Day by Day

November 8, 2008

Days and nights run together. People come and people go from the house bringing love and prayers and food. Some stay the night and others stay for just minutes. Constantly love is poured out over us.

Rest comes in cat naps here and there. Sometimes when I do lay down I can't sleep. I'm tired of decaying flesh. I long for him to come and deliver her, deliver us. Its difficult to wait patiently on the Lord when I see the things I'm seeing.

Watching someone you love so much walk this lonely trail is exhausting, it's painful and I feel so helpless. Looking at pictures of how she used to be and seeing her earthen vessel today I realize how vain is all of the things we do to keep this flesh from wearing out.

I was having a hard time last night and the Lord said Job 23, I expected that he was going to reprimand me for the way I was speaking to him and instead the scripture was exactly how I was feeling. He knows what I'm going through, he watched his son die too.

He put his arm around me in our secret place and pulled me inside of him. He surrounded me with his Spirit, hiding me under his wing. How anyone can say there is no God or that he doesn't care about us, I don't know. He is so loving and kind, so long-suffering with us. He sees our needs and afflictions and gathers us to himself to hide us in him.

I know he's in control and I'm thankful for that but it's very difficult to know how I fit. What am I supposed to do in this whole thing? Painted on Danni's wall is the scripture..."Let be and be still and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10). Often the Lord reminds me to look at the wall, over and over again he says, "Let be and be still and know that I am God" but what does that mean? How does one do that in the face of such grim circumstances.

"My grace is sufficient for thee, my power is made perfect in weakness," is another scripture on a picture hanging on her wall. How true. Do I completely understand what that means? I would be lying if I said yes. In the last few days, I've gone back to the solid truth...Jesus Christ and him crucified.

I am amazed at myself, up and down, round and round I go. I believe he is able but what is here for her when eternity is so close? She says she wants to live and then she says,"I just don't want to be in pain anymore." What a struggle must be going on inside her.

I have released her! I am not so selfish as to ask her to stay, believing for her healing is not my idea! So heal her God! Hasn't she suffered enough!?

I haven't lost heart or my faith but this whole thing has made me question why it is that I believe what I do about healing. It is such an illusive thing and has little to do with us. Little to do with our "feelings" or the way we pray, all that is flesh.

What it has to do with is God and his will and plan and we are just subject to it. Yes he cares and is a compassionate God but he's is not so impressed with our flesh and it is our eternal soul that matters most to him and rightly so! This life is obviously as the word says a "vapor, mist and flower of the field" it can be taken in an instant by the will of the one who created it and yet we live our lives as if we are in control. What a joke. We are so deceived!

He gives us opportunity after opportunity to come to him and enter into rest and peace and we snub our noses at him as if we have the ability to live our lives apart from him.

People if there is anything that I could say to convince you to accept him as your saviour I would but I fear that those of you who don't believe will continue in your paths until one day God will get your attention.

Out of his deep love for you he will continue to pursue you. I encourage you today to stop, turn around and say to him come into my life, you have my attention. Obviously your life won't be all roses if you come to him as you can plainly see by looking at mine but he will give you the strength in your weakness to be able to endure even the most dire of circumstances with grace and dignity.

Danni's security is set, her crowns are waiting, she let Jesus be Lord of her life and she will be with him at some point in time, eternally at peace. I want that for all of you; that is my prayer for you.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 He stands, inches from your face waiting for you to answer his invitation. Will you come into his arms of safety and allow him to hide you in himself even as he did for me today? He treats us all the same, what he does for me he will do for you. It's time for you to answer the call.

14 comments:

Lori Bieber said...

AMEN!!

Anonymous said...

What more could anyone say.....your words have spoken to me so often over the past months. My heart goes out to you and my prayers continue to go up for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

My love pours out to you and your family. I know God is in command at all times! He has laid out his plan for each one of us and all we have to do is follow it. I have too watched a family member suffer through cancer and could not of made it if I didn't have God with me. Please know that you have touched so many of us with your blog. You are an amazing lady just as Danni is too. Prayers are with you...

Jaime said...

Our prayers are with you. We are on our trip and think of you daily. We will be down as soon as we get back. Much Love to Danni, hug her for us. Love to All!! Pete and Jaime

jj said...

You rock, sis. To have a fraction of your wisdom and faith, oh, I would be happy.

.

Anonymous said...

jj, I would be happy to have a sis like yours....you are so lucky

Anonymous said...

we are all here with you all if not in person, prayer. wish nothing but peace and love be with you all.

Jeff said...

Our GOD is amazing, as the bible says he will never give us more than what we and he together can handle! I know that this easier said than done sometimes. But when we believe and trust we truly know how much he loves us. I like what you said today because it is so true, HE is not concerned with our earthly body but rather our heavenly one and most of us lose track of this. I know that our bodies are the temples of the Lord and it is our responsibility to take care them, but more importantly we need to take of our spirit.
Love you all
Grandpa & Grandma Ervin

Michael & Shaunna Minnick said...

My family thinks and prays for your family everyday!! I know people ask themselves everyday, "What kind of God would let such a precious, wonderful young lady like Danni suffer so much"? I am so happy to know that your faith is still as strong as ever, and that you are still spreading the gospel of our savior, Jesus Christ. May his healing power and his loving arms surround you and your family every minute of every day.

Christy, you are such a strong and inspirational woman and mother. Danni is the luckiest girl in the world to have such a faithful mother.

Danni, may God bless you and keep you as you continue to fight this illness. You will always be in our hearts and prayers.

We love all of you.

Mike, Shaunna, Nick, Maryn and Lauren Minnick

Anonymous said...

Could we with ink the ocean fill, and were the skies of parchment made, Were every stalk on earth a quill, and every man a scribe by trade, To write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry; Nor could the scroll contain the whole, Tho' stretched from sky to sky. Oh love of God how rich and pure How measureless and strong. It shall forevermore endure, the saints' and angels' song. Frederick M. Lehman

dawn said...

we love you!!!!!!!!!!
matt & dawn

Anonymous said...

Heavenly Father,
You receive all honor and glory and praise from this family even in the midst of incredibly difficult circumstances

Father God, Thank You that our pain and our grief is never wasted. You are able to use it to draw others to Yourself. Thank You for giving Christy Your Strength and Your Peace and Your Grace to care so lovingly for Danni and to give testimony to who You are so that others might seek you and experience that same Grace from You. God, You have given her scriptures to draw from . . . Your very Word. And we know from Isaiah 56:10-11 that God's Word never goes out only to return empty. Lord of All, Will You honor Christy's desire to point others to You and allow her just a glimpse of the impact Your Word has on those involved through the tragedy team and in many other ways. We come to You with confidence aligning ourselves with Your Word spoken through scripture.

In the Name of Jesus, amen.

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a powerful message. I would just like to praise God for being with the Minnick and Frain families during the greatest storm of their lives. May he continue to be with them, and provide them with the dailey strength and guidance that they need.

Kristina Green said...

Christy,
Thank you so much for sharing these blogs with everyone each day. Brittany, Steve, and I have been keeping up on Danni's health status via this site. I haven't seen any of you in years, but my thoughts are with you during this time. I'm sending my love and support to you and your family.