A Tribute To Danni Frain

It's Done!!

2010-05-19T08:13:00.001-04:00

Here's a picture of my book. I just received it yesterday and I am thrilled! The book is based on the blog that I wrote during the time of my daughters battle with brain cancer. I've also included other things I remembered as I was reliving the events of this 10 month period as well as memories from Danni's childhood. If you would like to have a copy, the book is available for purchase at http://www.amazon.com/ in the book section under the title "Hug Life".

For Such A Time As This...

2009-10-24T20:07:00.002-04:00

October 24, 2009

I’ve been doing some praying about this blog and what the Lord has for it. I wanted to know if it was his desire for me to continue as is or if I was to change things. For some time now I’ve felt like change was coming to my life and to the blog. This morning God directed my thoughts to Ecclesiastes 3; this scripture is an appropriate end for this blog and the beginning of something new.

While I am sad to leave this blog and move to the new one I’ve created, I’m also very excited to see what God will do. I will continue to write as God inspires me but it’s time to lay this chapter to rest and begin anew. The new blog is at http://www.christyminnick.blogspot.com/ and I have named it “For Such a Time as This.”

I close this chapter of my life with these words:

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to uproot.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance…
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4, 11a

I leave this blog as a memorial to my beloved daughter so that her story may never be forgotten. I want the world to know that my loving God did a mighty work in Danni and all the lives that she touched.

Glory to God Forever. Amen!

Enter the Sabbath Rest...ASAP!

2009-10-15T09:24:00.007-04:00

October 15, 2009

Wow! Did we have a great time at bible study this week! My mom has been with us since the first of October so she got to sit in with us as a special treat to us. The Lord really opened his word to us beginning with Genesis 22. Here God was testing Abraham to see if he would be obedient even to the point of sacrificing his son. God wanted to know who was more important to Abraham, God or his favored, promised son. He wanted to see if Abraham feared him.

Abraham was obedient and faithful to his God and at the last minute God sent an angel to stop his hand as Abraham was going to follow through with the Lord’s instructions. Because of Abraham’s faithfulness in putting God in his rightful place, God pronounced promises and blessings to him and future generations. We discussed how Abraham knew God was testing him and that he most likely wouldn’t have to kill Isaac his son as verses 5 & 8 gave us clues to his thinking process but he was prepared to do so.

As we moved on to the next scripture, John 10, we could see how the Holy Spirit was progressing things. Jesus spoke of his sheep and they are those who know him and know his voice. We didn’t see any doubt in the word about that; if you are a sheep of the shepherd then you will know him and hear his voice and follow him and he will give you eternal life (verses 1-9 & 28). Abraham heard God and followed him.

Jesus continues in John 10:9-16 speaking to the people about the way into the sheep pen of safety, he is the “gate” and the only way. He lovingly reveals his heart to the people showing them who he is, “the Good Shepherd”. He is the only one who can be relied upon; people who have been “hired” will run when trouble presents itself but the Good Shepherd will always be there.

God doesn’t want us to rely on those in authority over us because people will always let us down when we put our faith and trust in them instead of Jesus. We should never elevate anyone; God won’t tolerate someone in his spot. He is a jealous God and when we put someone in his place such as a spouse, our president, our pastor, or even our own self it is idolatry. God will bring idols down and he will cause them to fail us as he reveals their hearts to us.

Jeremiah 17:5-10 beautifully illustrates these points as God says, “…Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord.” This scripture goes on to contrast what this person looks like compared to the one who puts their trust in the Lord in verses 6-8. When we focus on ourselves or others as our source of strength we lose sight of God and become dry and it was interesting to us that we also miss prosperity when it comes to us. But if we are focused on God and put our hope and trust in him we flourish and don’t have any worries in time of drought. This speaks of many different kinds of circumstances that will surround us.

God tells us in verses 9-10 that he knows our hearts and that they are filled with deceitfulness this is why must trust only in him. He must be in the place of our worship and focus. I was challenged to ask God who it was that was sitting on the throne of my heart. It must be Jesus because he will not accept any less.

I know this is long but stay with me because it is so important to survival of these last days that you hear what the Lord is saying next. Verses 11-18 of Jeremiah 17 are describing our times in which we live as Jeremiah is praying to God; he worships him and he knows where his strength, healing and salvation come from. Jeremiah also knows that it will take God to get him through what he sees coming to the people.

Now the scripture seems to turn in Jeremiah 17:19-27 and God speaks to Jeremiah about the Sabbath and keeping it holy. Why is this here? Keep your finger her and turn to Hebrews 4:1-11 and you will see that we are to enter into the Sabbath rest of God by believing and knowing that God has already finished his work from the creation of the world (vs.3)

(Read Numbers 13 & 14 to understand better why God says that they will “never enter rest” in verse 3. It was because they would not believe and in doing so where disobedient just as we are when we do not believe.)

Back to Hebrews 4 in verse 6 it states this “It still remains that some will enter that rest, and those who formerly had the gospel preached to them did not go in, because of their disobedience”, in other words they didn’t receive the gospel by believing it and the writer of Hebrews calls that disobedience.

Unbelief is disobedience as well as worry and fear is disobedience. If we allow these things to rule in our hearts we are saying that God can’t handle things and that we need to take over for him. We will never enter into the Sabbath rest which is knowing that God is in control and that all things are already accomplished by God until we trust him fully.

Hebrews 4: 10-11 tell us that when we enter into the rest of God we also rest from our work as God did from his and that the only thing we need to expend effort to do is to enter into the rest of God!

Now, go back to Jeremiah 17:19-27 and notice how many times the Lord tells the people not to “carry the load”. What is he saying to us? Lay it down, enter into the Sabbath rest and then you will go through the “gate” (Jesus) and have peace no matter what is going on around you. Also notice what happens if we don’t obey the Sabbath in verse 27. YIKES that’s not what I want! I want to enter into the place of safety and fortress during trouble times.

How do we enter in and be obedient? Part of the answer is the control of our thoughts as Philippians 4 instructs us to do and the other part is to believe and receive what Christ died to give us.

By learning to be content in every circumstance we enter into the Sabbath rest by trusting that God will supply for our every need. We trust that God has completed the work in this earth and his people, his sheep, and we believe which resists unbelief, fear and worry (which is just a byproduct of fear). We take our thoughts and focus them on good things as Philippians 4:8-9 instruct us, which by the way are all descriptive words of Jesus! Check it out!

In conclusion, if we put our trust in man we are cursed but if we put our trust in God we are blessed. We know him and hear his voice and we follow him keeping our focus on him and as we do, we believe and enter into the Sabbath rest of trusting in him. As a result fear and all its cronies are driven far from us!

People this is the only way we will survive what is to come! Sabbath rest is key and without it we are cursed and in disobedience to God. Sabbath is not some rule or regulation that God has put on us to be mean; it is not that we cannot mow the grass on Sunday or whatever ridiculous rule that may be imposed upon us by religion; it is the way of escape when the enemy rears his ugly head in our direction through uncontrollable circumstance!

Sabbath rest is every second of every minute of every day and Jesus died so that we could have it but we must remember that our strength is through him (Philippians 4:13). Lay the load down through prayer and petition with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6) and enter in to peace and rest (Philippians 4:7)that is a fortress like we have never known!

Sum it Up

2009-10-12T10:15:00.008-04:00

October 12, 2009

God is so gracious and merciful to us. He is so patient and kind. Day after day we sin, sin and sin again denying him and thumbing our noses at his power by taking for granted his attributes.

Deuteronomy 29 was very interesting to me this morning, here God is renewing his covenant with the people of Israel , (in whom we are included through Christ), through Moses who is the mouthpiece of God at this moment in time.

As I was reading verse 4, I marveled at the thought that it is God who did not enable the people to understand, see or hear what God had done and had been doing. They were living from day to day going about their business completely oblivious to what God was accomplishing and they had even seen his great power in their deliverance from the Egyptians. If God doesn’t want you to understand, you won’t…he controls it all.

The picture begins to unfold as we see in verses 10-11 all the people including the “aliens” or foreigners standing among them before God and Moses so that God can confirm this uncomprehending, ragtag bunch of people as his people.

Have you ever noticed that God always takes into the fold of his arms everyone that society rejects? Verse 13 says that God wanted to “confirm you this day as his people, that he may be your God as he promised you ….” I'm glad the non-jewish people there were claimed as his people as well, God doesn't leave anyone out and he doesn't play favorites.

God keeps his promises and the desire of his heart is and has always been to be our God, keep his promises to us and have relationship with us. Our God is a faithful God. Verse 14 goes on to say… “I am making this covenant, with its oath, not only to you who are standing here with us today in the presence of the Lord our God but also with those who are not here today.” That would be us as well! If you want to know the details of the covenant that God made with us just read Deuteronomy 28.

If we do things God’s way we will bring blessings to ourselves but if we do things our way we will bring curses upon ourselves. Deuteronomy 29 continues on by saying what “bitter poison” idolatry is to us. It is following other things instead of God and it is a dead end that leads to more emptiness. Nothing can satisfy like God, he fills your whole being with peace and deep joy.

When we hear the word of God verse 19 says the person who hears invokes a blessing on himself, man, that’s some powerful stuff. So many times I don’t really think that the word of God is anymore than just words on a page and yet here we see it is so much more.

There is a warning that God is bringing to the people about the blessings and the promises in the last half of verse 19 and it is how God’s people have a tendency to think … things are going good, I’m being blessed, “I will be safe, even though I persist in going my own way.” God’s my friend, we think to ourselves, and he loves me so he will let me get away with continuing in my own way of doing things. Yeah, this or that behavior isn’t exactly what the bible says to do, but those scriptures don’t apply to me. There is a whole host of lies we allow to invade us when we want to continue worshipping our idols.

Yes, God does love us and he is our friend that’s why discipline comes to his disciples. As this scripture continues we see the disaster that is brought upon the people and how angry God becomes with this kind of attitude. God will not tolerate anything between him and his people, he is a jealous God and he wants the path between us to be clear. God wants you all to himself and he will not share, nor should he because he is our creator God.

The very last verse of Deuteronomy 29 tells us that God reveals these things to us for a purpose and that purpose is this: “…that we may follow all the words of this Law.” This is so that we may please God for our own good so that blessings can flow to us through the promises of God that he so wants to lavish upon us but God demands that our hearts be free from anything that would hinder our relationship with him.

What is the law that God is asking us to follow? Jesus himself tells us in Matthew 22:37-40, “Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Jesus is making it easy and clear for us by his last statement in verse 40. He is saying that if we follow these two commandments or laws the rest of them will fall into place, these are the “bottom line” laws.

As I thought about my life, I found myself asking God to show me the idols in my way. I wondered how much I really do love God. Do I love him like Jesus said to love him? Do I love my fellow man like Jesus said to love him?

God, help me to be free from anything that hinders me from entering into the restored relationship Jesus died to give me. Clean out the dusty, dirty rooms of my heart clogged with things that don’t fill and satisfy me like you do. Help me to love you and others as you have commanded me. I come into agreement with your powerful, precious Holy Spirit and your Word. Amen.

Believe....No Compromise!

2009-09-28T09:18:00.001-04:00

September 28, 2009

I wanted to share some thoughts from our bible study last week. There were some great discoveries that we made that blessed, encouraged and challenged us. We began in Colossians 1 were there were three places in which it spoke about hope, verses 5, 23, and 27. The root of this word in the Greek was not as we expected. We went to the Strong’s concordance and all three of these “hope” words shared the same number, (1680 if you would be interested to know), meaning joyful and confident expectation.

Confident expectation, wow that doesn’t sound like we are wishing for something as I normally think of the meaning of the word hope. We then reread these verses exchanging the word “hope” for “confident expectation”, check it out for yourself it’s very powerful and it leaves little room for doubt.

I love 15-19; these verses are so full and rich. The words the author uses clearly depict Christ who is in total control and who is filled with the fullness of God for the very purpose of reconciliation. Folks, that’s why he came in the first place! Of course he loves you, no matter what, as we say in our family!

Verses 21-22 are power packed as it speaks of the condition of our minds at the time Christ died for us. So many people are deceived into thinking that they have to have their act together to come to Christ but he died for us when we were his enemy and bogged down in our evil behavior. We couldn’t even begin to be good enough for God to accept us. We had to have a Savior, a bridge if you will, to be accepted by God.

Romans 8:1-17 showed us how we are to live with the Spirit of God leading the way as we continued with our study. Christ actually was the offering for our sin and his blood made it possible for us to be reconciled to God (vs. 3-4). The purpose of the law or the 10 commandments was to show us the condition of our hearts, no one can live the 10 commandments perfectly unless the Spirit of God is in full control and he does it for us. Here again verses 5-8 speaks of our minds and how our thinking relates to the condition of our spirit.

When Christ came into my life I became a new creature, I now have a new spirit in me and a new way of thinking and behaving and the same is true of you if you have received Jesus as your Savior but the problem comes when we don’t believe what the word says about us. Because of the past, we have a hard time believing what God says it true about us, we return to the old ways of thinking instead of the new way we have been given. Paul is telling us who we really are in Christ under the inspiration of the Spirit of God and we must believe it. If we can believe the bible for our salvation then we can also believe what the bible says about us.

All this believing is also called faith, Hebrews 11:1 tells us what faith is… “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Ahh, there is the word “hope” again and this word in the Strong’s Concordance is number 1679 and it means “to wait for salvation with joy and full confidence,” doesn’t sound like doubt or wishing is a part of this “hope” either but rather something that is sure and something that will be completed.

From here we moved to Mark 11:12-33, Jesus curses a fig tree and even though it isn’t the season for figs (vs. 13) the tree withers from the root. We are to be ready in season and out of season, this is what is expected of us and there will be no excuses (2 Timothy 4:1-4). Jesus makes that clear to us through his demonstration. We have received the gift of faith in Christ Jesus now go and preach it!

Mark 11: 22-25 reiterates having faith and believing especially where prayer is concerned. It is interesting to also note that forgiveness is mentioned here in conjunction with prayer. We discussed how people often view forgiveness as for the person who has wronged us, but this verse states quite the contrary. Verse 25 states, “And when you stand praying, if you find anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Who does this verse say forgiveness is really for? For you, the one who has been wronged in order that you can BE forgiven YOUR sins by the Father.

Why would I want to risk not being forgiven by my Father in heaven because someone has wronged me? It makes more sense to forgive the person and receive forgiveness from the Father and let him deal with the wrong, God is the only one who can make it right anyway! What this scripture tells us is that when we don’t forgive it will affect not only our prayers but also our relationship with God.

Jesus goes on in this portion of scripture to assert his authority and defuse the religious leader’s authority. He reveals their hearts to the crowd and puts them in their place. Jesus is the one in total control never forget that and his light shines on us revealing our hearts as well!

Matthew 11: 1-15 was the last scripture that we read and what stood out to me was verse 14. Jesus plainly told the crowd who John the Baptist was by saying this… “And if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come.”

What a mouthful…. “and if you are willing to accept it” what more can I say other than the one who follows Christ must be willing to accept what he says through his word to be true. It is either all true or none of it is true. There is no gray area with God, no compromise.

Rest in Brokenness

2009-09-24T08:23:00.002-04:00

September 24, 2009

Wow this has been a crazy week for us! Monday morning we got the news that Jessi and Atlee’s dad had been in a terrible motorcycle accident. I went to school to pick up the kids and we headed for Fort Wayne. It was a familiar route because it was the one we took many times last year. When we got to the hospital all the sights, smells and sounds triggered a thousand memories.

Atlee commented that there were a lot of memories there as well. We headed up to the sixth floor on the elevator and saw a nurse that had taken care of Danni. She didn’t know who we were but I remembered her kindness. I went into the room first to check his condition before I brought in the kids. He was doing ok but his face was broken on the left side and he had lacerations all over from the road.

I went to get the kids and they came in and saw their dad. There was a few light moments as he joked with them and after a few minutes Jessi turned toward the door and said, “I think it’s time to go.” I watched her standing with her back to me in the doorway and something didn’t seem right, her shoulders were slumped over. I went to her to see if she was okay and her knees gave out and I caught her in my arms.

I lowered her to the floor and sat behind her as she leaned back into me. At that time she was very peaceful and seemed to be resting. It took a few minutes before she came around and she joked about having to move in with the fainting goats down the street. I think she was still kind of out of it but she was up on her feet and seemed to be alright.

Later as I thought about what had happened to her I realized that this was a picture of salvation. Her brokenness had worked its way to the surface and she fell back into my arms. This is what happens to us when in our brokenness we let go of everything and fall back into the loving arms of our Savior. He allows things to come into our lives not to punish us but so that we realize our brokenness and our need for him and finally let go and trust his strong arms to hold us. In this there is complete peace and we can rest.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Please pray for the kid’s dad that he will be restored inwardly and outwardly and pray for my children that they would be comforted and have great peace as their dad goes through surgery later this week or early next week.

2009 Blessings so Far...and Yet to Come!

2009-09-18T10:36:00.003-04:00

2009 has been a blessed year for our family so far and I would like to share with you some of those many blessings. The pictures above say it all.

We had three milestone birthdays this year, Mallorie our oldest turned 21 (top left pic), Wes her brother turned 18 (also top left pic), and Jessi turned sweet 16 (middle right) which also meant that she would join her brother and sister and like them receive cell phone privileges. She was quite excited. It also meant that the money Jessi had scratched and saved went to buy her first car! She was so happy. Atlee had a birthday too and he is 11! (bottom right pic).

We took a wonderful trip to Florida in January and had a great time of bonding and fun (center pic).

