally dying here. He speaks of his sin being the reason for his condition but I don’t believe that part is like Danni. Psalm 38 is what I’m referring to.
I am amazed at how it so accurately describes the death process I saw firsthand in Danni. I wonder did she feel the way David did in verses 21-22? O Lord, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior.
What a privilege to be there to bring her into the world and be there when she left, at her side stroking her arm and praying for her. I remember she opened her eyes a bit to look at me and then the next time I looked they were closed and her body took two more breathes but her spirit had already gone.
I heard in me, “Mom, I’m gonna go now,” I said in my spirit, “Go ahead, I’ll see ya later, go and be at peace.” That was the end. I shall never forget that holy moment. I took the oxygen off of her body and shut off the machine. I wept… all those months of struggle came out in a single moment. It was so surreal to see her laying there lifeless.
I kissed her on the cheek several times as I had before in life, she was out of pain the fight was over and she had come into a marvelous light. I am so happy for her. I am so blessed by God’s answer to our prayers. I know this sounds so strange coming from a mother who has lost her child but you never can know these feelings until you’ve been there.
I had 19 years to know her, what a blessing. Don’t take your loved ones for granted, invest time and love into them so you can have a life of no regrets. Don’t hold grudges against your loved ones, life is too short. Love them, love them, love them, no matter what!
Danni said in her journal, "I was so young and dumb. But I swore that I knew best...yeah right...I'm sorry to my mom the most...Ugh, I was an idiot. I can't believe she never gave up. I hurt her over and over again. But she still loved me. So cool and now she's taking such good care of me...I broke her heart cuz I thought I knew...I'm sorry."
Parents hang in there it is so worth it! They will see it some day. I know it gets tough especially with teens but actions speak volumes to them.
God’s word to us today is from Psalm 37:3-7a…Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…
Days Turn into a Week
December 6, 2008
It's hard to believe it has been more than a week since Danni is gone. Time goes so quickly. Matt, the children and I are doing well. Slowly we've taken care of the flowers and straightened Danni's room.
It's nice to be able to go and be where she was whenever I'm missing her. It's the little things that I see that make me think of her. I opened the freezer yesterday and there were her favorite vegan sandwiches and her little frozen things of spaghetti sauce that I had stored away for her whenever she had a craving for a small bowl of spaghetti.
Or her shirt laying on the folding counter in the laundry room that makes me miss her. Our lives have gone back to what was before and it seems that Danni is just away at college.
I was painting my bedroom yesterday, my friends know that painting is my way of clearing my head and thinking through things, I bet our walls have 100 coats of paint on them. I had been wanting to paint our bedroom since we switched with Danni.
I was listening to the radio and three songs came on right in a row that meant so much to me during Danni's illness one of them says this:
I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where I am and every tear I 've cried you hold in your hand, you never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.
I cried and lifted my hands to God and thanked him for being there and then I painted some more. There is another line in that same song that says:
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away...
Once again I praised him and cried. Danni was mine to look after until the day God required her to go home, that's how all of our children are to be to us. We are only entrusted with them for a short time but they are HIS.
The word says this in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
Because of Danni's faith in Jesus, we will see her again riding with him at the trumpet blast of his return if we are still alive to see it happen and if I have "fallen asleep" in death at that time I will be with them! There is no reason for me to grieve as one who has no hope, I have hope! Christ Jesus is my Hope!
It may sound simple and really it is! But it is the truth about the situation. Does it mean I won't have times of missing her? Obviously not, but the knowledge that I will see her again is a huge comfort that allows me to walk on in confidence.
Danni has graduated from the school of this life to heaven and all the angels rejoice! No more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears, no more putting antifreeze in her car in subzero weather, the list goes on and on :) Why would I wish her back? For what? To face death again at some point? To suffer some more?
No! There is no need to fall apart, there is HOPE!! HE LIVES and so does she and so do I! Hope lives in me! This same Hope lives in you if you have received Jesus as your Savior.
I know that Danni was very concerned about her friends. As I was reading through her journal she mentioned several times that partying and drinking was all that her friends thought about. She had resigned herself to be done with these things, she even said she was sick of these things, she said that cancer changes everything. She said that she was concerned about her friends, "don't they know?" was her response.
Life is short, come to Jesus and let him fill your life as Danni did.
Danni Celebration Video
Here is a video that was shown at Danni's Funeral. It is 13 minutes long and contains a bunch of snapshots from her life.
The First Day of Many
December 2, 2008
Today I checked on all of Danni's financial things that needed to be taken care of. The phone has rang and rang today with people asking how we are doing and businesses calling me back.
