Days Turn into a Week

December 6, 2008

It's hard to believe it has been more than a week since Danni is gone. Time goes so quickly. Matt, the children and I are doing well. Slowly we've taken care of the flowers and straightened Danni's room.

It's nice to be able to go and be where she was whenever I'm missing her. It's the little things that I see that make me think of her. I opened the freezer yesterday and there were her favorite vegan sandwiches and her little frozen things of spaghetti sauce that I had stored away for her whenever she had a craving for a small bowl of spaghetti.

Or her shirt laying on the folding counter in the laundry room that makes me miss her. Our lives have gone back to what was before and it seems that Danni is just away at college.

I was painting my bedroom yesterday, my friends know that painting is my way of clearing my head and thinking through things, I bet our walls have 100 coats of paint on them. I had been wanting to paint our bedroom since we switched with Danni.

I was listening to the radio and three songs came on right in a row that meant so much to me during Danni's illness one of them says this:

I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where I am and every tear I 've cried you hold in your hand, you never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.

I cried and lifted my hands to God and thanked him for being there and then I painted some more. There is another line in that same song that says:

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away...

Once again I praised him and cried. Danni was mine to look after until the day God required her to go home, that's how all of our children are to be to us. We are only entrusted with them for a short time but they are HIS.

The word says this in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

Because of Danni's faith in Jesus, we will see her again riding with him at the trumpet blast of his return if we are still alive to see it happen and if I have "fallen asleep" in death at that time I will be with them! There is no reason for me to grieve as one who has no hope, I have hope! Christ Jesus is my Hope!

It may sound simple and really it is! But it is the truth about the situation. Does it mean I won't have times of missing her? Obviously not, but the knowledge that I will see her again is a huge comfort that allows me to walk on in confidence.

Danni has graduated from the school of this life to heaven and all the angels rejoice! No more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears, no more putting antifreeze in her car in subzero weather, the list goes on and on :) Why would I wish her back? For what? To face death again at some point? To suffer some more?

No! There is no need to fall apart, there is HOPE!! HE LIVES and so does she and so do I! Hope lives in me! This same Hope lives in you if you have received Jesus as your Savior.

I know that Danni was very concerned about her friends. As I was reading through her journal she mentioned several times that partying and drinking was all that her friends thought about. She had resigned herself to be done with these things, she even said she was sick of these things, she said that cancer changes everything. She said that she was concerned about her friends, "don't they know?" was her response.

Life is short, come to Jesus and let him fill your life as Danni did.


Anonymous said...

I am so glad that we know Jesus and he loves us so much. This world would be completely unbearable if we didn't have Him. I am so thankful that Danni is with him now and has no more pain. Praise you Jesus.

Anniebella said...

Woo hoo! Rock on, painter babe. : )

Anonymous said...

We all agree with you! We miss our loved ones but know that they are with Jesus and no longer hurt. They are looking down on us and watching over us until its our time. I wish so much that you had your own I would love to hear your sermons. Amen!
You have helped so many of us see the light. Thank you!

Lori Bieber said...

I know this holiday is going to be a tough one, but know Danni is in heaven celebrating with you all. 6 years ago my dad passed away in Oct. and I wanted to cancel Christmas in our house. My dad always made sure what the true meaning of Christmas was. We have birthday cake and sing Happy birthday to Jesus and he would pick which grandkid got to blow out Jesus' candles. Well that year I was at a lost and did not want to do all that and then my daughter who was 15 at the time said it is what he would have wanted and Grandpa was up in heaven having birthday cake with Jesus himself and celebrating. We have not missed a year in celebrating the true meaning of Christmas. I will be praying and thinking about your family in the days to come. God Bless

Anonymous said...

I just want to let you know that everyone is still with you in thought and prayer. Please know that all of online bloggers are with you.
Take care... and God Bless

Anonymous said...

This poem was given to me 2yrs. ago after my grandma passed away near the holidays. According to several web sources, this poem was written by a 13 year old boy who died of a brain tumor that he had battled for four years. He died on December 14, 1997. He gave this to his mom before he died. His name was Ben. I thought it might help this holiday season. It say's so much about your belief in Jesus Christ.

My First Christmas In Heaven

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessings or love he has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

artcanthurt said...

I found out about your blog for Danni through my mom. She shared with me what reading your blog has meant to her and that she almost feels guilty that she's not able to express her faith on her own blog as you do so eloquently.
I'm seeing and feeling so many of the same things that I read you have gone through. You see, my mom was given a terminal cancer diagnosis on June 17 of this year. She has been undergoing chemo in hopes to be with us longer and just last week she was back in the hospital with a blood infection. As a daughter and Christian I am praying for healing much as you did for Danni. Reading your words has helped my mom and myself - for all I know she's been one of the anonymous comments on your blog. She was upset to hear that Danni passed and yet her strength and faith are still present.
She's my mother, a teacher, the wife of a pastor, my children's Nana and the most beautiful friend to so many - as I know Danni was to so many.
I just want you to know how much your words and sharing of your experience has meant for people who don't even know you. You are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Danni was not only a great roomie but a best friend , I could go to her when I needed to talk and she would come to me ... as I pray, I think of her and how she was there for me and how she will always be there for me ... watching over me . Sometimes I feel like she is right next to me . I miss her ... but I know that she is everywhere ... I am so blessed to have known such a great woman . I love you Danni ...