My dad came to visit us and we had lots of good God talks while he was here. Mom is coming October 1-15 for her visit so we are excited about that. They do a tag team visit because they work together at their job and someone has to be there to hold down the fort. ( lower left pic, if you haven't already guessed).

The center bottom picture is a sample of the times we've spent around our little fire pit sharing stories, laughing and cooking hot dogs and marshmallows.

The other pictures of flowers are to show how God has blessed me personally by giving me wonderful smelling flowers all summer long. (middle left pic) and the petunias at the top of the collage grew by themselves out of the crack between the sidewalk and front step. It was interesting to me that Danni liked to nap here occasionally and I have a picture of her doing so. I feel the need to mention that I have never had white petunias, I always buy brightly colored ones. This was a special gift to me that meant nothing to the rest of the world but meant a lot to me.

In October, Matt and I will also celebrate 4 wonderful years of marriage...(those pictures are yet to be made:})

I thank you, Jesus, for all the many blessings that you have poured out on us up till now and I know that there are many more in store for us as we continue to walk in your ways. I want to acknowledge your hand that took ours and helped our family through such a dark time. You are an awesome, faithful God and I love you very, very much. May you be praised forever more. Amen

Unbelief, the Taskmaster

2009-09-17T09:00:00.006-04:00

September 17, 2009

God is stirring so much in my heart this morning about courage, faith and believing. Joshua is a favorite book of mine from the Bible. It was a huge help to me as I went through the struggles of this last year.

Today I was in chapters 13 and 14. Chapter 13 is all about the land that was yet to be taken by the Israelites, they were to possess the land that God had given them for an inheritance but they had work to do. God had instructed them to drive out the nations that lived there so that they could claim what was theirs.

Man, I love Caleb’s heart in chapter 14; I want to be like that now until the day I die! Listen to what he says in verses 7-8, “I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh Barnea to explore the land. And I brought him back a report according to my convictions, but my brothers who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt with fear. I, however, followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.”

There were two things I saw about Caleb’s heart here:

1. Caleb reported based on how he was convicted not according to what he saw. He had faith in God and his capabilities. Caleb knew his God and he knew his ways. He had seen his power displayed many times before and he believed that God would help him take the land.

2. Caleb followed his God wholeheartedly. He didn’t waver a bit.

In the King James Version it says that Caleb followed “wholly.” I looked up this word in the Strong’s concordance and the literal meaning of the root of this word is to fill, be full, to be full, fullness, abundance (participle) to be full, be accomplished, be ended to consecrate, fill the hand, to be filled, be armed, be satisfied, to be accomplished, be ended, to satisfy, to fulfill, accomplish, complete, to confirm, to be filled.

Wow, what a mouthful! This was Caleb’s attitude toward what God had promised them as a nation and he held to these convictions. He was 40 and in Joshua 14:10 he says now he is 85, so because the Israelites didn’t believe God and they feared they were forced to wander the desert for more than 40 years until every last one of that generation died and their children were given the land (read Numbers 14 and Deut. 1:19-46), but Caleb is still serving and believing God with everything within him.

What a punishment for the people at that time, they had already wandered in the desert for 40 years and now because they would not believe and they feared they were given another 40 plus years to just wander and then die. This is what unbelief and fear do in our lives. This is a stern warning to us today. If we can believe that Christ died for our sins and that in our belief we are saved, then why can’t we believe him for other things that he has promised?

What has God spoken to you? I am challenged today and I challenge you to be like Caleb and believe with all that is in you, God said it and it is so! It is unfortunate but true that Caleb and the people's children had to suffer because of the unbelief of the adults in the group. How does our unbelief affect not only us but those around us?

I don’t know about you but it seems to me that it is much easier to believe God than to work so hard under the taskmaster of unbelief. I don’t want to waste my life wandering in a no-man’s land never seeing what God has promised and I don’t want to die there either!

God has a grand plan and I believe I am part of it as are all of you who have believed in him and many of you who have yet to believe in him and I want to see it all! I want to live all that God has planned for me and I don’t want to miss a thing! How about you? ……..Then be brave and BELIEVE!

The Best Time is Now!

2009-09-10T12:23:00.002-04:00

September 10, 2009

This week in our study we read from Daniel 5, John 17: 1-19, Acts 2 and Mark 11: 1-11. In Daniel 5 we saw the authority of God being displayed over an evil king of Babylon. Daniel is rewarded by the king for pronouncing judgment on him by reading the writing on the wall. God is in full control and he is righteous; allowing pride to rule over respect and humility where God is concerned is a deadly decision. We decided that we would rather humble ourselves as opposed to God humbling us.

John 17: 1-19 shows the heart of Jesus as he prays for himself, his disciples and other believers. In verse 3 Jesus puts life into perspective by saying, “Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” This is a powerful statement to show us the essence of eternal life that being to KNOW HIM! This is all that matters, if we know him, all of life falls into place. To know him must be our greatest urgency and priority in life.

Another interesting verse occurs in last half of John 17: 12, Jesus speaks of the one “doomed to destruction”. This was an interesting observation to us as it is not a generally accepted thought in the Christian society that there are those among us who are doomed to destruction. Judas was hand- picked by God for the very task of betraying Jesus. Judas was a devout disciple; he hung out with Jesus every day. He saw the miracles and he heard Jesus teach right from his own lips and yet here he is “doomed to destruction.” We talked about the fact that if there is no darkness we cannot perceive the light. God allowed darkness so that his light shines ever brighter and he receives all the glory.

Verse 15 may be a bit disturbing as well to those who believe in a “rapture” of the church. Here Jesus himself prays for his disciples (those who believe and adhere to the teaching of Jesus) that they NOT be taken out of the world but that they be protected from the evil one. I think that whether we are “raptured” or whether we go through tribulation doesn’t matter as much as the fact that we have eternal life as Jesus stated in John 17: 3, that we KNOW HIM and are prepared for his return. In our fast paced society we want everything to be easy and we want it now. Could there be a similarity between the “rapture” doctrine and the way we live? This is a question for the Holy Spirit.

Acts chapter 2 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible; I love it because the power of the Holy Spirit is on display! We discussed the reason for this display and came up with several reasons. The power was displayed to:
1. Prove to the people who had followed Jesus and the world that he was who he said he was. (Verse 36)
2. The power is shown to convict the hearts of the unbelievers and reveal their sin to them in order that they should repent and be saved! (Verse 38)
3. As all these people were speaking in the different native tongues of all the nationalities in Jerusalem at that time it was a sign that the salvation that Jesus died to bring us and baptism of the Holy Spirit is for everyone. (Verse 39)

It was a revelation to me to come to the understanding that the manifestation of the Holy Spirit is to help people believe and receive salvation. It doesn’t matter what the manifestation is be it healing, deliverance, speaking in tongues, or a million other ways God may choose, the whole point is to show people that God is real and he is who he says he is! The display of the Spirit’s power in my life was made clear to me and others around me as I walked with Danni through her time of cancer. This same power made itself known in Danni as well. I said many, many times as people asked me how I was doing it that it wasn’t me but the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me and in Danni! This is the truth and I experienced it! I give God the Glory and believe in him!

Mark 11:1-11 is the triumphal entry of Jesus. The people proclaimed prophetically with shouts of “Hosanna in the Highest” that Jesus came to save us. The whole study this week related to the coming of Christ and our readiness. Jesus will come triumphant again only this time in a spectacular display of power and majesty! Will you be ready? Will I be ready? Do we really know him?

Ask him to come into your heart today, confess your sins to him…he knows all about them anyway he sees everything, and believe in him. Ask him for the Holy Spirit to baptize you and fill you and get to know him, don’t put it off we have no guarantee of our next breath. Today is the day of Salvation. Now is the time.

Discouragement

2009-09-03T12:25:00.001-04:00

September 3, 2009

I confess that recently I’ve been having some trouble writing, it doesn’t seem to come from my heart and I struggle to finish an article without picking it to pieces and changing it over and over. It seems like when I took a step of faith to put the blog together in book form to have it published, that discouragement came in and took over almost grinding me to a complete halt in all my writing efforts which is one of the things that I am passionate about.

As I read Mark chapter 3, I was puzzled as to what the Lord was trying to say to me so I went about some daily chores to let the word sink in and give it time as I was meditating on it. I decided to listen to the radio and a pastor was speaking about discouragement and it made me think about the issues I’ve been having with writing. This pastor spoke about how discouragement came to the people who were trying to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem in Nehemiah.

They were trying to do something for God and faced opposition, frustration, exhaustion and discouragement. Then it hit me, here was Jesus in Mark 3 trying to be about the work that the Father had given him to do and he faces stubborn hearts which made him angry and deeply distressed him. (Mark 3:5) and the Pharisees wanted to kill him (Mark 3:6). Through all of this Jesus responded by heading for the lake to find renewing for himself and the disciples. I think he recognized that it was time to withdraw and regroup.

The enemy was working hard against his efforts, he sent demons and scores of diseased people to crowd around Jesus trying to wear him down and stress him out and what does he do but go to the mountains to continue the work the Father had called him to (Mark 3:13). The enemy is relentless crowding them again and again even so much that the word says at one point they couldn’t even eat (Mark 3:20).

When the enemy sees that this plan of action isn’t ruffling Jesus at all he sends in the big guns. His own family thinks he’s nuts and comes to collect him. What does Jesus do? He doesn’t even acknowledge the enemy’s attempts but keeps plugging away (Mark 3:21, 31-34). Satan is like a fly that buzzes constantly through the people around Jesus trying to bring him down and discourage him. He is provoking Jesus and even goes so far as to incite the teachers of the Law against him to say he has demons!

I envision him calm and cool as a cucumber as he looks at his accusers and asserts his authority warning them that they are about to cross the unforgiveable line. I can just imagine the look on his face and the faces of his accusers as he exposes their foolishness to the people (Mark 3:23-30). Jesus doesn’t let the enemy hold him back and neither should I! With his help, I can do whatever he asks of me in any situation and so can you!

What have I learned about watching Jesus deal with opposition, frustration, exhaustion and discouragement? I should withdraw to a peaceful place in God until I have gained strength, keep plugging away at what God has given me to do, and don’t even acknowledge the attempts made by the enemy to discourage me. I should also stand on the firm foundation of who I am in Christ.

This is a tall order but nothing is impossible with God at my side or at your side! With God’s help all things are possible! I am greatly encouraged today and I will persevere in God as Jesus did. Again I am reminded of Danni’s words as she lay in her hospital bed unable to get up… “Trust God and never give up!”

Fish and Focus

2009-08-29T23:14:00.003-04:00

August 28, 2009

Before bible study I had decided to try my hand at fish on the grill, it was a disaster. When I was done I had a huge pile of half cooked fish and the rest of it was stuck to the grill. Fortunately my family was gracious to me and enjoyed peanut butter sandwiches instead.

This is like what happens in life when I try to do things on my own. I make a huge mess of things. I was so frustrated and I got down on myself. I was thankful for our time of study which pulled me back on track and revealed that my thoughts had not been of the best things like Phil. 4:8 – 9 says.

This week as we read our first scriptures from 1 John 1-2, God began to do a work in my heart. We read about light and darkness and the love of the world. I was convicted when I realized that a lot of my thoughts center on worldly things. I made an adjustment in my thinking (repented) about the will of God verses my will. I saw it as all or nothing, in order for his will to be done my will has to completely die. I love how the Holy Spirit comes with his sweet conviction to keep us on target. He is reliable and I can trust him.

In reading Ephesians Chapter 3, I saw something I’ve never seen before; the prayer that Paul is offering on behalf of the people is so powerful. Verse 12 in particular revolutionized the way I will pray from now on. I can come with confidence and freedom to the very throne of God with every thought. As we were reading, John 10: 7-9 came to mind and I realized that I must pass through the “Gate” to get to the throne room. Because of Jesus, the “Gate,” I can have direct access to the Father’s attention.

It was amazing to me as I thought about this path to the Father in my prayer time. I felt very close to God and I had confidence in my prayers rather than just putting them out there somewhere. I had focus and joy filled me. I know without a doubt that the Father heard me. This isn’t some magic prayer formula but it did help me to visualize my position in Christ as I prayed.

As we went on I was so encouraged by Judges 6 and the story of Gideon. I can relate to him. He just wanted to be sure that God was with him and he was doing God’s will. In my own life, I have the same desires. I’m not interested in just being out there doing my own thing. I used to be very independent and I made a total wreck of my life.

Through my recent experiences with my daughter I’ve found that my heart has been changed to one that waits on the Lord in everything. In my experience, I’ve seen that if I wait on him instead of running ahead and doing my own thing he works situations out for me.

This doesn’t mean that I do nothing, I just do what he tells me and I don’t sweat the rest. Most times I think God works in spite of me. My goal is to be totally surrendered to him and be content in all aspects of life and this is all the work of the Spirit in me not because I can do it on my own.

I don’t always get it perfect as the first paragraph or so of this blog clearly points out. Finally, Philippians 4:4-9 sums up how I am to live life, rejoicing, praising, being thankful, prayerful and allowing only good things to consume my thoughts which definitely take constant power from the Spirit. I am not capable of this kind of living without Jesus.

So many days, I sit here and wait upon him hanging on every word. Or, I go about my day doing things around the house or working in my office always with a listening ear to the Father. I just want to do things to please him. He has brought my heart to this point. Sometimes I don’t realize he has been speaking to me until later when I have a “duh” moment, but the Holy Spirit is faithful and he wants me to “get it,” to understand and hear.

Jesus wants to give all his disciples understanding and he wants our eyes and ears focused on him constantly. We must remain in him at all times, this is how I have been challenged this week and I hope you have been too. God Bless

Believe Me

2009-08-20T15:18:00.002-04:00

August 20, 2009

As I was walking through the park today, I was praying to the Lord asking him what it was he wanted me to do about a certain situation I’m facing. The Lord’s answer to me was that he wanted me simply to believe him, believe that he could handle the situation and that he could provide. The scripture Matthew 6:24-35 came to mind as God gently reminded me that he knows what my needs are and that I am valuable to him.

When scripture is tucked away in your heart God has the ability to bring it to your remembrance at any time for his use and our benefit. What a powerful tool that cannot be taken away from us. I said to the Lord, “Well, if I’m not supposed to worry about all that, then what am I supposed to think about?” This was a dumb question but God was merciful to my pea brain and Philippians 4:8 rose in my heart. And I heard, “think about me!” Duh! Of course, thoughts of Jesus would be the perfect place for my mind during the day and Philippians 4:8 describes him to a tee.

I posed more questions to the Lord, “How do I believe? Am I doing it right? What does it look like to believe?” A picture came to my mind and I watched God reach out his hand to me, slowly I lifted my hand and cautiously placed my hand in his. “This is what believing me looks like,” he said to me, “you’ve done it many times, just put your hand in mine when you begin to doubt or fear tries to take over your thoughts and I will help you.”

What an awesome answer to my questions! I’m simple and I work best with pictures so that’s what God often uses to help me understand. He’s so kind and gentle. I wanted to share this today because I know that I am not the only one who struggles with believing God. Yet, this is vital to our walk with him. We must believe and have faith or the word says we won’t be pleasing to him.

Thank you for your kindness to me today, Lord, and for helping me to understand your ways and your heart in a deeper way. I give you praise, may this word help someone today. Amen

Direct from the Spirit

2009-08-18T11:40:00.005-04:00

August 18, 2009

As I thought about the comment from the last blog and my answer to the question posed about another site two other scriptures came to mind.

In John 14:26, Jesus says "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have said to you." In his passage from John 14:15-26, Jesus is reassuring us that we can rely on the Holy Spirit.

Also, 1 John 2:27 says, "As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit--just as it has taught you, remain in him."

The Holy Spirit is real and he is faithful to teach us all things. We can and should rely upon him for every issue of life. He won't lead us astray. We can trust him to make things clear. I wonder what his opinion would be? Interesting thought, I think I'll ask him! :}

Week 8 Predestined People

2009-08-17T08:47:00.003-04:00

August 17, 2009

Whew! We’ve had a busy weekend with the kids doing last minute family fun things and getting them ready for school. Thursday was wonderful as usual, we sat out on the patio and enjoyed the beautiful weather as we broke the bread of the word together.

We began with Deuteronomy 6 reading about how God expects us to love him and teach our children to love him. God encouraged the people to write the scriptures everywhere even to tie symbols of them on our foreheads and hands. God wanted the people to think about his word constantly from the time they got up to the time they went to bed and even as they lay in their beds.

God told the people that he would provide for every need but that the people needed to be obedient to his laws. Everything must be done God’s way, there is no gray area where he’s concerned and no compromise. I’m thinking about the way he provided for us during our time last year with Danni, we constantly went to him on everything. He was and still is the framework of our lives. Everything revolves around God and his purposes.

When my focus strays a bit to the right or the left he is there to say, “Just look at me.” It is almost like I’m walking a tightrope over a vast expanse and if I look down I lose my balance. This is the way we should live our lives, without him we perish and die. Deuteronomy 6:5 shows us what God should be everything to us.

James 5 talks about the dangers of hoarding wealth in the last days, we don’t realize the times we are living in and the importance of being able to hear the Spirit speaking to us. Wealth cannot be relied upon. Money is fleeting and a cruel task master if you let it be. This is a time to be following the Lord with patience as James 5:7 says, standing firm in what we believe.

It is a time to examine what it is we believe and know why we believe those things. It is a time to be praying and living by faith and not by what we see. Jesus is coming quickly, we must be prepared and alert!

Nothing is out of God’s control, everything happens for his plan and purpose and our good if we love him. Luke 2 was all about the predestination of the life of Jesus. Everything about Jesus’ life was predetermined by his Father for the purpose of the redemption of God’s people. Everything about the lives of Mary, Joseph, Simeon and Anna was also woven together for God’s purposes in his intricate plan.