I can't bring myself to go through her things yet, maybe next week. Matty, Jessi and Atlee stayed home one more day before beginning the ordinary everydays again. Danni's dad came to divide the blanket gifts and flowers and plants. Many thanks to everyone for their loving generosity.
Mom is staying until next week some time but Dad will go home tomorrow. I feel like my mind is in neutral just coasting along not really motivated to do anything. The past ten months seem like a dream everything is so surreal.
I feel positive about the future but I'm not in so much of a hurry as I once was. Everything used to be rush, rush, rush but I intend to go at a slower pace and enjoy every bit of my children's lives and my own.
Going through something like this makes you very aware of life and every detail of it. I wonder what God has in store for me to do now, in a way it's exciting to think about what the future holds.
I will never forget the past, I miss her, I watched the video of her coloring several times today. What a beautiful gift I unknowingly gave to myself. God is so good he thinks of everything. That's it for now, one day down and who knows how many more to go.
Rejoice, Rejoice, and Again I Say Rejoice!
December 1, 2008
We had such a wonderful time yesterday, my brother-in-law worked all day on the video presentation while my friends and I went shopping for items that would personalize the casket piece.
It sounds strange but I think she would have been blessed as we remembered her every like and dislike carefully putting together the funeral to end all funerals! I wish.
We laughed and cried, my friends and family and I, we rejoiced and sang while Dad played the piano. My friend did Danni's "Red Chair" remembrance poster and we ate and enjoyed each other's company.
We took pictures of all the ladies who had given themselves fully to Danni's cause lovingly caring for her all these last months and weeks. What a blast to celebrate all that Danni was to each one of us!
I know it sounds strange but it really helped to ease the pain. I am very grateful for the blessed day's that the Lord has so generously poured out upon us as we prepare for the day of her body's departure.
Her spirit is secure! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Service Times
Both Services will be at:
Stone's Hill Community Church
151 West Stones Hill Rd.
Ligonier, IN 46767
Viewing Times: Sunday Nov. 30, 2pm-7pm
Service Time: Monday Dec. 1, 10 am
More info: www.yeagerfuneralhome.com
Memorials may be sent to:
Cancer Services of N.E. Indiana
6316 Mutual Dr.
Ft Wayne, IN 46825
All are welcome
Picture Request
November 28, 2008
If anyone has any pictures of Danni they would like to share at the funeral email them to her uncle please at:
landisln@yahoo.com As soon as possible please
Her Story Continues
November 27, 2008
The house is quiet. We've eaten our share of turkey and have had our naps. What do we do now? We move on putting one foot in front of the other, I feel the need to walk again. Walk through these days of grief and sorrow, love and laughter remembering Danni and allowing God to begin the healing in us now.
Tomorrow we will have a meeting with the funeral home and I will post the specifics for anyone who wishes to attend. All are welcome.
Thank you for all the beautiful thoughts and prayers. God hasn't let us down he has a bigger plan. I will continue to journal this journey to help bring healing to myself and others. This is simply a new chapter, one of grief and healing.
I am thankful today that Danni is in no pain, that she runs with the Father through green fields and cool streams. I am thankful for Jessi, Atlee, Mallorie and Wes. I'm thankful for wonderful friends who are willing to walk through fire with me!
I'm thankful for the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in me and picks me up to carry me during this time of sorrow, he is the one who guides me on. Jesus will sustain me.
He will carry me like a lamb over his shoulders, I am so thankful for that.
We are like iron that has been heated and shaped then plunged into water to bring strenghth to the shape only to be heated again and shaped again and plunged again until we are the perfect tool in the craftsman's hand. For this I am thankful.
Use me Lord. Use us Lord, further your kingdom...Amen.
3:30 AM Thanksgiving Day
Danni went with Jesus to a place better than here.
She went to sleep, peaceful sleep.
Current Condition
November 26, 2008
Danni is currently sleeping constantly. She was waking to my voice this morning but since about 11 am I cannot rouse her.
Her countenance is peaceful and she sleeps quietly which is a dramatic change from the last 2 or 3 days. She was constantly talking day and night and was very restless, so much so that medication didn't even seem to control it. Now, she is quiet.
With so many who love her here, her cheeks have been stroked and kissed a thousand times. I don't think a second goes by without someone touching her and speaking softly to her.
I'm so glad she's at home and we have been working so hard to take care of her. This is our reward to shower God's love over her as she sleeps waiting patiently for the Lord.
It is truly a beautiful and holy time.
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