Why here? What now? Ever wonder why you live where you live and what your purpose in life may be? I had my 20 year class reunion this last Saturday. What a trip! So many looked the same and some had to tell me who they were but it didn’t take long for us to talk to each other with ease. Just like riding a bike it came back, familiar friendships. Even when we’ve been apart for tens of years.
One of my friends had commented that she does this or that hobby but it seemed that there was emptiness there as she wondered, “What have I done with my life?” As she searched for meaning to her life, I too wonder, God, what’s the purpose? What have I done with my life?
I found a verse this week that was interesting to me. Paul speaks in Acts 17:26 & 27 to the intellects at Athens trying to convince them to serve and honor the “unknown god” only.
He says, “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:26 & 27)
I thought about what Paul was saying, God knows where we are, he put us there in hopes that we would reach for him (my paraphrase) AND he isn’t far from us. Wow, I am where I am because God put me here to reach out to him.
I once had a picture in my mind as I was praying. I was asking God for a person to receive Jesus as their savior… in the picture God waited , just inches from the person’s face…nose to nose…waiting to be invited in. Think about that for a minute. God so doesn’t want anyone to perish, to die without him that he waits patiently, close to our faces so close sometimes that we don’t even see him or know he’s there.
But what is it that causes us to think, what have I done with my life? Maybe it’s God calling to us, whispering in our faces, just reach out to me and you’ll find me and have eternal life. He’s as close as a breath. He gives us the breath we breathe (Gen 2:7) to reach out to him and have relationship with him.
What an awesome thought that the God of the Universe made me and gave me a place in time; put me in a specific region of his creation in hopes I would reach out to him and have a loving relationship with him. It’s too big to get my head around! But it’s true for me and for all he calls. To all who hear his voice and accept his gift of salvation.
God wants to have relationship with us and my thoughts were on him today. How sweet it is to be loved by him!
July 15, 2008, Praises Along the Way--Why Here? What Now?
July 14, 2008, Just a Little Note...
Well, everything went good with the bandaging. With Danni's dad on one side and me on the other we got it accomplished. It took two of us because we had to keep it pretty tight. The incision looked good but as soon as the pressure was off the fluid gathered under the skin again.
Bummer. I talked with the doctor's nurse this afternoon and she said that we should keep pressure on it and change it every two days to see if this is spinal fluid or just normal surgery fluid. Only time will tell.
If she still has the fluid under the skin in two weeks, he'll have to do the shunt. I think he's trying to use that as a last resort. I think that he didn't want to do too much at one time this round.
Her spirit is doing well. She's had more energy since she came home from the hospital this last time. From here we wait and see what the fluid will do but the ultimate goal is still to get her to radiation and chemotherapy.
As a side note, Matt's mom came through her surgery just fine and she's recovering well. My back is also better today. Thanks for all the prayers where those needs were concerned.
July 12, 2008
What a week! Danni is her old joyful self today. Making jokes and laughing, eating ice cream. I on the other hand am fighting with my back again, this time I just stood up wrong and my hubby Matt is at the hospital with his family because his mom broke her hip yesterday morning and had to have surgery today.
They weren't sure how she would come out of it because she has lung and respiratory problems. I just got a call from Matt and she came out real well. Thank you Jesus.
Matt and I discussed last night how God "insulates" us from circumstances. Just knowing that he is in control of everything that happens gives us great peace in the midst of any situation.
Thank you Jesus, help us continue to trust in you in the midst of everything we're going through. Amen
July 10, 2008, Going Home
It was a quick trip! Danni comes home today! The doctor said that if she was just sitting here looking out of the window she could do that at home. Woo Hoo!
We have to leave the bandage on until the weekend and then I have to change it. That should be interesting but I think we can manage it. The stitches come out in 2 1/2 to 3 weeks and I have to tell him how it looks next week.
What a surprise! We'll go with it and see how we get along. More testimony to the healing prayers that you all have prayed. We are dearly loved children and he hears and responds to our prayers. Isn't that wonderful? We praise him in "good" and we praise him in "bad"! It's all just a matter of perspective for us kids it's all good because he works every thing for good to those who love him. (Romans 8:28)
July9, 2008, Praises Along the Way-- Encouragement
Danni is doing well today. It’s like she never even had surgery yesterday. She is somewhat weak but in good spirits. Thank you to all who are praying for her, I testify to you that your prayers are working!