Why do we think that our lives won’t be the same? If there are those of you that think that God doesn’t care about the little things of life, just look around. Look at the detail in nature and then say that God doesn’t care about the little things. Every detail is planned and right on schedule.

Ephesians 1& 2 pounds predestination, nothing is by accident! These scriptures are power packed and worth reading several times. I especially like chapter 2 verses 8 & 9, it makes it very clear that we had little to do with our salvation but that it was all about God and his choices not ours.

It throws a beacon of light into our very thoughts and heart motives; NOTHING WE DO GETS US SAVED. WE ARE SAVED BECAUSE GOD WANTS US TO BE! This is a process that comes from God through us not from us pushing works out of us. Even the works we are to do are predestined for us (see Eph.2:10)! For everything God calls us to do, he will provide everything we need. No worries!

The last part of Ephesians 2 shows us how we have become one with the Jewish people by the power of Christ’s blood being built together as one house for God to dwell in. Even Luke chapter 2 verse 32 echoes these words as Simeon prophesies over Jesus as an infant that he would be “…a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.” God has a plan and a purpose; our job is to believe and trust in him and he will take care of all the details.

I recently had a picture in my mind of me climbing a ladder, one rung at a time and God was behind me encouraging me to keep going up and up. At one point I began to get tired and he said to me, “ Lean back into me,” and as I did he held onto the ladder around me giving me rest.

God has our back, he is in control but we must be sensitive to his Spirit and be obedient and fully committed to doing things his way. These are precarious times in which we are living and we know from the word that things will become progressively harder. He’s teaching me to lean on him, trust in him, and believe him when directs my heart. I believe this is something he wants to do in all of his children’s lives, so if he calls to you today, make time for him…your life will depend on it.

Week 7- Who are We in Christ?

2009-08-08T14:12:00.001-04:00

August 8 2009

This week the study began in James 1 and it was appropriate that it began with words of encouragement not to doubt and but to persevere under trial. We learned that God doesn’t tempt us but he will use the enemy to test us even as he did Job.

In verse 21 it is clear that we “… must humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” Could it be that when we doubt and don’t believe that it is our pride getting in the way? We discussed the fact that either ALL the word is real and it works or we might as well scrap the whole thing. I remember facing this question in my own life when the mountain of brain cancer was before us. We must humble ourselves and believe.

Verse 22 gives a warning that we must not be ones who just hear the word and go on with life, no, the word is there that we should be obedient to it in its entirety! You can’t pick and choose because this is a form of doubt which this chapter says will make you double-minded and unstable in all you do. Either you believe or you do not believe… no gray.

Then we moved on to Matthew 7 which instructed us not to judge others, have persistence when in prayer, and believe. It’s easy to give up too soon but God wants our full attention and he will wait until we get serious with him. Verse 12 is put with this prayer section for a reason; how we treat other people is important to God and our prayer/answered prayer process.

We learned that “…narrow is the road …and only a few find it,” I have recently heard of a mamby pamby “gospel” that says there are other ways to eternal life and that God wouldn’t let so many people go to hell. This is trash from the pit of hell. Jesus says in John 14:6 (NIV) “I am the way and the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me…” This is clear! Don’t be deceived! God doesn’t want anyone to perish but he is holy and righteous and things must be done HIS WAY! JESUS!

This led perfectly into the next few verses about how to tell a false prophet by his fruit. We need to be very aware especially in these days. Don’t just take what someone says to you as gospel! You have direct access to the throne of God, USE IT! Think for yourself and take everything to God for confirmation. Use the word as a ruler and if what’s being said doesn’t match up, chuck it! It’s time for the Body of Christ to stop letting all the voices of the world and the cunning adversary tell us how we should believe or that we can’t believe. The Word of God is the moral absolute and without it we will compromise our souls.

Listen, if we don’t know the “Rock” and we haven’t built the house of our lives upon him, we will never make it through the storms of life. This is what Matthew 7:24-27 is all about. We must be building our relationship with him little by little every day! You may not think that the word is doing anything in your life until you are faced with insurmountable circumstances…then you will see what God’s word has done! Persevere, keep reading and studying and praying and asking and believing because this is for a time in the future when you will need everything that you have learned so …LEARN WELL…you’re spirit and others may depend on it.

I know this is a long one but hang in there; it’s worth your time. Next we went to Romans 2:17-28; who are the Jews became the question of the hour. Paul addresses the “better than thou” attitudes of the people and shows them through this passage that the people who called themselves Jews were Jews by race but not by heart and that the whoever believed and had the flesh taken away from their hearts by believing in Jesus were the true Jews.

Paul is also clear to point out that it is by the Spirit that all this comes in a person’s life not by the do’s and don’ts of religion. So through all this we discovered that if we have received Jesus as Savior and he has changed our hearts then we are the Jews, God’s chosen people.

We then went to Romans 9 to discover who the Israelites are and who Abraham’s children are. Verses 6 -26 would have been bold words at the time and really they still are today. Paul sheds light on who’s who pulling all people together to God giving the explanation that it is because God is God and he is in control that he can do what he wants and thank God he does! Again this has nothing to do with race but it is all about the heart.

All this gave us a new perspective on reading the bible, you have to know who you are in Christ and that none of it comes because you wanted it or because you do such great things but because of the work of the Holy Spirit and the righteousness of Christ which we gained through HIS death and resurrection and NO OTHER WAY!

We then read Ephesians 1: 4-13 to find out the truth about who we are and the assurance of the salvation which we have obtained through believing in Christ. These are not empty boastful words that I speak but scripture, it is the truth about who we are in Christ and it’s time for us to believe it and walk in it.

Last but not least we returned to Romans 8, read the entire chapter if you want…its all good but we started in 18 and read to 27. This talked about our groaning world and bodies that long to loose from the bonds of decay. It also brought “hope” into clear view. Verse 24 clearly states that because of the hope we have and (vs. 23) because of what Christ did on the cross we WERE saved. (Hey, I’m just quoting the word; God said it I believe it no doubting involved.) The word “were” indicates that it has already been accomplished. (Go back to Romans 9 1-5 and you’ll see what is ours and who it came by).

We discussed that if it is raining you can’t say I hope it will rain. That is no hope at all because it’s already raining! (End of verse 24) I like the way verse 25 is put in the Complete Jewish Bible version, it really brings it into focus, it says, “but if we continue hoping for something we don’t see, then we still wait eagerly for it, with perseverance.”

When I planted my watermelon seeds I believed they would grow but I didn’t see the growth so I waited eagerly for them to pop through the ground. This is the same kind of expectancy we wait with (only WAY MORE INTENSE) for the return of our Messiah and the fullness of all he will bring. Hallelujah!

Hope this helps, have a great rest of the week!

Week 6 - Actions and Compromise

2009-07-31T14:10:00.001-04:00

July 31, 2009

Greetings Believers! Here are some nuggets we gleaned from the bible study for daily life in Him. I pray that God will speak something to you as he did to us.

We began week 6 in 2 Timothy Chapter 2, there were many different things that were mentioned in this chapter to teach us all about living out what we say we believe. God was giving instructions though Paul to Timothy concerning many different situations that may come up in his time of ministry.

Verse two is important as Paul is telling Timothy to entrust his teachings to reliable men who can also teach others…Paul knew that one man can’t do it all and that there must be a sharing of the responsibility. He reminds Timothy that he is to behave as a soldier, athlete and/or farmer in regards to pleasing God and living by his principles. (Vs.4-7).

Paul was enduring hardship in chains in order that the elect would obtain salvation. (vs10) Am I willing to endure hardship for that purpose as well?

The saying in verse 13 especially caught my eye that no matter what God is faithful (this is my paraphrase)! How true!

We also must be people who correctly handle the word of truth (vs. 15) and the only way to be able to do that is to study the word of truth! I would like to challenge you as we were to think about what your plan of action would be if tribulation came upon the church today and we couldn’t do “church as usual”. Do you know the word well enough to handle it correctly? It is a sharp two-edged sword and it can cut others and ourselves deeply. It is also a powerful tool to protect and encourage you during hard times.

Verses 14, 16, and 19 talk about getting into “stupid” arguments over words. I think Paul is saying, “time to grow up church!” Verses24-26 shows how servants of the Lord are to conduct themselves when confronted with an argument of opposition in order that... “God will grant them (those who oppose) repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,” (NIV vs.25) People are watching us (believers) to see if we are who we say we are and if what we say we believe is real.

Another interesting side point is that we can’t even repent unless God grants it to us.
God then led us to Exodus 19, here again God is giving his man of the hour, Moses, instruction. Moses suffers for the people going up and down the mountain and entering into places others fear to tread so that they may be spared. God is Holy and we are to fear him with awe and respect. Things are to be done as he commands.

Sometimes I think the general consensus among believers is that we have the grace of God and therefore we don’t have to live exactly as the bible instructs us to. Can’t we have a little fun? I had an experience this week that I’d like to share. I took my kids school shopping and on the way they wanted to listen to secular music. Some songs came on the radio that I remembered from my youth and I said to my kids that they were good songs…until I actually heard the lyrics…YIKES!

Later that evening we were watching a show about a particular bounty hunter dude who shall remain nameless who says Jesus this and Jesus that and with his next breath says things quite the contrary. Now I am in no way judging this man because we all have things that God is working out of our lives, however, what this experience did do was to show me how my little compromises and having a little “fun” could ruin my testimony in the eyes of others. This reminds me of 2 Timothy 2 that we had read previously.

Bottom line is that God gives us instructions within his word about his holiness and how we are to live for a reason that being to live in such a way as to bring glory and honor to God. By the way, if you are reading this you must either have a test coming or there are some areas that God is speaking to you about and you know them as I did.

Don’t be like the people in Exodus 20:18-21 who didn’t want to go near to God on their own and just wanted to hear what God had to say through Moses. Listen to the encouragement of Moses in verse 20, “Don’t be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”

And verse 21 says… “The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.” It is sad in a way that the people chose not to draw near to God on their own but it is an encouragement to see that in the midst of the darkest thickest blackness God is there.

If you are wondering what I did about the music thing, here’s what happened…the Lord granted me repentance and I went to my children and repented before them for my compromise. They were loving and gracious with me as always and instantly forgave me. It was a wonderful teaching moment for all of us on the subject of compromise.

Please hear me, I don’t think secular music is bad but I am personally convicted that for my life it does no good. If I am going to have a song stuck in my head I want it to be full of praise for Jesus!

Week 5 - Wisdom from the Word

2009-07-24T09:32:00.002-04:00

July 24, 2009

Wow, this week was awesome! Here’s the list…James3: 13-18, James 4:1-10, Psalms 37, Jeremiah 12, Judges 3, Matthew 25: 1-13, and Daniel 10.

James 3: 13-18 – Two kinds of Wisdom. Where are we getting our wisdom? Under what spirit’s influence are we living our lives? The bible is very clear about the two sources being either good or evil and they are easy to recognize.

James 4: 1-10 – These first few verses give a clear picture of someone who is living life from evil wisdom and the last few give us the way to godly wisdom. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (Vs.6) Here we learned that we are to be humble before the Lord and this theme carried on throughout the evening. I’d also like to note that in verse 9, God wants us to get serious!

Psalm 37 gave us further examples of wisdom and instruction about living like God wants us to live. Chapter 37 was packed with promises and advise about the wicked. It seems like some people can live like the devil and have everything go their way. But Psalm 37 makes it clear what will happen to the wicked…they won’t get away with their wickedness and God will make sure of that.

There were many action words in this psalm and there are things we need to do on our part some of these words are…Trust verse 3, delight (4), commit (5), be still (7), refrain (8), turn (21), and wait (34). There were wonderful promises associated with these action words, check it out.

Jeremiah 12 fit beautifully with Psalm 37 as Jeremiah is frustrated about the wicked always getting their way. He complains to God about this even going so far as to tell God to butcher them like sheep! (vs.3) He vents his anger to God and God responds in verses 9 to the end of the chapter by saying…(my paraphrase) look, Jeremiah, if these little things distract you and make you mad what will you do when life really gets tough!?

God goes on to explain to Jeremiah just how he will deal with the wicked, first from among his own people and then from other nations. God ends with compassion for the wicked saying in verses 15-17 that he will restore anyone who does things his way but if they want to continue with their own ways they will be destroyed.

Judges 3 shows the crazy cycle that we all get on when idols get in the way of our relationship with God.
1. The people worshipped idols therein being disobedient to God (literally having an affair in his eyes).
2. God would send a nation to take them into captivity and slavery.
3. The people would cry out to God.
4. God would send someone to deliver them.

Not just in Judges can you see this cycle but it goes on and on throughout the bible and also in our own lives. In our society, we are enslaved to such things as payments, fatty bodies, food, money, credit card companies, trends, drugs, alcohol and the list goes on. We become slaves to the very things we worship just as the Israelites did.

Matthew 25: 1-13 reminded us to be ready and watching on every occasion for Jesus to return. I wouldn’t want to be caught unprepared when Jesus came, that would be very foolish. We touched on the fact that verse 5 says that all ten virgins were asleep. The virgins represent the church as we are the Bride of Christ. (Revelation 19:7-8, 21: 1-4)

Some were ready in a moments notice and some were not but even the ones who were ready were sleeping at the time. No one will have this thing down perfect but when the trumpet sounds it is too late to get serious about your faith in God.

Finally in Daniel 10, Daniel receives a revelation about future events from a man, but not just any man. This scripture shows us our frailty in the presence of God. Daniel becomes weak and falls on his face before the presence of God.

It is only as the man (Jesus) speaks to him that he gains strength enough to stand but even then Daniel says in verse 17 that he can’t even speak and is barely breathing. Again the man speaks to Daniel and as the words “peace, be strong now, be strong” are spoken he regains enough energy to speak.

We talked about how this is also a perfect representation of Ephesians 6:12 from last week. Without God we are nothing and cannot fight in the spiritual realm, even this man needed help!

We are to use the wisdom God gives us, to live godly lives pleasing to our Savior. It’s time to let the things of this world go that so easily ensnare us and run the race marked out for us from the beginning of time. It is a warning to every member of the Body of Christ to know him and be watching and ready for his return.

It is a cry from the heart of God to those who don’t know him to humble themselves before him and come to know him! In these end days, there is no more time for games! It’s time for every believer to live the life we’ve been called to and stop making excuses. This was a very sobering study for us but very necessary. I’m glad for the discipline of God that tells me of his love for me.

Week 4 - A Call to Go & to Stand

2009-07-18T12:30:00.002-04:00

July 18, 2009

This week our study was from Jeremiah 33: 1-11, Genesis 12:1-9, Genesis 2: 2-3, John 14: 1-14, Ephesians 6:10-18, Matthew 4: 1-11, and Proverbs 3.

There were several things that the Lord was teaching us this week and as promised here are the highlights. Once again we were in awe how the Holy Spirit organized his word to bring us a message.

We began with Jeremiah 33: 1-11 these scriptures refer to the restoring of God’s people. He wants to restore us, heal us and bless us but he will deal with sin. The verse that came out the most was verse 3 in which God says to his people “…Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

This fit beautifully with the Genesis 12:1-9 in which Abram is called by God to go by faith to a land God will show him. A blessing is also given to Abram and he obeys. Genesis 2:2-3 was about God resting from his creating. If God rested then surely we ought to rest as well. The rest of chapter two is about how God created man and woman…he formed us from the dust! He knows us inside and out.

John 14 pulled things together because here Jesus comforts his disciples telling about where he is going. He even goes so far as to tell them that they know the way to where he is going (vs. 4) and this sparks a question. Good ole Thomas is brave enough to ask in verse 5 which gives Jesus the open door “…I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me,” is Jesus’ answer. As his disciples call unto Jesus for an answer he reveals to them “great and unsearchable things.”

They are as Abram leaving all they knew following Jesus and he lovingly restores them to life through himself. Beautiful. Here is how the Old Testament promises God made come to life and this continues every day through each one of his people who follow him. Jesus continues to speak the truth to them by revealing to them who he is and who they are and the broad scope of what God will do through them!

Let’s recap…

1. Call to God and he will tell you things you don’t know; God wants to restore his people.
2. God blesses Abram and calls to him to go by faith to a place God will show him.
3. If God rested we can too. God formed us, he knows us intimately. God is in control.
4. Jesus is the way that we should go! God calls us and then by his sovereign hand leads and restores us but the only way is through Jesus.
5. If we know Jesus then we know the Father and He wants to do great things through those who know and follow him.

Then at this point the conversation seemed to switch gears to temptation and how to handle things that are thrown at us by the Adversary. Ephesians 6: 10-18 clearly shows us that we don’t battle against people so there is no need to take offense against anyone but that our battle is against “…rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (vs. 12)

There is a very real spiritual demention to life. We tend to live on the physical level but most of where the battle of life takes place is on the spiritual level. We talked about the armor that God has given us and how it protects us from the enemy.

It was interesting to us that in Matthew 4:1-11, Jesus was LED into the desert by the Spirit to be tempted. The question arose, “Does the Holy Spirit lead us to a place to be tempted?” Is this why Jesus teaches us to pray not to be led into temptation but to be delivered from evil in Matthew 6:9? Jesus does not resist the temptation on his own but says “It is written,” using the word of God (the sword of the Spirit from Ephesians 6).

If Jesus had to use the armor and weapons of God for spiritual warfare why do we think we can just handle things on our own? No wonder we get beat up and fail when temptation comes our way! Finally, we talked about wisdom, knowledge and understanding and how when we have these three we can easily see the underlying battle and quickly go to the Lord for help.

