February 25, 2008
Dashing through the snow, no horse, no sleigh- I got a text about 10:40 pm from Danni. We have been communicating through phone texting because she's upstairs and I'm down, usually. It's a miracle that she can text at all! She asked for a pain pill for her knees. Her knees? I went up to see her and she was truly in pain. Why her knees? Still haven't figured that one out. They were tender to the touch, so I called the doctor. The doctor on call said that it could possibly be blood clots in her legs. We loaded her up for the hospital around 11:30 pm. What a ride, snow everywhere, cars in the ditch. Police pulling people out of the ditch via wrecker service. Those poor guys, what a yuckie night to be working. Finally, we reached Kendallville Parkview. They took all her information and put her in a examining room.
The doctor came in, examined her legs, and said that he was very certain that it wasn't blood clots. We were all relieved and left the hospital joking. Danni saw some coffee in the lobby and jokingly asked if I wanted some coffee, decalf of course! Very funny. Back through the snow we went and thank God we made it safely home. "Well, if nothing else, you made a memory," my mom had commented after we arrived. It's so hard to know when to go and when not to go. I try not to overreact but I want her to have the best of care. I felt so dumb. Better safe than sorry I guess.
February 27, 2008
3 am pancakes - "I got a sharky attack," she said, "I was hungry!" With one eye open, I watched her pour pancake batter onto the little pan. That's something new, I thought to myself. The other morning it was a 4 a.m. bath, today its pancakes at 3 a.m. I guess she's still in college mode. I am in awe at the information that she still has. The Lord was with the doctor for sure! I am so grateful to God for every bit of her memory she still has left. Even if it is something like making pancakes.
The house is quiet this time of day so I decided to take advantage of it and fire up the laptop. I bundled myself in blankets on the couch and the words came from my fingers tapping gently on the keys. Some people would say, "Isn't medicine amazing?" I say, "Isn't God amazing?" Before God gave the technology to man, people just died from something like Danni's condition. I learned from my research guru friend Steph that people with Gioblastoma Multiforme are usually over 50 and that only 2 out of every 100 cancer patients have this form of cancer. My hubby Matt has added to these thoughts with his own research that only people in stage 4 get this kind of technology (chemo wafers). She had to have the worst form to get the best treatment. That blows my mind.
Earlier this evening, Danni and I were discussing this and she said to me, "It's so hard to believe, who would have known that a month ago I would have brain cancer." "I was going to school full time and working." "I know," I said. "The Bible says we are but a "mist" or a "vapor" and we can be gone at any moment (James 4:14). I guess we don't generally think of life in those terms but it is so true. My hubby Matt says we are all terminal. At any moment, our life can be snuffed out. It's only by the grace of God that Danni is alive. Only because of the prayers of people who love her, only because God decided to allow her to live.
Life is so fragile, and really all we have in it are the relationships we've made along the way with family and God. I hope and pray that if there is anyone out there who doesn't know God, they would make that choice today. The Bible says, "Now is the day of salvation," (2 Corinthians 6:2). The enemy tells us lies like, "Wait until you are older, then you can do what you want and still serve God and make it into heaven." Or, "You're not good enough to ask Jesus into your heart, you don't deserve it." Lies, lies, lies, just to buy him more time. The Word says, "The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10) but Jesus comes that we may have life, and have it to the full." So true. I don't know why the Lord has put this on my heart today. But it is for someone. Don't wait! That next breath may not be there. If you don't know him, pray with me.
“Jesus, I know my life is dirty, full of sin and crud. I'm tired of carrying all the garbage from the past and I want you to come into my heart and cleanse me and make me new; give me life to the max! Amen.”
It’s as simple as that. Pray it out loud, mean it from your heart, and believe that he's real, that he died for your sins. If this has been for you and you know who you are, send me a comment to let me know how you felt and what God did for you. It's good to tell someone of your decision. Don't get discouraged if you mess up again in the next few minutes or hours or days. It took some time for you to get to the point in your life where you realized how much you needed him and it only serves as a reminder of how much we continue to need him. He came to save those who were in need of him, not those who didn't need him.
He will lift your burdens off of you and make you new; and during the storms that you will face in life, he'll give you peace during the circumstances, I guarantee it.
February 25, 2008