In the comments so many say how they were encouraged and they are amazed at the faith of our family. But you don’t know how you encourage me, yesterday was a stressful day for me, the surgery took an hour longer than I had anticipated, we had tornadoes, my other daughter (15) was in a storm and called me in a panic. As I was stressed, I decided to go back and read the comments you all have put on the blog.
I flipped through a lot of them and gain encouragement in my circumstances, some of them brought me to tears. God is so good and he will bring to you exactly what you need when you need it! I testify to you today that there is no need to worry, no need to fear, we have an awesome, mighty God who knows what we need even when we don’t.
He sends angels to encamp around us (Ps 34) Woo Hoo! God is so good and he will bring to you exactly what you need when you need it! I testify to you today that there is no need to worry, no need to fear, we have an awesome, mighty God who knows what we need even when we don’t.
I will be honest with you as well, I did have a bag of M & M’s yesterday and that was also a help to me! What a good God who even provides a bag of M & M’s when you need it!
Much love to you all, Jesus believers! KNOW THIS…GOD IS IN CONTROL!!
July 8, 2008, She's Done...
2:30 pm
Despite Tornado watches and warnings, thunderstorms and rain, rain, rain Danni made it through her surgery just fine. Thanks again for all the prayers.
The doctor said that the tumor was growing out the hole in her head. He had to cut it back before putting the prosthesis in and sealing it up. He said it looked pretty dry and that he didn't think a shunt would be necessary. Let's hope!
The goal is still to get her to radiation and chemotherapy. She'll have a few days rest in the hospital and Lord willing home by the weekend.
July 8, 2008, Update
It's been 2 hours now and no word. I think it's a good thing though, hopefully, he's being thorough.
July 8, 2008, Here We Go!
Danni went into surgery with a joke and a smile and a surgical cap sliding down over her eyes. Mom had to fix that. They took her back around 11:15 am or so and said the surgery would take 2-2 1/2 hours.
She was relaxed and ready to go. Hopefully this will take care of the fluid issue and she won't have a bump on her head anymore. Thanks for all the prayers, we'll keep you updated as we go.
July 7, 2008, Surgery Date
Tomorrow Danni will have surgery if everything goes as planned. She has to be at the hospital at 9 am and the surgery will be at 11 am. They will put the plastic piece in and hopefully that will stop the drainage under her skin.
I don't anticipate that the surgery will take long.
She's not nervous or scared. I will keep the blog updated as always. Prayers appreciated. Many thanks and praise to God for the good things he is doing and has done!
July 2, 2008, Praises Along the Way-- Victory! Take the Land!
I sat out on the patio reading this afternoon about Caleb in Joshua 14: 6-14. As the breeze swirled around me, my thoughts were on the Lord and the strength that his Word gives me. I feel like I could conquer anything! Such encouragement I took from Caleb’s testimony! I can see why he’s included in the bible, I had thoughts like, “Man, people will be so encouraged by this guy!” I wonder if the early writers thought the same thing!
I love how he gives the men of Judah a talking to in the end of verse six through verse nine. “…You know what the Lord said to Moses the man of God at Kedesh Barnea about you and me. I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh Barnea to explore the land. And I brought him back a report according to my convictions, but my brothers who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt with fear. I, however, followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.
So on that day Moses swore to me, “The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.”
I love how he speaks from his convictions and not from what his eyes saw like the rest of the guys (read Numbers 13:26-33). Did you notice that what they spoke of melted the hearts of the people with fear? What will I speak from? My faith? My fears? And how do my words affect those around me. I think about the drive home from the hospital the first night that we found out Danni had brain tumors.
I thank God for his spirit that rose up in me and spoke to Danni from the faith God had given me. I spoke to her repeating scripture after scripture. I don’t even remember which ones they were I just know that as they came to the top of my heart I relayed them to her.
How do you think my words might have affected Danni if I had spoken my fears at that moment? Thank you God for taking control of my mouth!
Just the fact that scriptures came up in me at that moment gives me confidence that God has a plan and a purpose! He hasn’t brought her this far in her life only for her to die. There may be some out there that think I’m in denial but my eyes are open I just choose not to live by fear. I choose faith that I may be pleasing to God and that only by grace.
I also love how Caleb says he served his God wholeheartedly! And guess what? He was rewarded! (See Joshua 14:13-15)
He goes on to say in Joshua 14:10-12, “Now then, just as the Lord promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the desert. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then.