Proverbs 3 speaks of the value of all three of these qualities and how they help us in our every day battle to live in such a way that brings us life, prosperity and peace. It shows us how much we need God and his ways to make through this perilous journey.

God wants to restore us and bless us but sin has to go and Jesus is the way! Remember that the battle belongs to the Lord and he is always in control. If you find yourself in a place of temptation remember how Jesus responded and swing the sword of the Spirit cutting down to the truth of the matter. The word of God is powerful and it is our defense! Quickly turn to Jesus because he is the way!

Week 3- Bible Study Notes

2009-07-10T11:16:00.002-04:00

July 10, 2009

Week 3 of the bible study produced these results…the scriptures we read were:
Mark 11, Romans 12, Joshua 9 and Leviticus 10: 1-11. We had scriptures coming from every corner of the bible and yet once again they all fit together beautifully.

Mark 11 was where we began and the things that stood out to us in this chapter were:

Jesus tells his disciples to get a colt and without question they obey and find things just as Jesus said. Jesus comes into Jerusalem as the people, whether they understand the full meaning of what they are saying or not, acknowledge that Christ is the Savior. Then the gears seem to switch as Jesus curses the fig tree because it doesn’t have any fruit and then cleans the temple clock so to speak.

As Jesus goes out of the city past the same fig tree that has now withered, his disciples are amazed and it’s almost like Jesus says forget about the tree have faith in God this is just an illustration to teach you about believing and praying for something in faith. Faith and obedience runs throughout these scriptures. Trust in God!

We had a laugh over how Jesus handled the chief priests, teachers and elders in Matthew 11:27-33. They come to him thinking they have the authority and Jesus lets them know who is really in control! I love it! But we do the same thing when we come to God and say, “God! Why are you doing this?” Implying without thinking the question, by what authority do you do this to me? And the fact of the matter is that he doesn’t have to answer any of our questions, He is God.

In Romans 12, we were reminded of how we should act toward other people even if they wrong us. We learned that no one is above another and that we all have a part in God’s plan. Forgiveness is important if we want to be forgiven by the Father and revenge is God’s territory to deal with.

So to add to the thread, we have lessons in trust, faith, obedience, humbleness, and forgiveness. Sounds like we we’re off to a good start!

Joshua 9 is the story of how the Israelites got deceived by the Gibeonites because verse 14 says “… (The men of Israel) did not inquire of the Lord.” Long story short the Israelites made a treaty with these people and caused a lot of trouble for themselves down the road all because they didn’t ask the Lord what they were to do.

From here I think it’s safe to add to the ribbon of wisdom that we should continually ask the Lord about situations that arise especially where we think deception may be in operation in order to save us a lot of grief.

Leviticus 10:1-11 is an interesting story about two of Aarons sons who didn’t do things God’s way and were fried by him! Their father Aaron and his other two sons watched as God dealt with their disrespect and sloppy disobedience. Moses reminded Aaron that God’s judgments were righteous and that he should not mourn his sons who had been fried by the Lord’s presence.

Interesting enough in verse 7 Moses warns Aaron that he shouldn’t leave the Tent of Meeting because he would die because the Lord’s anointing oil was on him and after some other instruction he told Aaron that he must teach all the Israelites all that he had just learned.

To bring all this together we learned about trust, faith, obedience, humbleness, and forgiveness. We learned that no matter how we are treated we must leave that in God’s hand. We also learned to ask God what to do in situations where we feel that there may be deception involved before we make decisions.

And last but not least…God is Holy and he and his ways will be respected and obeyed and that experiences we’ve had with God must be taught to others in the faith. I’m sure that there was a lot more in the depths of the scriptures we studied but this is what the Holy Spirit revealed to us at the time and I have a feeling that there is more to come!

I love how God is leading us into very foundational things and putting them deep within us to build upon.

Bible Study Review

2009-07-05T20:42:00.002-04:00

July 5, 2009

It’s been a long weekend since we had our bible study but here are the scriptures the Lord led us to and what the Lord was saying to his Body. Ephesians 4:1-16, John 5: 16-47, Matthew 13 1:23, and Galatians 6:2

To recap last week’s bible study we learned that evangelism is simply speaking to others at the appointed time what God has done in our lives. God gives the “breath” or life and he is in control.

Ephesians 4 1-16: We are all one in the Body of Christ and God holds the body together (vs.6). We each have different gifts in dealing with people and we must work together to be the most efficient. It’s time to mature and not be children anymore in the things we believe. Speak truth to one another in love and remember again that God is in control.

This scripture spoke to us of who we are and the gifts God has given to each one of us for the purpose of building others up in the Lord to strengthen the Body. It was the overview of what God was speaking.

John 5:16-47 were words spoken from Jesus concerning the work that he was doing. We found it very interesting that in verses 19 and 30 Jesus tells the people that he can do nothing by himself but that it is the Father working through him. If Jesus can do nothing by himself then surely we ought to have the same attitude but often we think we can just handle things on our own.

The Father was in complete control even of the Son. The Father and the Son both give life and raise the dead. There are two kinds of dead people. Verse 24 says (NIV), “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life.”

The first kind of dead are those who are walking around who have not heard the word and believed in Christ. They are dead men walking. They have not crossed over from death to life. You must be one who is not in the grave to hear and believe. Jesus goes on to tell the people that “… the time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live.” (Vs.25 NIV)

Jesus is speaking to the people right then about himself but as we will see some heard (or understood) what he was saying and some didn’t. Jesus goes on to tell the people that he is the one who judges who will receive and have life and who won’t. That sure blows the “God box” doesn’t it?

Jesus continues his teaching about the other kind of dead in verse 28 and he says “…for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and COME OUT!” (Emphasis mine). WOO HOO! This is my personal favorite kind because Danni will be coming with them!! HALLELUIA!!

So, in order to hear up to this point what God was and is saying is simply this…we who are “alive to Christ” have gifts and a job to do to encourage those who are in Christ and speak the gospel to those who are with us as “dead men walking”. It is God who is control and does the work and he decides who, what, when and where. We just need to have an understanding of the challenge we are faced with and a willing and obedient heart.

The Holy Spirit went on to teach us in Matthew 13: 1-23 about the different ways that people receive or don’t receive the gospel and why.

In verses 3 & 4, a farmer is sowing seed and some of it falls on the path and gets eaten by birds. Jesus explains in verse 19 that these are people who hear but don’t understand the word and Satan comes and steals it from them.

Verse 5 & 6 says that the seed falls on rocky places where there isn’t much soil but it springs up only to be scorched by the sun because the soil is shallow and the plants don’t have any roots. Verse 20 sheds light on the deeper meaning of this verse speaking about the person who receives the word with joy but because the seed doesn’t take root his enthusiasm for God lasts only a short time.

Verse 7 talks of the seed that has fallen into thorns and is choked out; the meaning of this comes in verse 22. These are people that the worries of life and their wealth stop them from growing in their knowledge and understanding of the word.

The last is who we all want to be (vs. 8) the good soil multiplying a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown into it. The answer comes in verse 23, “… is the man who hears the word and understands it.” This man is promised a bumper crop! It is a done deal! These are laws and principles of the Kingdom of God.

There are promising and warning words that Jesus speaks to his disciples in verse 12, “Whoever has will be given more, and he will have abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.” Here again Jesus is asserting his control as he is the “judge” of these things as we learned in John 5. As a side note, further down in Matthew 13 is the story of the mustard seed and I encourage you to take some time and think about this parable and verse 12 together.

Jesus quotes Isaiah 6:9-10 in this passage citing people who close their ears, eyes and hearts not wanting to hear or see what God wants to speak to them. Doing this causes their hearts to become calloused over time so that they can barely see, hear or understand God’s words to them. One more time Jesus conveys his control over the matter telling the disciples that these things were being revealed to them but not to others. (Vs.17).

I can see how God is building from the last bible study to now and I greatly anticipate hearing his voice again next week. I want to acknowledge that it is the Holy Spirit who is guiding us as I have no virtue within myself and I thank him for his great grace that he so freely gives to us, the Body of Christ.

God is not one to play favorites and the same Holy Spirit that was in Jesus, John, Peter, Paul, and the list goes on is the same Holy Spirit in you and me teaching and training us for what is to come. I am humbled to sit and learn more about him from him.

To Mona

2009-07-01T10:08:00.003-04:00

July 1, 2009

We have recently crossed the 6 month bridge from Danni's day of healing.

I just want to say thank you to Mona who sent me her loving words.

Your kindness to me brought tears to my eyes and God's love to my heart. Thank you for your obedience to him, your words came with his perfect timing.

God's blessings to your and yours,

Christy

Bible Study

2009-06-26T08:34:00.002-04:00

June 26, 2009

We had a wonderful time at our first bible study last night and we will continue to have it every Thursday at 6:30 pm. All are welcome. The following are some highlights from last nights study.

John 3:1-8, John 20:21-22, Genesis 2:7, Ezekiel 37:1-14, Psalms 42 and 2 Corinthians 3:1-6.

These were all scriptures that the Lord had spoken to us individually during the day and when we came together it was beautiful to see how the Lord had fit them all together.

John 3:1-8: Jesus wants us to be converted or born again in the spirit; spirit gives birth to spirit. It is the spirit of a man that needs to change and it is God's spirit that does this miraculous work. If we try to change ourselves in our flesh we will only "give birth" to more fleshly ways.

John 20:21-22: Jesus breathes on his disciples after his Resurrection and tells them to receive the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit living within us that changes us and equips us to be sent out to others.

Genesis 2:7: Man is formed but does not come to life until God breathes into him. The Holy Spirit is life to us and we are dead men walking without his presence in our lives.

Ezekiel 37:1-14: God directs Ezekiel to prophesy to the dry bones to come to life and they assemble themselves but are not living until God directs Ezekiel to prophesy again for the men to be breathed into by God's Spirit. God says in verse 14 that he will "put his spirit in them and they will live..."

It is God that gives us every breath and every breath is his! Without him we can do nothing. He gives us life and he puts us into a position as his children filled with his life to speak to others in need of his spirit so they too can "come to life".

Psalm 42: Here David is panting and thirsting for the living God, the God who gives life and he is being pursued and taunted by the enemy, "Where is your God?" (Vs.3 and 9, 10). The enemy wants to put condemnation upon David but David speaks truth to his soul commanding it to put its hope in God and praise him.

As the deep parts of David cry out to the deep parts of God, spirit to spirit he is refreshed by the waterfalls, waves and breakers of God's love coming upon him. The Spirit of God is the place we need to go to get refreshed and revived. We can be safe from the enemy there.

2 Corinthians 3:1-6: Living under the law kills our spirit because there is no way we can live up to every command but here again the Spirit gives life. God makes us competent to minister to others the new covenant of Christ's blood and when we witness to others our most powerful tool is not that we have all the verses in the bible memorized but our personal testimony, our personal experience with God that no one can argue with or take it away from us.

Revelation 12:11 says "They overcame him (the dragon) by the blood of the Lamb (the new covenant) and by the word of their testimony;.." Our testimony is the only thing we have experienced and therefore the only thing we can bear witness too. But that is where the power of the Holy Spirit comes forth from us when we share our experiences with others!

Always keeping in mind that God is in control and he "sets up" the witnessing situations...we don't have to go looking for them and we can trust him to do so. All we need to be is willing and obedient.

It always has been all about God and it will continue to be all about God!

Feel the Chill, Stoke the Fire!

2009-06-19T08:38:00.001-04:00

June 18, 2009

Have you ever noticed how cold the world around us seems to be getting? It seems as though there is very little love in the world, like it’s in short supply. Reading Matthew 24 is like reading the news paper, verse 12 is the verse I woke up thinking about today and it says, “Because of the increase in wickedness, the love of most will grow cold…” (NIV). It was also very interesting to me to read this verse from my Complete Jewish Bible which says, “And many people’s love will grow cold because of increased distance from Torah (God’s written word).”

Each day seems like an ever increasing battle to fight the chill that wants to paralyze our hearts. Many days we don’t even realize the slow effects of it. The further we get from the word of God the colder we become. The love and word of God are like a cozy fire that melts the icy affects of the circumstances around us.

Our family loves camp fires; we love to sit around a warm fire and share stories and laugh and roast marshmallows. The warmth of the fire seems to bond us together. It is interesting to me the influence that the red-orange glow has on us but even that doesn’t last forever. My husband and son are usually the ones who keep the fire nice and toasty.

It’s almost like they were instinctively made for the job, they know just when to take the poker and stir the fire or when it’s time to add another log or two. If they neglect it, the fire goes out. Our walk with God is much the same. He knows when to take the poker and stir our hearts and he is very good at making the fire hotter!

Although God is skilled at stirring the faith fire that is within us Jude 1:20-21 (NIV) indicates that we have a part in the growth and development of our spirit. It says, “But you, dear friends, build yourself up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.”

In reading this verse I asked the Lord, “How do I keep myself in your love?” and I heard the word abide (from KJV) and instantly thought about John chapter 15:1-13. What does it mean to “abide”? The Greek word used in this scripture is “Meno” meaning…

to remain, abide
in reference to place
to sojourn, tarry
not to depart
to continue to be present
to be held, kept, continually
in reference to time
to continue to be, not to perish, to last, endure
of persons, to survive, live
in reference to state or condition
to remain as one, not to become another or different
to wait for, await one

So, now I saw what I must do but how? How do these instructions make it from words written on a page into real life? Into my life? How do you live life going to work or doing the things that life requires and yet never leave the Lord’s presence?

Jude 1 gives us a clue to this question. Who is it that is the golden thread throughout the New Testament? He does his work from the background, intricately working behind the scenes to accomplish the will of God through man. He is the Holy Spirit. He is the one who keeps us on track and fellowships with us every minute of every day.

There are many verses that reveal his invaluable part in our lives such as: John 14:26, Acts 1:8, Acts 9:31, Acts 10:38, Romans 5:5, Romans 14:17, Romans 15:13 and so on.

All throughout the New Testament his name and workings in the human heart are testified to and we won’t get far without his presence in our lives. 1 Corinthians 6:19 reveals to us that the Holy Spirit lives inside of us but how does he get there? Luke 11:13 gives us this answer directly from the mouth of our Lord… “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

So, if we ask God, we will receive from God the Holy Spirit and he will cause us to remain or abide in God which we so desperately need to stoke the fire of God’s love in our hearts to keep us burning brightly for his glory until the end!

Thank you, God, for your provision for all who call upon your name and receive salvation from your son Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit, that you teach us all things, keep us abiding in the vine and keep the fire of God’s love burning warmly in our hearts. Thank you, Jesus for bringing us salvation through the shedding of your blood on the cross and for baptizing us with the Holy Spirit so that we can endure to the end. AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!

THOSE People!

2009-06-15T11:35:00.004-04:00

June 15, 2009

Acts chapter 10, Acts chapter 10, Acts chapter 10…it seems that every time I go to read the Word lately that is where I am. What is it about Acts 10 that the Lord is trying to get through my head to my heart? This morning I was reading it in my Complete Jewish Bible version trying to get some insight and I came upon a verse that spoke loudly to me.

First, let me give you some background as to what Acts 10 is about. A Roman army officer named Cornelius who was a God fearing man and who was generous to the poor is in prayer one day and he is visited by an angel. The angel tells Cornelius that his prayers and gifts to the poor have come before God as an offering.

The angel tells Cornelius to send for Peter who is staying by the sea at the home of a friend. So Cornelius sends some guys to get Peter and bring him back to his house and in the meantime Peter has a vision. In the vision, he sees a sheet let down from heaven with all kinds of animals that good Jewish boys definitely do not eat and Peter is told to kill and eat the animals.

Peter says to God in verse 14, “No sir! Absolutely Not! I have never eaten food that was unclean or treif.” (Treif is literally “torn” since meat torn by wild animals is forbidden under Jewish dietary laws, treif means by extension “non-kosher”)(CJBV Glossary of Terms section)

Anyway, just about the time Peter is completely puzzled about what this vision means the men whom Cornelius has sent arrive where Peter is staying and God tells him it’s okay to go with them.

The fellows stay as Peter’s guests for the night and in the morning they and some other followers of Christ head for Cornelius’ house. When they arrive Peter is greeted and here we are to my point…thanks for hanging in there with me…

Peter says in verse 27-28 “As he talked with him, Kefa (Peter) went inside and found many people gathered. He said to them, “You are well aware that for a man who is a Jew to have close association with someone who belongs to another people, or to come and visit him, is something that just isn’t done.

But God has shown me not to call any person common or unclean….” God was breaking down division walls between the Jews and Gentiles (non-Jews) in the mind of Peter. Those last few words struck my heart.

God is challenging me to look at every individual in a different light, in a way that he views us. So many times, I think that we as followers of Jesus don’t get what he was all about. We find ourselves in a position much like Peter, in that, we don’t associate with “THOSE” kind of people whomever they may be.

As I’m writing, I’m thinking about a lady who was tending a cash register at a store in which I was in line to purchase something recently. There were several men of a certain nationality standing in the line with me and the cashier was of another nationality and after the men purchased their items and left she said to me something about “THOSE people.”

I was floored and it seemed strange to me that she would say something like that being of a certain nationality that other nationalities say “THOSE people” about. Are you totally confused or do you get my point?

I am sure at one point or another in the cashier’s life she had been discriminated against and yet she stood and did the same to another nationality that her nationality was prejudice against. I hope I haven’t confused anyone…maybe this will help, God’s word always has a way of making things clear.

Genesis 1:26-28 “Then God said, “Let us make humankind in or image, in the likeness of ourselves ;…( vs. 27) So God created humankind in his own image; in the image of God he created him: male and female he created them…. (vs 28)God blessed them: God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it….”

