The First Day of Many

December 2, 2008

Today I checked on all of Danni's financial things that needed to be taken care of. The phone has rang and rang today with people asking how we are doing and businesses calling me back.

I can't bring myself to go through her things yet, maybe next week. Matty, Jessi and Atlee stayed home one more day before beginning the ordinary everydays again. Danni's dad came to divide the blanket gifts and flowers and plants. Many thanks to everyone for their loving generosity.

Mom is staying until next week some time but Dad will go home tomorrow. I feel like my mind is in neutral just coasting along not really motivated to do anything. The past ten months seem like a dream everything is so surreal.

I feel positive about the future but I'm not in so much of a hurry as I once was. Everything used to be rush, rush, rush but I intend to go at a slower pace and enjoy every bit of my children's lives and my own.

Going through something like this makes you very aware of life and every detail of it. I wonder what God has in store for me to do now, in a way it's exciting to think about what the future holds.

I will never forget the past, I miss her, I watched the video of her coloring several times today. What a beautiful gift I unknowingly gave to myself. God is so good he thinks of everything. That's it for now, one day down and who knows how many more to go.


Anonymous said...

I have read your blog for some time now, but never commented. Your story is amazing, heart-wrenching, full of wisdom, joyful, etc. all at the same time. I can't even begin to imagine the ache and heartbreak you must feel right now along with joy that Danni is with her Maker and no longer in pain. My prayer for you is that God will fill that emptiness and surround you with an amazing amount of love and comfort beyond your comprehension.

Darla (Mast) Irick

Barb said...

My heart goes out to you and the family. Listen to your heart now, and just take one day at a time. With each day that passes it gets alittle easier. We never forget our loved one, we have wonderful memories that we made. Danni is so happy now and so free of her pain. She is smiling down at you with so much love. Danni had a heart of gold, it showed in her smile and her joking around with people. You couldn't help but love her as if she were your own. She really cared about others, even her last weeks and days she showed all of us the strength that she had. Her faith never once waivered. As I always have I come in here many times a day and read all the blogs over and over again. She gave us all so much joy. She was wise beyond her years. You raised a wonderful daughter who had so much strength and love for those around her. Maybe you should write a book about your 10 month journey of love and faith with Danni.

Barb Dunker

Anonymous said...

I turned to your site many times today hoping you would post something so I knew you were all OK. (Whatever OK means at this point) I know we all feel a loss, not like yours, but thanks for keeping us with you somehow. I think we have all turned to your site for so long in prayer we will feel lost also without it.

Anonymous said...

Danni's family:

I cannot imagine the many emotions you are feeling. I can only pray that God brings you comfort thru each & every one of them. Danni is truly happier & freer than any of us can even begin to comprehend...being with our Father in Heaven! Oh my word, the joy when I think of that makes my heart leap!!

But that still leaves those who loved her dearly here on earth with an emptiness that God, & those who surround you with love, will help you with. I have never been blessed with children of my own, so I cannot even start to feel what you as parents are going thru - but you are in my prayers daily.

I continue to come back to this site daily , just as I used to - to learn more about the life of Danni, to be encouraged, to keep my life in perspective, and see how I can pray for you & your family more specifically.

Thank you for keeping all of us so informed & up-to-date thru this trial you went thru.

P.S. - I like Barb's book idea!

Anonymous said...

I too have read Danni's story and am so touched by the courage and strength you all have drawn from our Heavenly Father. We all know that it could only have come from him. You all seem like such an amazing family and I too would love to hear how things go from here for you. You have had a wonderful story and I know there are many of us who not even knowing you have cried right along with you. Thank you so much for sharing some of your most inner and private thoughts with us. May God continue to bless your family.