Woo Hoo!!! Man that gets my blood pumping! I just want to say, “Go, Caleb! With you and God there isn’t anything you can’t accomplish!” Listen to the faith this man had, the conviction, the strength and he was eighty-five years old! He was still ready to fight! Jesus make me like Caleb in my old age! He wasn’t afraid to face the Anakites, who were giants, in his life. He took them head-on and there wasn’t even a doubt in his mind that he wouldn’t be successful with God by his side!
I’ll end this with scripture that is dear to me and that is Romans 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For, I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. YES AND AMEN!!! THAT’S MY GOD!!!
Believers in Jesus, NO MATTER WHAT, WE ARE LOVED BY HIM!! NO MATTER WHAT, WE CAN’T BE SEPARATED FROM THAT LOVE HE HAS FOR US!! WOO HOO!!
July 1, 2008, Here's the Deal...
Danni didn't have surgery to put the plastic piece in yet. The nurse was supposed to call on Monday but didn't until this morning. The doctor is recommending that we do NOT put in a shunt this round. He wants to see if he can get her head sealed up and then if she needs it later he'll put one in.
Danni was relieved by this turn of events because she was still very undecided about the shunt. Matt and I prayed with her about it and we all felt a peace about leaving it in God's hand to take care of and sure enough he did!
The surgery is tentatively scheduled for the afternoon of July 8th. There was another patient that was before her in line and the nurse wasn't sure what that person would decide. I took that to mean that she may get in earlier if that other person doesn't want their surgery at the scheduled time.
That's where we're living, thanks for all the prayers!
June 29, 2008, New Update
Tomorrow we will be awaiting a call from the doctor. Friday we found out that the plastic piece that was fitted for her head is ready and I'm hoping that we can do surgery as soon as possible.
We have questions for the doctor such as can she have a shunt put in the same time as the prosthesis? Will it make the incision heal more quickly? Will it help any future leakage? Danni hasn't fully decided if she wants one in or not but she will have to make that decision soon.
Hopefully he can answer our questions. I will keep you all up to date.
June 26, 2008, Praises Along the Way--Through the Storm
I went with my friends today to have lunch. My friend Steph had a birthday and we decided that we should celebrate. As we pulled up to the place we would dine, we chattered excitedly about the flowers and the stone shed. I especially liked the stone bunny planted in the middle of the velvety looking lilies.
I love being with my buddies, there is something about going out with these girls that makes me feel like I can face the world knowing that they are there for me. We sat in the old Victorian room admiring the vine painted ceiling and the elegant table cloth. What a perfect place to celebrate a birthday. I could just picture Victorian ladies eating finger sandwiches in the parlor where we sat.
The food was good and the dessert divine. As we talked and giggled enjoying our time together inside, the clouds were getting dark outside. We finished our meal, payed the check and went for our cars. Just past the gazebo on the horizon we could see heavy rain headed our way.
We quickly loaded ourselves in the cars and took off for home. The wind blew our car and pieces of debris swirled about us. We made it to my friend’s house where we had carpooled just as the rain began to fall. I jumped into my van and made for the road to get home to the kids.
The wind blew fiercely as I plodded along going faster then slower, dodging puddles that could throw the van into a spin. The wind continued to blow and the rain pelted the van going sideways now. All the way, I thought to myself, “I should be scared but I’m not!” I praised God singing loudly with the music, good thing I was by myself! I sang about God’s love and goodness and mercy following me all the days of my life. All the while the storm raged blowing me from one side of the road to the other throwing sheets of rain in my path and at the van. I could barely see where I was going.
Just then the thought hit me; this is just like the storms of life that we encounter. I knew I was safe in the van, just like I’m safe in him. My old reliable van took me safely home. It didn’t matter what was going on outside, I was praising Jesus inside. I held my peace. What an awesome picture of the trials of life we go through. God is there with us and if we just keep praising him, he will take us safely home.
Getting all upset and scared wouldn’t have accomplished anything, there was no one available to rescue me I had to go through it alone except, I wasn’t alone, he was there lovingly guiding me and speaking to my heart. I am blessed. We are blessed to have a God who is constantly watching out for us even when things happen that we don’t understand. He never leaves us or forsakes us even when he’s quiet. As for the storm, looking outside right now you’d never even know that a storm had passed over. That’s how storms in our lives happen as well, here a minute and then gone.