So God created us all in his image and we all came as a result of God blessing us. We all have fears and reservations we have been taught about each other through our grandparents and parents and their parents and it goes on and on, but I am confident that the prejudices and traditions I have acquired through my family and my own experiences concerning other nationalities must be eliminated from my heart because we are all created in God’s image.

God wanted Peter not to look at anyone and say they were common or unclean, this was a stretch for him I’m sure but I’m glad that he trusted God and overcame his fears and the traditions of his people so that we (the Gentiles) might know Jesus, the Messiah, the Way to Salvation.

Now, because we are all learning how to live this new life Christ has given us there is no need for condemnation but there is a need for repentance. Father, I acknowledge and I repent for walking in fear where people of different customs and nationalities other than my own are concerned.

Break down the walls and traditions of my people that are in my heart, let your perfect love come and cast out all my fears. Help me to begin to see what you see in people, help me to see your image and treat every life as precious and uncommon. Give me the ability to discern the hearts of people and treat them as you would. Let your peace rule and reign in my heart by faith. In Jesus name, Amen.

What is God thinking?

2009-06-10T12:52:00.005-04:00

June 10, 2009

What does God think about? Have you ever wondered? Today I did a study on the word “thoughts”. I wanted to know what the word had to say about this subject and I came across many verses that pertained to the thoughts of God and what he knows about the thoughts of man.

Psalms 92:5 (Complete Jewish Bible version- CJBV) says, “How great your deeds, Adonai! How very deep your thoughts.

Psalms 94:11 shows us what God knows about the thoughts of people… "Adonai understands that people’s thoughts are merely a puff of wind.” This verse really puts us thinkers in our place! We think we’re so smart :).

As I read Psalms 139 I realized how much he thinks and knows about us, he knows when we sit and stand, he knows our thoughts and is familiar with our ways. He knows the words we will speak and he protects us on every side.

There is no where we can go to get away from God; He is everywhere, all the time. He is the one who put us together in our mother’s womb, scripture says. He viewed us as we were being formed and nothing is a secret with God.

This verse blew my mind (Ps 139:16)(CJBV) “Your eyes could see me as an embryo, but in your book all my days were already written; my days had been shaped before any of them existed.” Wow, this says he saw me as a “clump of tissue” as some would say and yet every day that “clump of tissue” would live was written and shaped before any of them even existed.

It sounds as if an embryo is something more sacred to God than just a mass of cells stuck together. God cares so much about the embryo that he has already written and shaped every day that child will live before any of those days have been lived.

As I think about my life, if every day has already written and shaped specifically for me, why do I worry about doing something right or wrong with the day I’ve been given? Hasn’t it all been laid out for me in perfect order just as God has ordained? No wonder he doesn’t want his children to worry.

What really blows my mind is to think that Danni’s life was also written and shaped.

I find it strange how I began this with the thoughts of God and have come to this point. Every day I get up and think about what I will do in that day but according to this scripture, God thinks differently.

What if I would start to see things God’s way? What if I would stop worrying about the events of the day to come and just rest in the fact that he has every day predetermined and well within his control?

I agree with Isaiah 55:8-9 that says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways,” says Adonai. “As high as the sky is above the earth are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” God sees everything and thinks about things in a completely different way than we do.

Amos 4:13 proclaims “He who forms the mountains, creates the wind, and reveals his thoughts to man…” He reveals his thoughts to us.

Job 12:22 says “He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light” and again in Daniel 2:22 “He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.” So nothing is made known to us except what God shows us. No one has a corner on God and if we care to know his thoughts he will show us.

Jeremiah 33:3 says “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

These are words of truth that can be relied upon. God knows all and sees all and if you are his child and you ask he will take you into his confidence revealing his very thoughts to you. How else could David say in Psalms 139:17 “How precious are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!”

God is not shy about giving his opinion or sharing his thoughts! Trust in his character and his word, he will always be true to them. He will speak to you if you are patient and willing to listen.

Lord, open our eyes and ears to hear you clearly. Help us not to block the things we don’t want to hear. Now more than ever we need to hear your voice and we say as Samuel did in 1Samuel 3:10, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” Amen.

Remembering Danni

2009-06-08T11:21:00.001-04:00

June 8, 2009

Today, I sit in the silence of my living room with the hum of the refrigerator in the background in a beautiful breeze blowing from the front to the back of the house and I’m thinking about Danni’s life. She was so strong and beautiful even to the end. How did she develop into such a wonderful creature?

I can’t believe that it has been more than six months since she went on to be with the Lord. Recently, we have shared many memories of her as a family. It is interesting to see the things that trigger such memories. Something as simple as eating a certain way or a look on my daughter’s face can remind us of the silly things she used to do.

Jessi, my daughter, can imitate Danni’s “T-Rex” dance to a tee! She would sit in her wheelchair and sway her head from side to side while punching out her arms. Though it’s hard to describe believe me when I say it brings a smile to my face. Danni just found other ways to do the things she wanted to do.

She was so sweet; I have so many fond thoughts about her. I thank God for experiences with her that can never be erased or taken from me. Some days I forget how precious life is. Circumstances take over and I don’t live every day to the fullest as I should. God forgive me.

I have days where self-pity takes the day and it is then when God reminds me that I have not suffered unto blood. (Hebrews 12:4) Self-pity is too expensive, I can’t afford it. Danni didn’t pity herself in all she suffered. She wouldn’ t allow me to feel sorry for her either. Whenever I would say that I was sorry she had to go through this she would say, “why, it’s not your fault.”

I was writing a speech I’ve been asked to give for the Relay for Life organization in Lagrange Indiana this weekend and I was reminded of her words when she was asked what she had learned from all she had been through. Her answer was, “Trust God and never give up.” This had to come from the Spirit of God within her. The human in us, our old nature, sits in our stuff and wallows.

Her mental attitude was more than half the battle, it was everything. God kept her strong and helped her to see clearly. What an awesome gift! God doesn’t leave us alone during our times of tribulation but he is there by our side waiting for us to reach out to him.
My prayer is that I can withstand the rest of life’s challenges and tests as she did with grace and dignity, humor and humility. God’s work in her life was simply remarkable. God is real and his word really works we just have to believe it. God even equips us to do what pleases him. (Hebrews 13:21 and Philippians 2:13)

I think this pep talk is mostly for my benefit today, sometimes you have to build yourself up in your faith, and give yourself a talking to! It’s a good to remind yourself who God is and what he has done!

Need or Want?

2009-06-03T06:02:00.002-04:00

June 3, 2009

What is it about the human condition that we always think we need more? We are never satisfied with the provision that God supplies. Our van is old and has over 170,000 miles on it but it still runs good and yet we’ve been looking at newer vehicles.

It seems like everywhere you turn these days there are car ads like liquidations!, blowouts!, everything must go! People are in debt up to their eyeballs and it seems like more debt is being thrust upon them. Car makers themselves are going bankrupt because they are overextended and their goal is to dump their debt on to the American public.

It may just be the crazy way I think but I wonder if Jesus was tempted to have the newest horse and chariot in his day. When Jesus wanted to go to the nearest town he was hoofing it. Maybe for him it was just the newest pair of sandals.

It says in Hebrews 4:15 (NIV) “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet without sin.” So according to this scripture I could conclude that he was tempted in this manner.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy a new or used vehicle if you need one but I’m not sure we do. Even Atlee said to me the other day, “I’m not sure we need a new car.” What a bright boy and he is only eleven years old! Maybe we’ll take his advice and wait until our old one dies.

So what is the root of all temptation? Where does this stuff come from? 1 John 2:15-17 (NIV) says “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”

Isn’t it amazing the things we do to please our stomach, our eyes and our egos? We will go to great lengths working endless hours on the job to give ourselves and our kids a better life than what our parents had but is it so much better? I’m sure if we asked our children they would rather have less stuff and more time with us.

Yesterday I went to see a lady in our community who is dying of cancer and it reminded me so much of Danni and her last days on this earth. I was amazed again at what is important in life. As she lay there on her death bed it wasn’t things she needed to make herself look “cool”, it wasn’t cars or beauty or all the trappings of this life.

She just needed Jesus and nothing more.

I love how God has a way of putting things into perspective for me. Lord, I thank you for shedding your light on my heart. Please quiet the distractions in this life that I may have that which is most needed…You.

God's Garden

2009-05-26T11:48:00.003-04:00

May 26, 2009

Sunday morning I was watering our garden and flowers before church and as I was doing this I began to think about all the elements in the garden. There are so many answers to life’s questions in the simplest of things.

As I watered I thought about how I was watering things and what my reasoning was behind my methods. Why did I water some things and not others? Why did I use gentle pressure with the hose on some things and use full force elsewhere? I thought about how God deals with us and I wondered if many of his motives behind his methods were similar.

I looked at the various plants that I had placed around the house and the Lord began to speak to me about people as compared to certain plantings. There was so much there right in front of me.

Some plants were scrawny with just a few leaves; they had just been planted and needed extra attention. Those I watered gently. Some plants were sturdy but had been gnarled by the recent cold snap; I also watered them with extra care. There were those trapped under the ground so I had to use a forceful spray to penetrate the hardened soil to allow the water to reach them. They needed to be softened, nourished and awakened from their dormant sleep.

I could see every phase of my life in the canvas of my garden. There was so much there I don’t think I can put it all into words. Some plants were full of blooms and in others I could see the potential to be full of blooms. I have this wisteria plant that has been growing for some time but has never bloomed.

It made me think of the fig tree in Mark 11; Jesus cursed it and caused it to wither because it didn’t bear fruit. My wisteria isn’t doing what it was meant to do and sometimes we as people don’t do what we are meant to do so God prunes us as I will do to my plant. It has all these tendrils reaching out every which way that are unproductive and could become a menis if they are allowed to continue.

Sometimes we don’t understand why things happen in our lives but the Gardener is in control and he prunes us and waters us with different pressures to cause us to flourish and produce glory for him.

Sometimes like the plants that are established in my landscaping, the more mature don’t need constant watering. These plants have been through several seasons and have learned how to trust the Gardener for what they need, they have learned to dig deep into the soil and survive the heat of summer and the bitter cold of winter.

I am so amazed at what creation will tell us about the character of our Creator God and his ways if we will just take time to observe it. We are all at different seasons and growth cycles in our walk with the Master Gardener and there will be times where we are watered well every day or denied water or pruned or allowed to grow and expand all for his glory.

He is the one who controls it all and it is for his glory and he holds it all together ...we are just different varieties, planted in a community plot of land and our Gardener looks after each one of us weeding out those things that are detrimental.

There are several scriptures that I came across this morning in my study of God’s garden such as Genesis 2:8, Job 8:8-19, Song of Solomon 4:12, 16, Isaiah 5:7, 51:3, 58:11, and 61:3, 11, and Jeremiah 31:12. There are many other places in the bible where a garden is mentioned but the following one caught my attention and I found it very appropriate as I thought about it…

John 19: 41(NIV) “At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid.” Jesus was laid to rest and resurrected from the midst of a garden…how beautiful, how appropriate, how loving and thoughtful is our God! Glory to his name!

Life.....Death... NEW LIFE!

2009-05-19T13:11:00.005-04:00

May 19, 2009

Yesterday morning I got a call from the memorial company that Danni’s stone had been set so I finished ironing and got my shoes. I had loaned our son my van so I didn’t have a way over to the graveyard to see it. I had a thought and within minutes I was making my way down the road on my daughters bicycle.

Danni is just across the field in the neighboring graveyard so I thought it would be a nice ride. I was struck by the quiet as I rode along; I couldn’t even hear the gears as I peddled. It was a nice day and soon I was turning into the little lane that bordered the cemetery.

I rode past markers that were old and new to the spot where we had laid her to rest. I took a picture of it and admired the workmanship with my fingers. There is something that happens when you see the grave marker in its place. It’s almost like a “period” at the end of the sentence of life. Everything is done and over with, complete.

Later that evening our family drove over to see Danni and bring her some solar “disco” lights as we called them that flash red, green and blue. She always did love to dance and she loved color, especially red, so I thought that would be appropriate for her little plot of land. We pounded them into the ground and checked them to make sure they were even.

Every time I go there to visit I think about 1Thessalonians 4:16 “For the Lord will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.” I can envision her coming forth from the ground with her new body that is imperishable ready to live and reign with him wherever he so desires.

What an awesome hope I have, what an awesome promise to someday see her and all our loved ones who have passed be raised to newness of life. Maybe I’ll be raised as well if the Lord takes me home between now and then.
The grave is not the end, but the beginning. And so I wait patiently, as we all do. Come quickly Lord Jesus, come quickly!

Hope for Dung

2009-05-14T10:33:00.002-04:00

May 14, 2009

Lately, the Lord has been speaking to me about having a bible study and I’ve been dragging my feet. What if no one comes? God, I don’t know how to do that. A thousand other excuses come to mind. To be honest , I know this is God’s direction to me but the “what if’s” and the “I’m the least likely ones” have been holding me back and I’ve been plain miserable that’s how I know for sure it’s God.

When I’m not obedient God makes life a walk in the mud, he bogs me down until I can’t go anymore. When I was obedient and repented and took the first steps to organize things the ground became firm again.

Recently, I’ve been reading Zechariah 3. It’s an interesting scene that the Lord is revealing to the prophet and God has touched my heart with it. Many times we don’t see our sin in the way God sees it but his heart of compassion loves to cleanse us and give us freedom from the sin that takes us captive.

In Zechariah chapter 3, God shows Zechariah the man who is the high priest at that time named Joshua standing before God with the Angel of the Lord on one side and the Accuser (Satan) on the other. This scene is played out in each one of our lives, we all stand condemned….until…

Zech 3:1-7 (CJBV) reads as follows… “He showed me Joshua the cohen hagadol (high priest) standing before the angel of Adonai (my Lord) with the Accuser (Satan) standing at his right to accuse him. Adonai said to the Accuser, “May Adonai rebuke you, Accuser! Indeed, may Adonai, who has made Yerushalayim (Jerusalem) his choice, rebuke you! Isn’t this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?”

Joshua was clothed in garments covered with dung; and he was standing before the angel, who said to those standing in front of him, “Take those filthy garments off of him.”

Then to him he said, “See, I am taking your guilt away. I will clothe you in fine robes.” I said, “They should put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and gave him fine robes to wear, while the angel of Adonai stood by. Then the angel of Adonai gave Joshua this warning:

“Adonai-Tzva’ot (the Lord of heavens armies, the Lord of Hosts) says this: ‘If you will walk in my ways, obey my commission, judge my house and guard my courtyards; then I will give you free access among these who are standing here.”

What a beautiful picture of salvation, we stand before the Lord Almighty covered in dung. This was the high priest may I remind you. If any man wouldn’t need to be cleansed from guilt and shame surely it would be him but that is not the case. This was God’s chosen man to represent the people in His presence and he needed to be forgiven, delivered and cleansed.

Here he stands dirty and stinky before God, Satan his Accuser and the angel of the Lord. I love the imagery of a “burning stick snatched from the fire” this is so true of all of us. It doesn’t matter who you are or what “office” you hold we are all this way until we invite Jesus into our lives and he gives the order for us to be cleansed and fitted with fine robes.

I love how Zechariah chimes in and says, “put a clean turban on his head” and God obliges him. This is another picture of Jesus the Messiah that covers us and makes us clean and white.

Then Joshua is given a warning and a promise that if he walks in the ways of the Lord, obeys the commission given him and attends to the needs of God’s people and God’s house that he will be given free access to those he is standing among.

I was so encouraged by this today that God sees our sin and hears the accusations but his heart of compassion and righteousness says in Isaiah 1:18 “Come now, let us reason together,”says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

But even this scripture contains a promise and a warning as it goes on in verse 19 “If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” (NIV)

God is compassionate but he demands obedience.

Lord, thank you that when I stand before you covered with the dung of my sin you cleanse me give me fine robes and free access to you by the blood of your son Jesus. Thank you that you defend me against the Accuser of my soul. Amen.

Pottery with a Purpose!

2009-05-07T09:02:00.003-04:00

May 7, 2009

Recently I went on a trip with Atlee’s fourth grade class to Sauder Villiage in Ohio. It is place to learn about how the pioneers lived. We had a beautiful day with some beautiful people. I really enjoyed myself and Atlee did too. It was good for us to spend the day together.

We saw the many ways that people used to survive when there weren’t such things as modern conveniences. I was amazed at their ingenuity, everything they had was used in some way and nothing was wasted. They made their own nails, pottery, brooms and other items . They gathered herbs for healing and seasoning their food. They made everything they needed.

I was struck by the way these items were made by loving hands and it was a great teaching opportunity for Atlee and I to see played out in real life how the Master uses heat and pressure , force, forging and tension to mold us into the child of God he wants us to be, changing us into the very image of his Son.

Watching the potter gently raise the walls of his drinking tumbler project reminded me of Isaiah 64:8 which says, “Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay , you are the potter; we are the work of your hand.”

It also reminded me of many other places in the bible where we are referred to as clay. The process of molding and shaping and smoothing and firing goes on in our lives day after day until we reach the desire of our Master.

Lately, I’ve felt dry and far from the Lord but as I remember the process I observed in the making of the tumbler I am encouraged. When the tumbler was finished the potter took it off the wheel to sit by itself and dry a bit before putting it into the kiln. Then to harden in the fire only to come out and sit alone again to cool in order that it would be useful to someone.

I feel like that tumbler, quietly sitting and drying or maybe cooling so as to hold the shape that the Master has made me to be.

If you’ve been going through a dry time, be encouraged, it’s all part of the necessary process and God hasn’t left you, he’s preparing you to be a vessel of honor to be used to bring a thirst quenching drink to someone else.

