October 4, 2008
I wrote this on a particularly rough day in September. This is a testimony of God's grace and love. I hope you will see her as I do. I was waiting to hear from the Lord when to share this writing and it came to my thoughts today. God has his timing and someone needs to hear what it has to say. So this is for you whoever you are may God's blessings be upon you.
She is currently at home but was in the hospital at this time.
September 9, 2008
It was a pretty rough day for Danni and I, she was so weak it took 2 people to help her stand or move from her bed to the wheelchair or bathroom. I wanted to bring her home. I don’t want her to spend any more time at the hospital than necessary; she needs to be at home with her family. Five o’clock came and I said my goodbyes. “I hate to leave you here but I need to be with Jessi and Atlee too,” I told her. She understood but she wanted me close. It was so hard for me to leave but I didn’t know what else I could do.
The drive home was long; I just kept looking around at all the people in their cars. Some were smoking, most looked stressed out and empty. Some were talking on their phones and others looked ready to blow at the next person who crossed them wrong. I was exhausted by the time I got home, I tried to rest but all I could think of was Danni. I prayed that God would be close to her and that she would be able to feel his presence with her, heavy around her like a thick soft blanket.
I lay on her bed at home wanting to be close to her. I began to think about Danni’s spirit. “People should know Danni’s spirit,” I thought to myself, “people need to know that she is one of the kindest people I have ever known.” People need to see her as I do. So I began to write.
She’s so beautiful, so much love in her eyes. She possesses so much innocence. So deep and rich are her eyes. Silently she suffers, not wanting anyone to suffer with her especially me. She doesn’t want to disappoint me she says. She’s so sorry I have to do the things I do for her. She’s so amazing. Never thinking of herself but always of others.
No trouble should be made for her are her thoughts, I can see it on her face. I know she came to me from heaven. I wish people could see her heart as I do. It’s so big. It’s so big. Nothing compares, there aren’t even words to describe it.
She is so funny. “I’m not much entertainment for you today,” she said to me. “It’s okay, I like the quiet” I said to her. I don’t want her to be anyone but who she is, "No need to entertain, just be you." I tell her.
She’s the kind of friend that you can be with in a quiet room and you don’t feel as if words need to be spoken. Danni cracks me up too when she wants to, she can do it with just a chuckle. I love the way she laughs, so full and deep. She enjoys it.
She has such concern for others less fortunate than her. She’s full of compassion for others.
She can be ornery. She has a playful spirit and quick wit. She never ceases to surprise me with her thoughts. Where does she get this stuff? She’s so clever.
She’s fearless but fears sometimes. She's strong but weak sometimes.
Her hair is gone, her face is full, her body is stretched but her beauty is unmatched! I’ve never seen such beauty in all of my days on this earth! She is such a quiet spirit. Danni is such a gentle spirit. I will miss her deeply if God decides she should be with him but I will understand, she’s so irresistible, so charming and lovable my dear Sharky, my dear Danni.
Jesus, you shine so brightly through her my eyes can hardly bear it. Darkness is all around her and yet she shines, she shines. Oh, if I could only be like her, be like you Jesus I have so far to go. I’m undone with my thoughts today and tears stream down my face as I write this to you.
She’s so brave and she tries very hard, she pushes herself to keep moving even when her strength is almost gone even with great pain in her back. Danni always says thank you no matter what situation she’s in. “Thank you for helping me,” she says. She knows God will heal her, she has no doubt and she eagerly awaits his healing touch upon her. She gets frustrated at times but she turns it over to God. “I guess we’ll just have to trust God,” she says with determination in her voice. I’ve heard her say it more than once.
She has tenacity and endurance unlike I’ve never seen, all supplied by heavenly hands. He created her. He put these qualities in her for such a time as this; he gave her and continues to give her all she needs. He is all she needs, he lives within her.
She said to me when this whole thing started that God told her he would be holding her hand all the way and I’m confident he will keep his promise to her. How sweet it is to know she’s his child and he loves her far more than I ever could, she is in the palm of his hand and that is the safest place for a child of God to be.
Outwardly she’s wasting away but inwardly she’s being renewed day by day. Surely many crowns wait for her. She’s a true over comer. She is a true believer in Jesus. She has the victory. She is made whole. God’s Spirit lives within her and he is what causes her to be Danni.
Thank you, God, for allowing me to take such an honored position in your creation’s life. I am truly humbled, honored and changed forever for the good to have known her. What a journey this has been.
I love you Danni no matter what.
October 4, 2008