Next week will be another big week for us. Another storm to go through but I have confidence that no matter what happens, God is in control and I don’t have to get all worried and upset, it wouldn’t help anything anyways. This is another opportunity to grow in my faith and trust him more. Another opportunity to see the glory of God and for him to do another miracle because Danni won’t make it without God willing her to live another day. It’s all in his hands and I leave it there. I will hold my peace, praise him and he will take us safely through the storm.
June 26, 2008, Answered Prayer...
I woke this morning praying for Danni. "Lord, please help Danni, please bring us some word on her next surgery." I left the request with him and got up and went on about my day.
Within an hour or so I got a phone call from the doctor's nurse. She said that the prosthesis is done and that the doctor would be back on Monday. I told her that we wanted to do the surgery just as soon as possible and I asked if Danni decided to go with a shunt if they could do that at the same time.
The nurse said that she would talk to the doctor on Monday and let us know what the plan would be. I told her that we'd let her know what Danni decided on Monday when she calls us.
I am so glad to hear this good news. Danni had another headache again today and it's time we get this taken care of. Thank you thank you, God, for answering my prayer and the prayers of many. Please pray for wisdom for Danni in these next few days. Thanks again for your prayers.
June 25, 2008, Got Some Good News
Hey, I heard from Danni's dad's company today that she will be able to stay on her father's insurance! This is a big praise as we were concerned that she couldn't prove that she was a full time student anymore and would then in turn lose her ability to be insured on her dad's policy.
Once again God goes before us providing all that we need and more.
We're still waiting for the plastic head piece to come in, it's been about 4 weeks now. I assume that she'll have the surgery after the fourth sometime. Now that we know for sure that she'll be covered by insurance that takes some of the pressure off even though it was the least of our concerns.
Danni is still having headaches off and on, hopefully something can be done soon. She's a patient trooper.
June 22, 2008, A New Day
I thank you Lord, your mercies are new every morning.
I want to give a huge thank you to this extraordinary community in which I live, they really pull together when something happens to one of us. Thank you to my friend Jaime who organized the biggest, most full of love benefit for Danni. Thank you to all who gave generously of their time and effort, of their finances and food. I know that these are rough times and it was a sacrifice for many of you.
We are truly thankful, grateful, appreciative, humbled, blessed the list could go on and on and never describe the feeling completely. Thank you all. My prayer is that God would bless you ten times beyond the blessing you've poured out over our family. AMEN!
I also want to thank those of you who prayed for my back. Things are improving in that situation but I'm still taking it easy.
I also want you all to know that you were an avenue for God to show his love to us. You will never know the impact of even little things that were done at the benefit. Relationships may have been built that weren't there before, people may have been touched whose hearts are hardened to the love of God, even a smile or a hug might have made someones day.
God always has a myriad of things he's doing behind the scenes. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this was more than a benefit for Danni. His purposes are so much more. He's such a good God!
One thing that blessed me was to see Danni get up from the table she was sitting at and cross a crowded place to be with her friends who had come from high school. She's so brave. It blessed my heart to see her laughing and joking and interacting with them. That was a big step for her. I was proud of her. It took a lot on her part just to go to the benefit.
Since this has happened she's held a lot of people at arms length and rightly so, shes had to work through a lot mentally as well as physically and spiritually. Cancer is a complete and life changing situation that I can't comprehend .
I also want to thank those of you who said to me, our family has been there and we've made it! What an encouragement! Thank you so much for taking the time to come and express your experiences with me. It's nice to know your not alone and there is someone who has been there and came out alive!
Again, thank you from the bottom, top and middle of our hearts. :)
June 18, 2008, Not Today....apparently
Mom down, mom down! My back is out and I won't be going anywhere for the rest of the week, at least. Danni and I are both slow moving now. I am identifing with her on a new level. This situation has made for some hillarious moments and also it's been an avenue to for the kids to gather around me and lay their hands on me in prayer.
This is a huge decision to make whether or not to go ahead or just tough it out and wait. Also, its been about four weeks since they sent the cat scan to the prosthesis company. Maybe it will be ready next week. These things I don't know for sure, it is just what I'm thinking. It's so hard to know what to do.
It seems that God threw a monkey wrench into the plan for today so, we'll just go with it for now. If we ask God to stop us if this isn't his will then we have to be ready when he does.
Proverbs 16:9 says, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."
I acknowledge you are in control, Lord, thy will not mine, I trust you.