Thank you, Jesus, for your encouragement to me today…it isn’t that I’ve done something wrong or that you are angry with me but that you are allowing me to dry and cool for a purpose. Wherever I am in the process let me be effectively used for your Master plan. Amen.

Sam and Scrappy

2009-05-01T10:52:00.005-04:00

Matt’s cousin Sam Paulus has been a mentor of ours for quite some time. We’ve had many in depth discussions with him about our Lord for many years and from time to time I’ve invited him to share his thoughts with you. The following is part 1 of a letter that he wrote to us so that you, the readers, could become acquainted with him.

I was born in Ligonier, IN 27 miles S/E of South Bend. My father died in 1994, his loss was a hard thing for me. His family came from Germany and intermarried Cherokee tribe during their migration. Dad met mom in the service as they were both in the military.

My mother just passed away last November and I will miss her. She was of Mexican decent. Her father came from Mexico, graduated from the University of Mexico and was a Leiutenent in the Mexican Army.

An interesting fact about my family was learned when my mother passed away. My grandfather, who was an orphan, was a Jew and had escaped the Holocaust. We had never known these facts but learned them at my mother’s funeral.

He fled to Mexico and took on a different religion and new background. My mother's sister told us that my grandfather told her these things in secrecy when he had stayed with them one time and she had kept his secret to herself. She told us that there were times that he would try to get his brothers and sisters to come to America from Germany so that they could be together.

I was 48 years old this April and I live with my wife, Patsy, daughter Victoria (20) and son David (17) in Texas not far from Houston.

I came down south when I was 17 years old. I finished School in Port Arthur, Texas and lived with my grandfather and mom's brother during that time. I was in a car accident and hit a semi that pulled out in front of me and it set me back some in school so I came down south and went to night school and high school so I could graduate in the same year as other students my age in 1972.

Sometime later I met my wife and we were married, I was saved when I was young and Patsy is a believer as well. We know that God is preparing us for future work and so we hold our home and other possessions with an open hand because both of us realize that there is more to life with God than holding on to a house and we don’t want anything to keep us from following his will.

So, we both made it known to the Lord that wherever he wanted us we were willing to be and our desire is that he uses us sufficiently. We wanted him to know this house would not anchor us down. I realize that we may never move but God has our heart and we will go if he says go.

I experienced a refreshing of God’s Spirit some years ago and so much has happened to me since that time and I’ve even seen miracles. I remember a time when I was seeing a powerful move of God at a steel company where I was working. Guys were coming up to me asking for prayer and getting back into church. God was calling them to a work in church for his purposes.

I am so amazed and astounded when I think of things that took place there. One of the men was a man named “Scrappy” who had a weakness for alcohol. For some reason he started coming up to me and he began to spend time with me. One night I had a deep burden of prayer for him and I prayed fervently.

I remember looking at the clock when I started praying and it was 1am and a powerful presence of God overtook me while I was in prayer for him. When I got done praying, it felt like I had been praying for 3 or 4 minutes but when I looked at the clock it said 5:30 am. I said out loud, "Lord, where have I been?" I went to bed and fell asleep instantly and the next thing I knew Patsy was waking me and said, "Scrappy is here," it was the same guy I had been praying for, why was he here?

I proceeded to tell her to have him come back later. I wanted to sleep. But she said, "Get up!” and it seemed like lightning hit me and I jumped out of bed in obedient form. In the kitchen over coffee he was just sitting there. Now, I know this guy and in 6 hours of work he can't hold his hands straight out and hold them still and he laughs on account of their shaking so bad, he can’t go without a drink.

The Spirit of God spoke to me and said, "You be careful with him." Now, I didn't know how to really take what the Lord meant by that but after it was all over I understood fully. The Lord put the right words in my mouth. It reminded me of how I depended on God when I was preaching over the radio in my early years. I realized the presence of God was so strong in and on me. It felt like electricity in me. Then I looked at Scrappy and saw the same power moving on him.

The Lord wanted me to see him deal with Scrappy. He wanted me to see that if I said things out of the way it would ruined the whole situation. I saw the Spirit of God compelling him. Later he told me that as he was leaving our house in his truck he said, "Lord, I want to feel your presence that Sam is talking about, just a little bit though."

He told me that God did not deny him and His presence moved upon him and he went home with such a powerful presence all over him and he was trembling and sweating in bed. Come to find out God had burned all that alcohol out of him and healed him. He claimed to have great pain in his sides and at work I would see him in the tool room all doubled up in pain. He had been to the doctors and all. Pain was non-stop in his sides. Scrappy thought maybe it might be liver damage or something due to his drinking and God healed him of that too.

I was astounded, I can't begin to tell you how his testimony has effected many people especially school friends who grew up with him. Two of his friends were our bosses at work and I recall them telling Scrappy one day that it wasn’t the alcohol that was his problem but his nature. But God has established a greater nature for us if we ask for it and respond to him.

All Scrappy did was to yield himself to God. The next day his friends just stood there like they were watching some big car accident; they were in shock over the changes they saw in Scrappy. His mom and dad were very knowledgeable teachers and people of the scriptures and even they were amazed at the changes they had seen in their son.

Scrappy told me later that they were at a local restaurant eating and his mother asked what he had been doing. He told her that he stays home praying and reading his Bible and that he quit his drinking and when he said that his pop, as he calls him, bathed his white shirt with the tea he was drinking!

I thank God for Scrappy and his healing and I want you to know that this can be a reality in your life as well. The bible says that God doesn’t play favorites…we are all his favorites and he treats us all the same. If you want to experience the loving presence of God today just open your heart to him and tell him you’re a sinner and that you want to know him. Ask him to come into your heart and let your life be changed like old Scrappy’s life was.

I promise if you are sincere and your request comes from your heart that God won’t let you down. Romans 10:9-10 says, “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with the heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”

Lose the Moodies...

2009-04-21T13:42:00.001-04:00

April 21, 2009

I don’t know what it was about yesterday, maybe because it was cloudy or maybe because it was cold but I was in a real mood! I didn’t want to do anything and I was just plain mean at times. Sure, maybe I could blame it on grieving or the weather or the economy but I really don’t have anything to be moody about…not with Jesus!

Some days I just lose sight of him but I always know he’s with me and even though he may not approve of my behavior he loves me unconditionally. It is so true what the word says in Romans 2:4 “…God’s kindness leads you toward repentance…” and repent I did.

I was a grump although I tried not to be it still happened and yet God in his kindness and love for me fed me, clothed me and gave me a warm place to rest. When it was bed time I pulled Danni’s promise book from the drawer next to the bed and read. It was all about strength.

It quoted Isaiah 40: 29, 31 and Matthew 11:28-30 and Psalm 46:1, 11, they will tell you where you can find rest and where our strength comes from if you read them. The promise book talked about a man in a concentration camp and how he handled the difficulties he faced with dignity and faith in God.

There is no way I have faced anything like what that man did and yet he held to his God and wouldn’t let go. I knew what I had to do to overcome but I was tired and didn’t feel like fighting. I didn’t feel like praising God and thanking him for the food in my belly and the roof over my head.

The poem that the man who was a prisoner had carved into the wall was simply this:

I believe in the sun, even though it doesn’t shine
I believe in love, even when it isn’t shown,
I believe in God, even when he doesn’t speak.
(From He Still Moves Stones—Max Lucado)

How foolish of me to have wasted an entire day being moody. God forgive me. And I know he does because he reminded me of his word and his love for me even though I didn’t deserve it.

Amazing Grace How Sweet the Sound that Saved a Wretch like Me. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.

Strong in the Storm

2009-04-16T10:09:00.006-04:00

April 16, 2009

Some time before Danni fell ill everywhere I turned I heard about a storm. In the scriptures, in the secular and all around from so many different sources I knew there was something big on the horizon. God often speaks to me in this way; the same message came again and again and I was grateful for the “heads up”.

Acts 27 was one of the scriptures God brought to me at that time and there are so many things in there that have caught my eye again today. In the last part of verse 9 and on into verse 10 it says this… “So Paul warned them, “Men, I can see that our voyage is going to be disastrous and bring great loss to ship and cargo, and to our own lives also.”

Verse 11 goes on to say this… “But the centurion, instead of listening to what Paul said, followed the advice of the pilot and of the owner of the ship…the majority decided that we should sail on…”

Then in verse 13 comes a haunting scenario… “When a gentle south wind began to blow, they thought they had obtained what they wanted…” (NIV) and away they went. All the signs were good and everything was falling into place…they thought they had it all under control but it didn’t take long for them to see that they didn’t have the control they were so sure of in the beginning.

“The ship was caught by the storm and could not head into the wind; so we gave way to it and were driven along.” (Acts 27:15) So many times during that year I felt like we were just being blown along by God completely subject to his good will and mercy. It doesn’t take long for you to realize how in control God is and how not in control you are when these kind o f circumstances arise.

God is so gracious to them, in Acts 27:21 God’s man on the scene steps up and says to the crew… “Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss, but now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed.”

Paul goes on to tell of his encounter with an angel who told him these things and also of his faith in God that those things will come to pass but he tells them in verse 26… “Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island.”

They would escape with their lives but not until they had lost all and were wrecked. God will allow things in our lives to the point of wreckage in order to accomplish his will. I can’t say it enough…God is in control. These were capable men making decisions for their lives and they end up wrecked with nothing.

But God allowed these things for them to see his glory…God wants so much for us to see him and to come to him for all our needs. Psalm 55 is a cry from David’s heart he wants to “…hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm.” (vs. 8)

He is in agony over the situation that he finds himself in so he cries to the Lord and has confidence in God that he will save him. Verse 22 in the Complete Jewish Bible version says this... “Unload your burden on Adonai and he will sustain you. He will never permit the righteous to be moved.”

I think of Paul and the storm he was going through in his life; he turned to God for answers and God heard his cry and came to his aide not taking him out of the circumstance but causing him to be immoveable within them! Jesus prays for us in John 17 and in verse 15 he says… “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one…”

I also experienced this in my own life. Many times Danni and the family were faced with decisions that seemed to be mountains and we would cry out to God with Danni for answers. Most of the time we wouldn’t receive an answer at that very moment but God would cause us to say…”God, we trust you please take care of us.”

I can testify that EVERY time God would work out the details of the insurmountable challenge and take care of everything. God, I praise you! I thank you for your faithfulness.

The last part of Psalms 55 says this… “But for my part, Adonai, I put my trust in you.”(CJBV)

If God did this for us HE WILL do this for you! Cry out to him today and unload the burdens you’ve been carrying.

God is faithful and you will find that you have grown tremendously in your trust in him when you look back at this time later in life. Let him work his perfect will in you to make you immoveable in your faith and trust in him no matter what storm you experience.

Correction

2009-04-13T06:59:00.000-04:00

Sorry about the confusion, this picture is more like what I saw the other morning...I got the pic below off of the internet. My apologies.

Sunrise...Sonrise

2009-04-10T08:36:00.001-04:00

April 10, 2009

The house is quiet this morning but the birds are singing loudly outside, from where I am sitting I can see the blaze of sunrise through the trees and it looks like they are on fire. Intense reds and oranges, it must be impressive to see in full view.

My thoughts are taken to the Psalms and the faithfulness of God. Many times David is delivered after he cries out to God and waits for his salvation. So many of the Psalms speak of our enemies surrounding us on every side and I never had this thought before today but it is so true.

Every day evil surrounds us and our enemies are on every side but the faithfulness of God is there protecting us and guiding us and caring for us whether we acknowledge it or not. He is there for us every day whether we appreciate it or not.

I admit that there are days when the circumstances of life drag me down and I am swayed to think this thing or that thing will make me “happy” and I forget about the eternal things. Joy is more valuable than happiness. Joy is the immoveable sustaining force who is Christ in us. The resurrection life of Christ pounds within me encouraging me every step o f the way, moving me ever near his heart and his throne.

As I was writing the scripture came to me about seeing through a glass dimly and I went to search for it online; I found it in 1 Corinthians 13:12…Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

I couldn’t see the magnificent sunrise this morning… only in part through the trees and this is how it is with the workings of God but some day like Danni we will see the whole picture clearly…face to face as the word says. I look forward to that day.

Today, Lord, I thank you for the joy that is you within me! Thank you that your light has dawned in my heart. Thank you for every breath you give me to praise you. Thank you for caring for me and keeping me in the midst of my enemies. Thank you for your faithfulness. Lock my eyes on you; captivate my attention as your beautiful colors rise in my heart. Amen.

Called, Chosen and Faithful

2009-04-03T14:10:00.007-04:00

April 3, 2009

The entry below sparked other thoughts in me…I had to think about Saul being chosen. Sometimes as followers of Jesus we have this “lingo” we speak. Every now and then the Lord challenges me by putting the question in my heart… “Why do I say this or that?”

We say a person is “called” or has a “calling” and we say some are “chosen” like Saul. I suppose we say these things because we think they are spiritual. God does speak about being chosen and called. He does call to us he has called to others in the past such as Samuel in 1 Samuel 3.

I love that passage because it shows God’s patience with us and it shows how we learn to recognize the voice of God when he is speaking to us. It always makes me chuckle. God has a big job putting up with us and yet he loves us so.

I decided to do a word study on “called” and “chosen”. I wanted to know what it was I talk about! What the difference was and where am I in the whole scheme of things (because you know you have to know where you are to understand where you’re going! :}).

I found an interesting verse in Revelation 17 and in it I saw something I had never seen before.

In verse 14 it says this… “They will make war against the Lamb, and the Lamb will overcome them because he is Lord of lords and King of kings—and with him will be his called, chosen and faithful.”

Wow, there is a distinction… “What does all this mean?” I asked the Lord.

I went to the dictionary to find out what the words meant and that answered some questions I had but I wanted to know from the original text in the bible…what did God mean when he inspired this verse? I turned to the Strong’s Concordance for more answers and this is what I found.

Called—Strong’s number 2822 Greek word Kletos and it means… called, invited (to a banquet)

invited (by God in the proclamation of the Gospel) to obtain eternal salvation in the kingdom through Christ
called to (the discharge of) some office
divinely selected and appointed

Then I wanted to know what chosen meant in this verse. This is what I found…Strong’s number 1588 the Greek word Eklektos and it means: picked out, chosen

chosen by God,
to obtain salvation through Christ 1a
Christians are called "chosen or elect" of God
the Messiah in called "elect", as appointed by God to the most exalted office conceivable
choice, select, i.e. the best of its kind or class, excellence preeminent: applied to certain individual Christians

And what did God mean by “faithful”? The Strong’s number was 4103 the Greek word Pistos and it was the most interesting of all I thought. Trusty and faithful was its meaning also…

of persons who show themselves faithful in the transaction of business, the execution of commands, or the discharge of official duties
one who kept his plighted faith, worthy of trust
that can be relied on
easily persuaded
believing, confiding, trusting
in the NT one who trusts in God's promises
one who is convinced that Jesus has been raised from the dead
one who has become convinced that Jesus is the Messiah and author of salvation

As I asked God for revelation and my thoughts were taken to Matthew 13 and the Parable of the Sower but this wasn't coming together, what was God trying to say? I asked God again for revelation because I didn't want human reasoning ; I wanted revelation! What was the truth? What were God’s thoughts?

Then the verse came to me from Matthew 24:45 where Jesus asks… “Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? There the “faithful” definition fit together like a beautiful puzzle piece. This is an example of the “faithful”!

Then my mind went back to Matthew 13 there had to be the example of the chosen or the called there and sure enough in verse 16 and 17 it says… “But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear. For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see and did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.”

And again in verse 23 of Matthew 13… “But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. Chosen to hear and understand.

And the called, who are they? Mark 3:13 is what stood out to me when I was searching for “called” it says this… “Jesus went up on the mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him.”

Then I wondered why Revelation 17:14 listed them in the order called, chosen and faithful and the Lord revealed to me that the ones being called in Mark 3:13 were the disciples…these are the phases, if you will, in the life of a follower of Christ…

We are called and we come…Jesus reveals his word to us and we are chosen to hear and see and understand and from that point we are faithful to the business he has called us to from the beginning.

What a beautiful picture! We come with Christ in Revelation at all stages each one in their own place at the perfect timing of the Lord. God has you where you are for a reason! Enjoy it!

I have a friend that says we are all in the same boat…just some are in the front, some are in the middle and some are in the back but we are all going the same direction in the same boat.

Still don’t see it…well here is the pattern again look at Romans 8:30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called; he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. There it is!

This is the process we all go through as believers in Christ…called, chosen, and faithful. Notice that Romans 8:30 is talking about God’s people not God and let it sink in what this verse is saying!

I am also reminded of these verses in Ephesians 2:8-9… “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith –and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I challenge you to read the bible from now on with this process in mind and I’m betting you will see this pattern many times over.

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! (2Cor 9:15)

Change is Coming!

2009-04-03T09:45:00.005-04:00

April 3, 2009

Acts 9:1-18 is about the conversion of Saul. Here was a devout Jew highly trained in the Jewish Synagogue. As the word opens he is “breathing out murderous threats” against the Lord’s disciples. (vs.1) Murder was in his heart and he knew about the Lord and the Ten Commandments.

This Saul knew about God but he did not know God. Saul proves this of himself in verse 5...

He didn’t know Jesus and yet he had formed an opinion about him and the people who believed in him. He was among the intellectuals, philosophers and lawmakers of his people every day and yet his mind was open only to what he had been taught by them. He was already blind to Jesus in spirit.

In verse 4 Jesus arrests him on the road to Damascus and Saul has an encounter with the true and living God. Saul’s question proves he didn’t really know God for he asks, “Who are you, Lord?”. Jesus reveals himself to Saul and then commands him where to go and what to do.

