March 8, 2008, Praises Along the Way- The Dream

I've been waiting on the Lord to speak to me about what to write and this morning I had a dream. I didn't want to write just to write or because people were expecting me to, I wanted the Lord to speak, to inspire me.My dream started in Italy. I was with my children and we were at a hospital on the side of a beautiful mountain. We were visiting the hospital and it was so new they were still doing work on it in various areas. We came upon a group of nurses who were trying to set up their stations. A technical person, a lady, was setting up the computer systems for them. She had a big place on the top of her head where it was obvious that she had had brain surgery of some type. She began to share her story with the nurses and we were all in tears. Then I shared a bit about my situation but the nurses didn't seem interested so I stopped sharing and went on touring the hospital.

I feel like I'm baring my soul for some reason. Anyway, the dream went on and we continued to tour the hospital until it was time to go back to where we were staying. We got lost down a winding flight of stairs. I don't know where my middle daughter was but I wasn't worried about her because she was safe somewhere. I have three children, 19 (girl), 14 (girl), and 10 (boy). Danni, my oldest, took her brother, my youngest, and they ran ahead of me on the stairs. The staircase was small and wooden, roughly made and very small with tight turns. I lost them.I didn't know what to do. I searched and searched. I called to them but they were gone. I followed the stairs to a river, the water was swiftly moving so I turned around. I knew they wouldn't have gone in there and I went back up the stairs looking for a way out of the staircase. There was an opening to an apartment so I slipped through. Across from the stairs I could hear a child in a room behind a door. It sounded like the child was getting ready for bed. I knew there were people in the house so I ran to the basement. There were many rooms down there; they were painted in shades of pinks and blues.

I hid in a closet surrounded by clothes, but I didn't have any on. Next thing I knew. people were having a party in the room in which I was hiding in the closet. A small woman reached into the closet and put her hand on me. I cried out to her and said, “Please, help me. I've lost my children," and I wailed. It was a sound I had never heard myself make. They ignored me and I realized they weren't going to help me.I awoke and I heard the Lord say, "It’s time to write."My thoughts went to the fact that I have my children with me. I know where they are. But what about the woman who doesn't know where her child is or the woman who has had an abortion. The woman who has had to give her child up for adoption and wonders daily if the child has everything he or she needs, if the adoptive parents are doing as they would have done. The agony they silently bare inside must be terrible. I thank the Lord for my circumstances. I'm sure that other parts of the dream refer to my feelings of helplessness – my feelings that no one can care as I do; my thoughts of the coming week and the uncertainties that lie ahead; losing Danni, and remembering things my son has said about not wanting her to die.

I can't even imagine what the women above feel or experience, but I know the Lord has a plan for them too. A purpose for the pain they are going or have gone through. The Bible says in Revelation 12:11: "They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." Interestingly enough, this chapter also speaks of a dragon (the enemy) seeking to devour a woman's child who in childbirth.

I don't know why bad things happen to our children sometimes, but I know for me that I will use the "word of my testimony" to overcome the enemy of our souls to reach as many people for Christ as I can.

My mother's heart breaks for those of us who have to deal with things out of our control where our children are concerned, but I want you to know that God sees everything, and in all the mess, He does love us. Turn to him and let him use you in a powerful way with the word of your testimony to overcome the evil the enemy has sought to bring into your life! Work with God to turn it for good and get as much glory for him and help as many people as you can to find rest in him.If you've had experience in the area I've spoken of today, you have a powerful testimony within you. Release it so others can find their way, so others can be healed and you'll find that God will heal you in the process.I can't imagine how God feels, seeing the state of so many of his children who don't yet know him, knowing how much he loves them and how lost they are to him. The cry from his heart must be enormous, the pain in his heart unbearable.

God, help me to be an overcomer, help me to reach your children who are lost, who don't yet know you and help them find their way to you. You are merciful, God. I worship you.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

DANNI AND FAMILY,
I AM PHIL BUSHONGS YOUNGER SISTER AND HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING DANNI'S PROGRESS ALONG THE WAY. I JUST WANTED YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS OFTEN. YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION TO SO MANY. IT'S AMAZING HOW YOU STAY SO POSITIVE. I WISH YOU THE BEST IN THE WEEKS AHEAD. MAY GOD BE WITH ALL OF YOU. SINCERELY, TARA

Jill Winslow (JJ's friend) said...

I've been on here regularly to see how Danni is doing and have been really blessed by your blogging, Christy. We are praying for you, Danni. I can't imagine how drastically daily life has changed for all of you. But you are daily in my thoughts and prayers. I heard someone say once that sometimes during trials God has something he wants us to learn and that sometimes during trials, he wants others to see how we handle our trials. I heard a song on the radio today and immediately thought of you. It is a Mercy Me song. It reminded me of your faithfulness and constant effort to bring God glory through this. (even though, I'm sure there are many scary, sad and tear filled moments too.)

"Bring the Rain" Mercy Me
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing

Janet Stone said...

Danielle! I am praying for you honey that Jesus is with you through all your up coming treatments. I pray that you feel His presence and know that He is right beside you. We all love you and think about you all the time. Please know that you're in our daily prayers, several times a day.

Christy and family, we pray for you guys too. I pray that you continue to feel His peace and His warmth - and for the hardest thing of all - to be still and know that He is God. Please call me if you need anything. We love you guys.
Love, Janet

Anonymous said...

hey danni just wanted to know im praying for ya and miss you like crazy...keep your head up because God is with you. Miss your smile a lot also! : )
Lance

Anonymous said...

What's goin on Danni? You will probably be able to recognize who this is from just from the text. 'Oh YEAH?'....Yeah! I can't imagine the road ahead of you, but I really hope you know how much support you really have. We are all here for you! I hate how our parents, and friends tell us that it doesn't matter who your friends are in High School because after all is said and done, they really aren't going to be there for you, just have you have always been there in return, not just for me, but for a lot of others. I just really can't even express how awesome our friendship has been...how much fun it has been. I'm praying for you, and for as much as God doesn't seem to answer my prayers, I hope and pray that he answers yours! I love you, and I miss the heck outta you!!!


Trevor

Anonymous said...

Kristi and family, I still have you all in my prayers. I read this website every day checking on your daughter. I was actually over visiting my father in law with the same diese as Danni. He is back at the doctor this morning to find out what the most recen mri had to say. I can tell you that they have no pain in the radiation. My father in law did 12 weeks straight every day except weekends. Even holidays. It is hard. I do know how you feel and people here keep asking us how we deal with it. You just put your faith in God and take each day at a time. I sent some brain tumor paperwork we got to my cousin Tami Smith and I hope you get it. They have some wonderful advice in their flyers so if you have time it would be good to join. It has given us some advice on my father in law. This is one situation where I can actually say I do know how you feel.
May God keep you and guide. Stand beside you and behind you.
Lori

Your Tiffany's Pal - Heather said...

Hey girl I wanted you to know that I will be praying for you tomorrow, heck I think the town of Topeka even have their horses praying for you, but they're all getting sold at the sale. I think you better head on down to the horse sale and buy yourself a prayer horse may be he can heal you. ( But we all know those angels surrounding you are going to do that) lol Love ya girl, oops there I go again hitting on you. Sorry :)