June 17, 2008
Tomorrow Danni and I will be going back to the doctor for a little check up. Danni has been having headaches again under the fluid pocket and so we'll have it checked and maybe go ahead with the shunt while we're waiting for the plastic piece to be made.
We'll talk to the doctor and see what he thinks. If we decide that she should go ahead with the shunt to relieve the pressure then he will probably be able to get her in pretty quickly.
This morning I was reading again in Joshua 1 so many times in there he is told by God and then the people "Be strong and courageous..." God always brings us what we need when we need it.
Much love to all, thanks for all the prayers and love and support.
June 15, 2008, Praises Along the Way--Fresh Fruit!
Friday was a great day for us. Danni had a doctor’s appointment that went well. The doctor prescribed vitamin B6 and magnesium to help with the kidney stones. He said it may even shrink the one she has, we were pleased that he didn’t prescribe more medication and as a bonus he told us to go to Target! What a doctor! He said their vitamins are the most potent.
So, to Target we went and picked up the vitamins, then to eat lunch with Matty and on to see Prince Caspian (the movie). We had a wonderful day and it didn’t end when we got home. People called that cared for us and shared scripture with us. Then the doorbell rang and there was our neighbor with some fresh strawberry jam and beautiful strawberries picked from her garden!
As she was at the door she looked down and leaning against the side of the house was a package of perfect fresh pears and cherries, a gift from our friends in California. YUM! They were wonderful! Thank you a bunch Del and Carol!
Anyway, it made me think of Duet. 8 where Moses tells the Israelites not to forget their God in good times. He tells them in vs. 1 how to live in increase in the land they are about to enter. He reminds them to think about how God was the one who brought them to the land causing them to hunger and then he fed them with manna. He tells them they are disciplined by God like a father disciplines his son and then in vs. 6 he continues by telling them they must live by God’s ways and revere him.
Then in verses 7-9 For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land –a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills.
These verses were what made me think about how God has brought me through so many things in my life, how when I chose to walk in his ways I was blessed and when I chose to go my own way I was not so blessed. How even in the darkest times of life, he never leaves me or forsake me and how his goodness comes shining through all the ominous clouds of circumstance.
Wow all these thoughts from fruit! No, it wasn’t so much the fruit as the acts of love and kindness of the brethren. God moved upon the hearts of these dear ones to bring his loving tenderness to us when we didn’t even think we were in need, just to say he loves us and he’s thinking of us and he sends us the very best at that! Man, what a good God we serve!
I also thought of the words of Isaiah in chapter 1 vs. 19- If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land… What an awesome promise God gives us even in the midst of sin! Here the people had sinned against him and his heart says in vs. 18 “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”
Can you feel his heart? How his kindness overflows? What love and mercy! He is the God of the universe who could squash us with just a thought and he extends his hand to us in kindness, love and mercy. Wow, I am getting blessed! His love overwhelms me!
It is with tears in my eyes that once again I plead with you whoever you are, give your life to him, go and “reason together” with him and give him full control. He is such a good God and he loves you very much.
Father, I ask that you pour out your kindness upon this generation. Thank you so much for lavishing me with your love today. Amen.
June 12, 2008, Praises Along the Way-Lucy's Celebration
Today I went to drop off all of the county records I had been accumulating every year that I worked for them. The laws have changed and because of that a portion of my job is gone. One I had faithfully done for 14 years. But, in saying all that I realize that once more God has a plan and a purpose.
Danni went along for the ride and we decided to party on the way home, mind you this was 10 o’clock in the morning. We were hoping that our beloved “Lucy’s” would be open and sure enough it was. I turned in and we went around the building to get in line.
After we got our ice cream, I know it was bad, we sat in the van watching vehicles whiz by on the road in front of us. We laughed and tried to convince ourselves that the ice cream was good for us and that it was good we were eating it so early in the day so that we could have time to burn off the calories.
Danni made her ice cream cone aerodynamic, so much so that I said, “That thing is going to fall over!” She laughed and took another lick in the same direction, that’s Danni for ya.
It’s so important to me these little insignificant moments with her. So many things I take for granted. Every day I try to spend some time with her and now that the majority of my work is over I’ll have more time, so that’s a good thing. Many times just sitting by her bed she gets me laughing so hard I’m crying. Every day with her is precious. But then again when you think about it, every day that we all have with our loved ones should be precious.