Did Saul have free will at this point? That’s food for thought.

Saul was then blind for three days… I believe there was a transformation of Saul’s heart during this time. I wonder what things Jesus did in Saul as he sat in a darkened state unable to move about without crashing into something. Yet this was the most enlightened time he had ever known! He was changed forever!

It was revealed to Saul in a vision that Ananias would come and his sight would be restored.

Ananias knew the Lord well; he must have been a very devout follower of Christ for Jesus to be able to trust him with such a task. Ananias was afraid and Jesus’ reply was “Go!” Fear was not an option.

There were two things revealed to Ananias about Saul in verse 15 that he was God’s chosen instrument to carry his name before the Gentiles and their kings and the people of Israel and that he would suffer much.

Does an instrument have its choice who plays it or how it is played? Did Saul have a choice as to whether or not he would suffer? More food for thought.

And what was the purpose of all this? God’s plan; His plan of redemption not only for the Jews but for everyone. Look at the great lengths to which God will go to reach his people. His purposes will be accomplished in the way he desires. There is no plan B with God only plan A.

God is in control of every circumstance that comes into our lives to prepare us for the future and he makes good come from bad things if we love him the scripture says. If you are going through bad circumstances right now look up for as a storm comes and then it is gone so it is with the bad things in our lives…this too shall pass.

Trust in God because he has a good purpose for every bad circumstance he allows in our lives. I think of Colossians 1: 15-20 “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.

For by him ALL things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.

For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself ALL things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.”

Powerful! Everything is about him, in him, through him, for him, created by him…EVERYTHING!! In heaven and on earth good and bad he holds it all together for the purpose of redeeming all things to himself. People, this is the very heart of God…REDEMPTION!

This says above that it pleased God to have his fullness dwell in Christ and guess what! If Christ is in you the fullness of God dwells in you as well! Selah!

Wait patiently upon God and look for the good that God is bringing through every trial and tribulation. Remember, the message of salvation was brought to everyone through Saul because of a bad circumstance (blinded for three days) that came into his life!

God, Don't Give Up on Me!

2009-03-31T05:50:00.002-04:00

March 31, 2009

Psalm 138 (NIV)

I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; before the “gods” I will sing your praise. I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word.

When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. May all the kings of the earth praise you, O Lord, when they hear the words of your mouth. May they sing of the ways of the Lord, for the glory of the Lord is great.

Though the Lord is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands.

I’m encouraged to see that David, a man after God’s own heart, begins by praising God for his love and faithful ways. He reminds us of the two things that are high above all other things and those are God’s name and his Word. There is nothing above them, no time …anywhere!

He testifies to us that God answers when we cry out to him and makes us strong. The next few lines jumped off the page at me… “Though the Lord is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar.”

Sometimes God seems so close to us and sometimes so far. Because of pride in our lives he has to step back from us…he hates pride and can’t be part of it but he still knows us and waits patiently for us to come back to him.

God is always there watching over his children to save us from danger and complete the work he has begun in us. I love the last line. David encouraged me today that God won’t give up on me; he is the one who fulfills his purpose for me.

But even with all David has said comes the cry of my heart as well… Don’t abandon the work you’re doing in me! God, don’t give up on me!

I have so far to go compared to you, Jesus, help me I pray. I cry out to you…make me strong for I feel so weak. Thank you that you haven’t left me though you seem far away.

I lay down my pride and humble myself before you. I need you, God and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Thank you for your love and faithfulness. Amen.

Blessed by Obedience

2009-03-29T08:52:00.003-04:00

March 29, 2009

John 2: 1-11 is such a rich passage. There are so many things here that I see but the Lord has been speaking to me about obedience and blessing. He loves to reward his children for their obedience to him.

Here Jesus is at a wedding banquet with his mother and disciples and he’s sitting there and his mother comes to him and says, “They have no more wine.” (CJBV) My imagination goes into gear here and I can just see him smile at her as he says, “Mother, why should that concern me?—or you? My time hasn’t come yet.”

Mary smiles back and goes to the servants and says to them… “Do whatever he tells you.” What confidence she has in him I’m sure she’s seen things time and time again. What faith the servants have, Jesus tells them to fill the jars and they do…they fill it to the brim! (vs7)

It is the servants who get to see the miracle, not the man in charge. He didn’t even know where it came from scripture says. The servants obeyed and mixed faith with their obedience and Jesus worked the miracle.

I love how Jesus instructs the “lowly” at the party and they are the witnesses to the miracle he performs I also love how Mary says to them “Do whatever he tells you.” I love the heart of Jesus that would do a miracle to bless all the people and help the disciples to build their trust in him.

Jesus is so sweet. He rewards their obedience and everyone is blessed and edified with the best of the land…the best for last.

Stop and Let the Lord Catch Up to Ya!

2009-03-24T20:11:00.004-04:00

March 24, 2009

I haven’t written for a while because we were on a journey this last weekend. We went to visit close family and we had a wonderful time. While we were there we had many late night and early morning talks about the Lord.

How wonderful it is to have fellowship with other believers. We also watched a movie and went to a church. The movie was a race against time type where the main character was protected by a group of very large individuals and it made me think of how God protects us. We have nothing to fear!

Psalms chapter 23 (CJBV) says… “Adonai is my shepherd; I lack nothing. He has me lie down in grassy pastures, he leads me by quiet water, he restores my inner person.”

Have you ever taken time to actually read this psalm slowly? I know I haven’t …until today. This says I lack NOTHING! And HE is the one who brings me to restful places…HE takes care of me. God’s thoughts towards me as my shepherd is to restore me and give me peace.

“He guides me in right paths for the sake of his own name. Even if I pass though death-dark ravines, I will fear no disaster; for you are with me; you rod and staff reassure me.”

HE is the one responsible for guiding me even if all around me there is disaster AND he reassures me during those times. What a wonderful God we serve. He takes care of us! He wants to take care of us! We don't need to fear.

“You prepare a table for me, even as my enemies watch; you anoint my head with oil from an overflowing cup.”

Wow, we are given favor while our enemies watch; we are blessed out of the overflow of God’s abundant cup, anointed with the oil of the Holy Spirit…take time and think about that!

“Goodness and grace will pursue me every day of my life; and I will live in the house of Adonai for years and years to come.”

These things follow after us; they pursue us every day of our lives. God pursues us with his goodness and unearned favor every day. What if we would just take time to stop what we are doing and turn around? Would God’s goodness and grace continually wash over us?

Most likely God would visit us with his presence for as long as we were quiet and stood still, pouring his cup of anointing oil over us refreshing us, renewing us, feeding us, protecting and leading us.

I think if we would do this we would have inner peace and restoration and we would thankfully realize that we truly lack nothing.

I don’t know about you but I think I’ll stop and turn around now; I could use a good visit with the Lord.

Time to Turn the Page!

2009-03-18T08:34:00.002-04:00

March 18, 2009

It must be time for a new chapter in the life of our family. I feel the page beginning to turn and I greet it with cautious expectation and excitement. What does God hold for us in the future?

I was reading Joshua chapter 3 today and I realized that God brought this scripture to encourage me about this time last year when we were crossing the Jordan into waters and things unknown to us.

How marvelous to watch the faithfulness of God at that time. God went out ahead of us and provided firm dry ground for crossing just like he did the Israelites. He carefully guided us through the flood waters to deliver Danni safely to the other side. For that my heart sings songs of thanksgiving and praise.

But now there are other floodwaters not only for us but for every community across the world. People are experiencing the wrath of God on so many levels and fear has become a constant companion to many. I’m so thankful that we have a God who is in control.

Does this mean we won’t have to suffer? Hardly not. God didn’t spare his own son suffering and he won’t spare us either but we have faith and trust in a loving God who has our best at heart always! We know that the potter is shaping us and molding us with his capable hands.

I think of how in awe I would have been if I were an Israelite at that time crossing the Jordan on dry ground and seeing a wall of water with the knowledge that the hand of my Father God was holding it back. How humbling that must have been!

I was also reading in Habakkuk 3 today and it speaks very plainly about praising God through the hard times. Habakkuk was in awe of the power and might of God coming to the aid of his people. We serve a God who can deliver us mightily but even if he doesn’t do it in our way or timing he is still to be praised no matter what chaos is going on around us.

Hard times reveal what you are made of and how genuine is your faith. It is the point where you must decide to push through the circumstances and man, does that make your faith and trust in God go through the roof!

Habakkuk says in chapter 3 verses 17-19… “For even if the fig tree doesn’t blossom and no fruit is on the vines, even if the olive tree fails to produce, and the fields yield no food at all, even if the sheep vanish from the sheep pen, and there are no cows in the stalls; still I will rejoice in Adonai,
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

Elohim Adonai (Sovereign Lord) is my strength! He makes me swift and sure-footed as a deer and enables me to stride over my high places.” ( CJBV)

I love this because it is God, the Sovereign Lord, who is our strength! He is in control and it is he who makes us able to do things that we in ourselves are not able to do! Praise Adonai!

In 1Corinthians 1:8-9 it says this… “He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, IS FAITHFUL!” (Emphasis mine)(NIV).

Guess what?! God is in control and he will keep us strong until the end; that is enough to keep us praising him all day long for the rest of our lives mortal and immortal! Praise God!

The Heart of the Matter.

2009-03-15T09:57:00.002-04:00

March 15, 2009

Romans 10:9-10 that if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. (NIV)

I was in the post office the other day when I ran into a person I have known for a long time. This person expressed to me their sadness over the Danni’s passing and as we conversed the subject of God came up.

They stated to me that all you have to do is believe in God (to go to heaven) and then added, “Right?” I agreed but since that time I wondered if I shouldn’t have said more. But what is it that I should have said? Belief in Christ and his sacrificial death and resurrection is the heart of the matter.

Maybe I should have made them be more specific by saying…believing in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead and confessing that Jesus is Lord are the requirements for salvation. We’ve all encountered these moments where we have afterthoughts about what was said.

The bible says in 2 Timothy 4:2 that we should… "Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction…”(NIV)

I like what Romans 10:10 says…For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified….so believing comes from the heart not from the intellect or the mind and then out of your heart it causes you to confess with your mouth that “Jesus is Lord”.

But that also brings a change to your heart causing you to repent from your sins and live by another way. If we confess that “Jesus is Lord” then he must truly be Lord! We allow him to rule and reign over every life situation.

As the process continues fruit begins to be evident such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) and Jesus tells us in Matthew 7:20 that we will know what is inside a person by the fruit that is there.

So, is believing in God the only requirement? The demons believe in God but that won’t help them in the end (James 2:19). Believing that Jesus came and died and was raised to life with the heart and confessing Jesus is Lord with the mouth is the way to salvation but it is a process that doesn’t end there.

We must believe and continue to believe with our hearts and that brings change to our lives. Believing sets the wheels in motion bringing us from the wide road to the narrow. (Matthew 7:13-14)

Hopefully, with the help of the God I will be better prepared next time...

Love One Another

2009-03-12T09:25:00.003-04:00

March 12, 2009

I’m thinking today about family and how it is so important every day to communicate your love for each other because you never know when that will be the last time you ever speak with them.

This morning I was in a deep sleep and for some reason while I could hear people milling about the house getting ready to go to school and work it didn’t occur to me to get up until I heard the bus in front of the house.

Then it was too late…the kids were out the door and away they went. My heart sank and I was so sad that I didn’t get up to give them goodbye hugs and kisses. I know they are older (15 and 11) but I think it is so important. I was confused as to why I didn’t get up, this is not like me, and I concluded that God wanted to teach me something. (No, I’m not depressed) :}

I began to thank God for my family and friends. As I sat and took in the morning I saw a robin outside my window and it reminded me of things my grandpa would say and do when he saw one. All this made me so aware of the wonderful people God has surrounded me with during my life.

Like a warm coat on a chilly spring day. Family means so much and yet it seems they are the ones we always take for granted. They are the ones we always hurt.

I am so saddened by the things I hear about on the news…people are killing their family members right and left! What is happening to our world? Hard times used to make families cling to one another and now… just shoot them! These are signs to us of the urgency of or time. (Mark 13:12)

There are so many hurting people out there, so many in need of him. (John 4:35)

I think what God was reminding me about today was that my children and family members and friends are all to be cherished. They are gifts from him and they can be taken away without a moment’s notice. They are to be loved and cared for and respected. (Mark 12:31, Ephesians 5:15-16, 19-33)

Every day I want to be in right relationship with God, my family and those around me. God, help me have no regrets. Help me to live every day as if it was my last or my family’s last. Make me aware; wake me up so that I don’t miss a moment you’ve given me. I receive your life, your abundant life and I believe with all my heart that in you it is mine!

Not that I am worthy but you make me worthy. Thank you so much for that Jesus. I want all that you have for me. I trust in your goodness in all situations. Your love endures forever…amen!

But When Will I Know When I Know Him?

2009-03-07T09:00:00.002-05:00

March 7, 2009

Ok…so…here’s what happened yesterday, I was on my way home from running errands and there was a sharp “s” curve in the road with an intersection in the middle of it. They had to stop and I did not and there were several cars lined up there to cross the road I was on.

As I slowed for the curve, the man in front of the waiting line of cars decided to cross in front of me and I had to come almost to a complete stop to let him cross. I honked the horn and threw my hands in the air as if to say to him…what are you doing! Don’t you see me coming!?

Oh pride is an ugly thing. “I repent God,” I said and after a few miles of dealing with my heart condemning me, I forgave myself and thanked God for the discipline.

I have recently been on this quest to know him deeper and more fully but how will I know when I know him? Last night Matt and I were reading 1 John 2:1-11 and it answered my question very specifically.

· 1 John 2:1-11 (NIV)

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense--Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 2. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 3. We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands.

4. The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: 6.Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

7. Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. 8. Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. 9. Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.

10. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. 11. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

Ah-ha! There it is in plain English! Verse 3 says I know him if I obey his commands! Obedience is a part of knowing him and what is it he has commanded? Verses 9-11 Love your brother…that is one command. I love how God makes things simple for us. The other command is to… “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matt 22:37)NIV.

I must also “walk as Jesus did” (1John 2:6). And who is my brother? Jesus makes it clear in Matthew 12:50 (NIV)“For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

The problem is that approaching a car at an intersection you can’t possible know if the driver is a believer who does the will of the Father so I would have to act in love towards everyone.

The Lord also instructs us in Matthew 5:44 (KJV) “…But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…”

These are tall orders… simple in concept but tall by human standards. Good thing that we have the Holy Spirit with us to teach us and guide us through this because I am confident that I could not do this on my own.

All this makes me wonder…God, how well do I know you?

Father, help me walk in your love towards everyone. I want to know you more. Help me to hear you and follow your commands. I love your Lord…thank you for your patience with me. Amen.

What Are We Waiting For?

2009-03-04T07:37:00.003-05:00

March 4, 2009

This morning I have been reading in Acts 22. Paul is speaking to a crowd under Roman guard. He has been arrested or rescued is more like it from the people who were beating him for supposedly teaching that the Jews shouldn’t obey the law.

Paul is giving his testimony bloodied and bruised before a crowd of people who have just tried to kill him. This is such an amazing scene. He’s speaking about an encounter with God that has turned his life upside down or should we say right side up. This experience has so transformed his life that it didn’t matter to him that the people were trying to kill him, he had to share what the Lord had done for him.

So many times I want to tell people about what I’ve been through with Danni. I want to tell people that I meet about God and his faithfulness but it’s such a heavy thing; people don’t know how to respond. God has given me a testimony and he wants me to share it. God has given you a testimony and he wants you to share it.

Paul didn’t care what response he got he just had to share. I love what Ananias says to Paul in Acts 22:16 “…And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.”(NIV) What am I waiting for? Why do I hesitate? Because I don’t want to take the time or maybe I’m afraid of the response I might get. I’ve never been comfortable in awkward situations.

I love the zeal that is in Paul he really puts it all out there. He is the most least likely person to go and speak about Jesus because he was responsible for causing many followers of Christ to be imprisoned and even killed before he saw the light of Jesus.

Maybe you think… I am the least likely person to share Jesus with anyone because of my past but it’s part of your testimony…you have to have a past to build a testimony. If I didn’t go through Danni’s situation I would have no basis for speaking to anyone about cancer's effect or taking care of someone with cancer.

Ananias says… “wash your sins away, calling on his name.” Sins are no problem for God they can be washed away and forever forgotten by him in an instant if we call upon the name of Jesus. We make things too hard. God has made a way and we should access it! It cost Jesus his life to give us this privilege! Our debt of sin is paid in full! Thank you Jesus!

Paul didn’t let his past control his future, he had a mandate from the Lord as we all do. Matthew 28:18-20 “Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

If Jesus came to them, he surely comes to us!

I think I will experiment…the next time my testimony comes to my lips from my heart I will share it and not worry about the circumstances. Who knows maybe this will become a habit! God has done a marvelous thing in my life, I’ve seen his faithfulness, goodness, loving-kindness, mercy and grace in operation in a tangible way…people must know! People must hear! Time is short!

My testimony is the only reason I am on this earth today. I’m saved so what else is there for me to be here but to help others find the way. I believe it is the same for you too if you are saved. God wants to lead others to himself through me and you otherwise we’d be in heaven like Danni.

Her life’s purpose had come to completion and she is with God now but her testimony lives on in me and everyone who shared in her journey. There is one more thing that I want to proclaim and that is the words of Jesus at the end of Matthew 28:20 “…And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

What a comfort to know he’s right there with us in the thick of things and he will be there until the end and beyond! What a wonderful Savior we have, we can trust him!