Brain cancer is only one thing that could take a life. We are a fragile lot. We may think we’re pretty strong but it’s God that gives us breath. Without his grace and mercy to us every day we’d be dust again.
Stop and think about your next few breaths……………………………...think about the fact that God is there supplying every one. How will I use these breaths today, to praise God and give him glory or to curse my fellow man, who is created in God’s image?
Lord, help me I am but dust, I need you with every breath. Thank you for these times when you make me aware of your presence and love with me. Help me to glorify you today and not take my loved ones for granted. Soften my heart and fill me to overflowing with your love. Thank you Holy Spirit for these thoughts and prayers. All glory to you.
June 11, 2008, Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday dear JJ (Our wonderful loving, sister and aunt (from Danni)) Happy Birthday to You!
Danni says Happy Birthday and thank you for coming to see us and have a good birthday!
We miss and love you much, hope you have a great day! JJ has been helping me to maintain this blog and during her last visit with us she presented me with a binder that was color coded. She had printed out everything I had written, every scripture for today and everything you have written. I was amazed to see how thick the 2" binder was, I'm pretty sure I owe her an ink cartridge and a ream of paper!
What a precious gift she gave to me and I love her very much!
J- Just want you to know how appreciated you are and how much you've blessed us! love sis
June 8, 2008, Praises Along the Way- Ten Virgins
People say to me, “I don’t know how you do it!” I say, “God! His grace is truly sufficient for me.” Yielding to his Holy Spirit living in me guiding me, comforting me, giving me life.
Many times in scripture his Holy Spirit is symbolized by oil.
Sunday we were discussing Matthew chapter 25. In the beginning of chapter 25, Jesus tells the parable of the ten virgins and their OIL lamps. Five were foolish and weren’t prepared for the bridegroom (Jesus) to come and five were wise and were prepared having their wicks trimmed and their lamps full of OIL.
It was brought to my attention that these were all virgins, all Christians. They were all waiting and knew that the bridegroom was coming. Five took him at his word and were prepared and the other five for whatever reason were not.
This is a warning to me and all of us that when the Holy Spirit points his finger in an area of my life and says, “Come here, let me help you with that, or let me do this or that in your life.” I should respond to him immediately. If I want my wick trimmed and my lamp filled with oil. If I want to be wise and ready for his coming then I will allow the Holy Spirit to fill me and do the work he wants to do and not resist because of what my eyes see. There is cost involved though, I have to lay down my pride and allow him free access no matter what.
How foolish would I be to go this road I’m walking alone trying to figure things out on my own, refusing to let the Spirit lead and guide. Rebelling against his work in my life because it hurt my pride or inconvenienced me. NO WAY!! I need you Holy Spirit! Have your way and work in my life! I give you free reign so that when Jesus appears I am ready to go! Even as I’m writing this I know I will be tested in the near future!
The lie of the enemy is procrastination. There’s always tomorrow to respond to God, just kick back and relax and enjoy the day doing things your own way and what feels good, he’ll forgive you. Daily the Holy Spirit comes to the Christian and says, “Let’s work on this, let’s get rid of that, I want you to humble yourself here... " it goes on and on until we are prepared for our eternity with Him. Time is against us and the supply will not always be there readily available. Listen and yeild NOW!
Case in point, Matthew 25:10-12, the virgins go to buy the oil and by the time they get back the door is shut and the Lord says in verse 12 “I tell you the truth, I don’t know you.” Sure the oil was still available but they had to go somewhere and buy it, they had to have money and at that point even their money and the oil did them no good. I don’t know about you but I think I want to be on the inside at the wedding banquet and I want it to be a BIG PARTY!
Holy Spirit, help me through these light and momentary troubles right now so that I won’t have to live with an eternity of regret. Change me, shape me, mold me into whatever you have in mind for me, I’m sure I will be beautiful when you are done to the praise of your glory, AMEN!
All glory to you, Jesus, YOU are my source! YOU ARE HOW IT'S DONE!
June 8, 2008, Here's Where We Are...
I've had lots of questions about Danni in the last few days so I thought I'd better have another update. There seems to have been some confusion as to whether or not Danni is in the hospital.
Danni is at home and has been for six to seven weeks. We are waiting for the plastic piece that will fill the void in her skull to be made and it takes roughly four to six weeks to do so.
The doctor who took care of her kidney stone wants to see her next week with some new blood work. We aren't sure what that is all about except to know that her calcium and acid levels are high. We see that doctor on Friday in Ft Wayne, IN.
The fluid on the side of her head has not decreased and it doesn't cause her much discomfort. It seems to be staying the same so for now it's just a waiting game. The tumors have grown some in size in the area that the doctor couldn't remove them but where he did remove the other tumor he says it looks good.
She still has a good attitude and seems to be coping rather well considering her circumstances.
Just a note to all those lovely people who are working so hard to raise funds for Danni...thanks could not describe our gratitude. You are a beautiful group of people. The concern and support this community has shown gives me faith that there are still wonderful people in America. I thank God for this community, it's a special place I'm proud to call home!
June 4, 2008, Praises Along the Way - God's Radiation Treatment
Lately it seems as though I’ve wanted to escape the circumstances. Not physically but mentally. Seeing my daughter in the condition she’s in confronts me every day. Knowing that there is nothing I can do to help her.
I’ve been occupying my mind with a new island for my kitchen; we started to remodel before this situation came to be or new bedding or flowers for the porch. I know, guys, you can’t understand the whole shopping thing but for a woman it can be an escape. It’s a way to take a break from life and not have to deal with anything, something to take your mind off of the present condition.
Naturally, God created women as gatherers and nesters but when it consumes a person’s time to the point it eats away at time alone with God it becomes sin. An idol if you will.
It has occurred to me that this sin has been robbing me from my quality time with God and for that I had to repent. John chapter three came to mind this morning so I went there to read. Down in verses 16-21 I read of God’s love for me, a familiar passage. I read that I’m not condemned because of my belief that Christ is my savior, thank you Jesus!
Then I learned about light. How men loved darkness because their deeds were evil (vs. 19) and that everyone who does evil hates the light and won’t come into the light for fear of their evil being exposed.
The next verse hit my spirit with a burst of revelation. The word says that “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done by God.”(vs. 20)
I realized that God’s light is his radiation treatment for our souls! When we expose our sins to God and those we can trust and are truthful with ourselves and come into his light, it kills the cancerous sin on our spirit! Light and darkness cannot occupy the same space, light dispels the darkness and so it is within us when we are honest with God and someone who loves us. It completely releases us from the grip that the enemy would try to put on us. Read James 5:16 about confessing to each another. Read Eph 5:8, 1Peter 2:9, and 1John 1:5 concerning what we once were and who we are now and about God himself.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, his is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ…” (2 Cor. 5:17-part of 18). We are new; God cleanses us from sin when we accept Christ as Savior. We come from darkness into the light. That’s God’s will and plan for all of humanity. That we humbly come to him through acceptance of his son into his light and are cleansed from our sin and saved from the pit of hell! What a wonderful, patient, loving God we are privileged to know!
I thank you, God, for showing me my sin so I could deal with it and come back into right relationship with you. Thank you for your kindness to me. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for keeping me close to the Father. Help us each one to endure the circumstances we’re placed in having complete confidence in you to bring us through better and stronger and more like you. Amen.
June 1, 2008, Decision Time
We went to the doctor on Friday for a consultation. He said that now a shunt is an option but it wasn't before because of the infection. The prosthesis will take four to six weeks to get because it has to be special made to get a tight fit so the shunt would possibly be done in the mean time to control the fluid.
However, because Danni is 19 she has the final say as to what will be done. In thinking it over this weekend she has come to the conclusion that she doesn't want a shunt put in at this time. The fluid pocket doesn't bother her (hard for the rest of us) but it's her decision, her body and her life. It isn't that she's afraid of surgery, she says she just doesn't have a peace about the shunt.
I reason that she has four to six weeks to wait and the doctor can get her in pretty quick if she needs one right away so if it gets bigger we could always do it then. I want her to follow peace so I will support her in this decision.
A shunt is a big decision because it could work in her situation and it could not work because of the place the fluid is located. A shunt is also a lifetime decision because it stays in for the rest of your life unless it gets infected which is also another possibility. It can also get clogged although the doctor says that they are pretty reliable.
I'm not saying that she won't ever have one but for now she's decided against it. I am so proud of her, even though she has been forced into making life decisions at a young age she is following the peace that God puts in her heart.
Thank you God for the grace you are giving her to deal with the situation she's in and help me to trust in your Spirit within her to guide her just like you do me. I know you love us so much and have plans for our good and that you will never leave us or forsake us. Thank you for your faithfulness. I love you, Jesus Amen.
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