Danni's Room

2009-03-02T07:06:00.003-05:00

March 2, 2009

Danni’s room is changing. After the funeral, her room was filled with flowers and the fragrance filled the house. It seemed that she had left us a gift and the smells were sweet to us. Then as time passed the flowers died and I removed them from her room.

Her colored pictures in frames and other memorabilia were placed here and there about the room and her closet was still full of her belongings and clothes…we had lovingly placed them there when she became ill.

For a while she saw this as a temporary solution to the problem but as time passed her thoughts changed and she realized that her dreams were not to be fulfilled. God had another path for her.

Then came the time for me to go through her clothes; I came to the realization that there was someone out there who needed them and that was Danni’s wishes. Her only thoughts about her things were that they should go to someone in need. I honored her wishes. Her closet is bare now.

I’m still finding things around the house, things that were hers…I had asked her one day how she wanted me to find the people in need and she said, “Have a garage sale and give the things away or sell the things and give the money to someone who needs it.” She had no attachment to material things anymore, she didn’t care about money.

Her life had come into focus and she could see eternity nearing…things didn’t matter anymore.

Danni’s room is currently a safe haven, a place to relax and reflect and a place for Jessi and Atlee to watch TV and spend time with her. Anytime I miss her and I want to be near her I go to her room and look at her pictures and touch her things that I haven’t been able to part with yet. I know she’s not here but somehow God brings comfort to me.

Jesus lovingly, gently, caringly takes our family from day to day faithfully bearing our burdens and moving us beyond our sorrows into peace and joy. He reminds me that life is short and soon we’ll be with her again only this time things will be so much better.

It’s time for her room to change again. We are changing the carpet. I want the reminder of sickness and death removed from the room and I feel like it is time to cleanse. I don’t know how to describe my feelings about this and it seems insignificant unless you’ve been through it. It’s just time.

Little by little I let go of her and look forward to our meeting in a different place, time and atmosphere. It is amazing to me to see how things change and time goes on. I’m so aware that I am but a vapor, a mist even to the point where spending money on carpet seems silly but in some strange way I think it will help move us ahead.

There are days when I forget that time is short and life crowds in on me but I have only to see her room and God brings perspective. I’m grateful for that…it is a gift from him. He so patient with me, he’s so loving and kind. I wish those who reject him could but taste of his love and kindness. I wish they would allow themselves just one vulnerable moment standing before him.

I know how the weight of this world melts away in his presence. We carry so many things that are unnecessary. Proverbs 23:26 says, “My son, give me your heart; let your eyes observe my ways.”

God is calling to you today and every day…time is short just ask Danni.

I’m not sure what the future holds for Danni’s room except that more of her wishes will be fulfilled. Her red chair that was given as a gift to her will be given to her dad to grace the room where her sister and stepsister spend their time “chilling out”.

Life is moving on and I’m learning to live every day as if it were my last. I want to make a difference; I want to be all God has for me to be. I want to fulfill my purpose in the earth as Danni did…I don’t want to waste this life or wake up some day and find that life has passed me by because I was unwilling to yield to God’s ways.

I want to learn everything I can and fulfill whatever destiny God has for me. I am determined not to kick and scream when God wants to bring change into my life. God help me.

God help me trust in your good nature, there is no bad in you; you are good all the time. Let the rooms of my heart be filled with your love and kindness. Clear out the unnecessary things I’ve been holding onto…

…cleanse the rooms of my heart of sickness and death and heal me. Make me to be all you have for me. I trust in your unchanging character for you are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. You are my strength and my song. Amen.

Be Free!

2009-02-27T09:01:00.003-05:00

February 27, 2009

Recently, I had been convicted when I spoke something out of frustration about someone that I should go to the person I spoke about and ask forgiveness. The person I spoke about wasn’t even there when I made the rash statement however, God was there and he was determined to hold me accountable.

I love that about God. Some years ago I had asked him and have continued to ask him to not let me get away with anything. I so want to be transparent and free from sin in right relationship with God but I can identify with Paul who writes in Romans 7:15 (cjbv) “I don’t understand my own behavior—I don’t do what I want to do; instead, I do the very thing I hate!”

And in Romans 7:19 & 24-25 (cjbv), “For I don’t do the good I want; instead, the evil that I don’t want is what I do!” “What a miserable creature I am!—who will rescue me from this body bound for death? Thanks be to God, he will!—through Yeshua (Jesus) the Messiah, our Lord!”

Thank God for God! What would I do without him? So, after a long battle within myself rolling this over and over…after turning up the radio so that maybe that would fix it (ya know ya can’t hear God so well with the radio up) and after saying to God, “God, maybe this isn’t your voice…” to which he replied, “You know my voice.” I gave in and made the call to ask for forgiveness.

All the games I play but he is patient with me. Sometimes I beg him…God please don’t give up on me! To which he reminds me of Philippians 1:6 (NIV) “….being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I’m so grateful for his wonderful grace when I sin.

I love that God has made a way for us through confession but that requires courage. James 5:16 (cjbv) says, “Therefore, openly acknowledge your sins to one another, and pray for each other, so that you may be healed,” and then it goes on to encourage in the light of what’s been previously written “…The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” Wow how redeeming!

We are to confess our sins openly before one another and in the very same verse is the power of a righteous man’s prayer! It is the righteous that act according to this manner and it doesn’t hinder their prayers a bit in fact the word indicates that it makes their prayers powerful and effective.

There is no shame in this! This is the way out! This is the door!

John 3:19-21 (cjbv) “Now this is the judgement: the light has come into the world, but people loved the darkness rather than the light. Why? Because their actions were wicked. For everyone who does evil things hates the light and avoids it, so that his actions won’t be exposed. But everyone who does what is true comes to the light, so that all may see that his actions are accomplished through God.”

Coming into the light is painful to our spirit. It means that our sins will be exposed and burned by the rays of God. But just like we go to the doctor when we have an infected wound, we go to Jesus our Healer…we come into his “office” of light and he cleanses the sores that sin inflicts on us. He burns them to stop the spread of infection and bring healing.

Is it painful? Yes. Does it take courage? Yes. But God will help you and he has already paid the price for you to be free. Come into the light today. Don’t be afraid. God is there to cleanse your sinful wounds and bring healing to you. He is the door and he can stop the cycle you are in…you can trust him.

He stands waiting……come to him and be free.

Warning...Unstable Conditions!

2009-02-23T06:35:00.003-05:00

February 23, 2009

This weekend my loving husband and I decided that we would purchase a new bed we had been saving for to try to relieve our morning aches. I had found a place in Michigan online that seemed to have pretty good deals and they were also having a sale which was even better.

Long story short we were blessed with a good salesman that got us a great bed at a reasonable price within our budget…thank you Jesus…anyway the salesman insisted that it would not fit in our van and encouraged us to buy ratchet straps from the nearest store.

Okay, so we loaded the mattress set on our luggage rack and proceeded down the road. It had snowed that day and the wind had picked up to what felt like 30 or 40 miles per hour at times! Oh and did I mention that the snow had turned to a sheet of ice on the road?

We were trucking along at about 40 miles per hour with everyone staring at the crazy Indiana people’s van with the mattress set strapped onto the top when all the sudden a gust of wind came and we began to lose control of the van!

Prior to this time we did not realize how slick the road was so after many prayers and tense moments the van was back on track and we took those events as our wake up call to slow down.

Later on in the journey we experienced other icy patches and the oncoming traffic was going too fast for what we knew the road conditions to be. We saw many accidents and I praise God that we finally made it home safely mattress set intact…woo hoo thank you Jesus that you keep us even in our moments of insanity!

All this got me to thinking about how many of us go about our lives going too fast for the conditions with baggage strapped to us and we think things are fine but we don’t see the danger often times until it is too late. How many times does God spare us with his grace and mercy? How many times does God use those things in our lives to discipline us and proclaim his holiness to us?

This morning I was reading in Acts chapter 5 about Ananias and Sapphira. This is a familiar story about a couple who were going far to fast for the conditions and did not think through the plan they had. They tried to pretend to be something they were not and were judged by God. The Lord struck them out of his holiness and they died immediately.

God knew the deceit in their hearts and made an example of them before the people. They had sold some land and tried to lie to the disciples and God claiming they had given to the church the full amount that they had received for the land. They were not even required to give the full amount but they chose to come with pretense and deceit in their hearts before God.

More and more I’m realizing with the current events of the days we are living in that playing games with God is a dangerous move. We are seeing the prophetic scriptures being fulfilled right before our eyes. The time has come to decide this day whom we will serve…

God is calling to his church to become the spotless Bride he’s been longing for; to wake from our slumber and stop living on the fence. I hear the call in my own life…it’s time to examine ourselves and ask God to show us what he sees.

It’s time to let go of the baggage from the past that causes us to swerve to and fro on the icy road of life and give God full control of the wheel. We can’t fool him…he knows it all.

God show me the places in my life where I am not being honest with you, I pray this with fear and trembling. It’s so hard to face truth sometimes. I want to be all you’ve called me to be. I want to be saturated with you and I want you at the wheel at all times.

If I am carrying baggage from the past, show me, help me to lay it forever at your feet because these are times to travel light and have an ear to hear you clearly.

Help me to be genuine and transparent at all times so the light of your glory can shine through. I trust you Lord. Help me pass the tests when they come…I want to please you. Amen.

Know Him

2009-02-21T06:52:00.005-05:00

February 21, 2009

Early this morning before dawn I awoke with this question pounding throughout every fiber of my being…Do you know me? Do you know me? Do you know me? I confess that this has been my cry recently to KNOW him. It isn’t enough to know ABOUT him anymore…I must KNOW Him deeper and more intimately than I ever have.

There is such an urgency within me that comes with this question. Do others know him? Or do they know about him? I think of the narrow gate in Matthew 7:13 Jesus is speaking and he says, “Go in through the narrow gate; for the gate that leads to destruction is wide and the road broad, and many travel it; but it is a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life and only a few find it.”(CJBV)

Further down in Matthew 7:21-23 Jesus says this, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, only those who do what my Father in heaven wants. On that Day, many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord!’ Didn’t we prophesy in your name? Didn’t we expel demons in your name? Didn’t we perform many miracles in your name?

Verse 23… “Then I will tell them to their faces, ‘I never KNEW you! Get away from me, you workers of lawlessness!’(Complete Jewish Bible version).

Jesus is speaking to people who say they have done all these things in his name, they appear to believe in him and serve him, and his name is on their lips but where are their hearts? (Isaiah 29:13)

What hope do I have if only few make it through the gate? Where is the gate? In John 10:1-15 Jesus is speaking again and he is teaching the people about a sheep pen and how the shepherd is the one who the sheep KNOW his voice and they follow him.

The people aren’t getting what he is saying to them so he speaks more directly saying in verses 7 “Yes, indeed! I tell you that I AM THE GATE for the sheep…”

Again in verse 9 Jesus says to them plainly… “I AM THE GATE if someone enters through me, he will be safe and will go in and out and find pasture…I have come so that they may have life, life in its fullest measure.”

How do I enter through Jesus, the Messiah, the Gate so I will be safe? Romans 10:9-10 (NIV) says, “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”

It goes on to say in the next verse…”As the Scriptures says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” (Also in Isaiah 28:16) So then all I have to do is confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that God raised him from the dead and I will be saved then I can go on living like I want to…great!…but wait a minute…

When I read from the Jewish Bible it says this… “that if you acknowledge publicly with your mouth that Yeshua (Jesus) is Lord and trust in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be delivered.

For with the heart one goes on trusting and thus continues toward righteousness, while with the mouth one keeps on making public acknowledgement and thus continues toward deliverance.”

Going on to verse 11 it finishes this thought saying… “For the passage quoted says that everyone who rests his trust on him will not be humiliated.”

This would indicate that believing in Jesus is a continual process towards righteousness and deliverance and not just a “set it and forget it” approach.

Coming to Christ and knowing him is a commitment, a new and full life; it is a hard road and something not to be taken lightly.

This life will last a short time and we will stand before God when it is finished. I don’t want to hear the words above directed at me on that day.

When the scripture talks about “trusting in him and not being humiliated or not being put to shame” it is not talking about in front of man but rather in front of God where it really matters!

Father, I pray for myself, that I would come to know you in a deeper, more intimate way. I confess with my mouth that your are Lord and I believe in my heart that you, Jesus, died for me and you were raised from the dead.

I give thanks to you that you will never leave me or forsake me. Thank you that you are the Good Shepherd; help me to know your voice and follow you and you alone. Amen.

Freedom in Jesus!

2009-02-17T09:54:00.005-05:00

February 17, 2009

I was reading my Jewish Bible this morning and I was so struck by the words of Isaiah. I started in chapter 53 reading about Jesus the Messiah and how he was “… a man of pains, well acquainted with illness…”

I love reading from this version as many times in the NIV the Hebrew and Greek words are not translated so clearly. What depth this brings to Jesus the Messiah…he knew all about pains and illness.

Later in verse 4 it says “…In fact, it was OUR disease he bore, OUR pains from which he suffered…But he was wounded because of OUR crimes, crushed because of OUR sins; the disciplining that makes US whole fell on him, and by his bruises we are healed.”

It never occurred to me until just a few minutes ago that Jesus ACTUALLY carried our illnesses and pains! I had to wonder was he actually inflicted with disease? Earlier in this same scripture in verse 2 it says about Jesus the Messiah “…he was not well-formed or especially handsome; we saw him, but his appearance did not attract us. People despised and avoided him.”

In those days people who had disease were despised and avoided. . Wow! What a revelation! He KNOWS what it is to have illness and disease! He KNOWS what it is to have pains!

And again in Isaiah 53:10-11 it says “…yet it pleased ADONAI (The Lord) to crush him with illness, to see if he would present himself as a guilt offering…and at his hand ADONAI’S desire will be accomplished….By knowing (pain and sacrifice), my righteous servant makes many righteous; it is for their sins that he suffers.”

But why? Why did God allow Jesus to suffer in such a way? To test him and to make MANY righteous! He suffered to save us and bring healing to OUR diseases! Thank you Jesus! We are free from sin and disease because of what you did for us!

But Danni died of disease, how can I make sense of this? Jesus healed her in her death and not only that but that disease had ABSOLUTELY NO HOLD ON HER SPIRIT!

That’s why she could think of others in her condition! That’s why she could pray for others and care for others from her sick bed! SIN AND DEATH AND DISEASE HAD NO HOLD ON HER BECAUSE OF WHAT JESUS HAD DONE ON THE INSIDE OF HER!

She had accepted him as her Substitute, as her Redeemer, as her Savior, as her Healing, as her Wholeness, and in return she was FREE no matter what circumstances she was in…Halleluiah! She was freer than anyone of us I know and yet her body was dying and she was confined to her bed!

Halleluiah, Halleluiah, Halleluiah….I can see why she sang those words from her bed with her dying breath…she was free like NEVER BEFORE! PRAISE YOU JESUS…YOU ARE GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!!

She was free because Jesus had carried the illness for her and healed what mattered on the inside…her eternal spirit.

Come to Jesus today and let him heal you on the inside…stop trying to carry the illness and pain that you suffer and let him carry it for you as he did for Danni.

I saw these things with my very own eyes and so did many others and I am here to proclaim to you that Jesus our Messiah, our Savior is real and he works in marvelous ways even through the deepest, darkest set of circumstances! I testify to you today!

Fear Not! Fear God!

2009-02-14T10:36:00.005-05:00

February 14, 2009

Job 3:25-26 (NIV) “What I feared has come upon me, what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness ; I have no rest, but only turmoil.”

Most of the third chapter of Job is him cursing the day he was born. He has just had everything near and dear to him ripped away. He says an interesting thing in verse 25…”what I feared has come upon me…”

I always thought to myself, “How do people take care of special needs kids or anyone who is suffering?” I confess there was always a fear of this type of situation. Something I’ve learned is that God will always make you face your fears.

Going through an experience like I’ve just been through made me see just how faithful God is and how powerful is his perfect love to drive out any fear. (1John 4:18)

I have seen his deliverance first hand. I used to fear not having enough money but after I had seen the provision of the Lord time and time again I no longer have those fears. Slowly God is causing me to face my fears in order to deliver me from them!

There are others he did this for in the bible such as Moses, Gideon, Esther, Elijah, Job, Joshua, and the list goes on and on.

So if something that you have feared has come upon you; go to God and thank him for the opportunity for you to be able to see his deliverance first hand and repent for having feared that thing in the first place.

Many times we are commanded in the bible not to fear people or situations but we are however instructed constantly throughout the scriptures to fear the Lord. Strong’s Concordance number 3372 is used the most where “fear of the Lord” is used in the bible and it means this…to fear, revere, be afraid, to stand in awe of, be awed, honor, respect, be dreadful, be held in awe, terrify, and to inspire reverence.

These are all attitudes we need to have where God is concerned. It seems to me that the only thing we are instructed TO fear is God!

LIFE

2009-02-12T08:54:00.004-05:00

CRASH!!
LIFE HAS HAPPENED
PIECES OF DELICATE GLASS IN SHARDS ON THE GROUND
MY LIFE IS SHATTERED
HER LIFE IS SHATTERED
EVERYTHING IS IN PIECES ON THE GROUND
PIECES ARE GROUND INTO THE GROUND
BURIED DEEP IN THE GROUND

THEN THE MASTER CRAFTSMAN COMES
HE LOWERS HIS HAND TO THE GROUND
HE POURS THE WATER OF HIS WORD ONTO THE GROUND
AND THE PIECES COME FORTH FROM THE GROUND
HE POURS HIS WATERY WORD ON AGAIN
THE BROKENESS SHINES IN THE SUNLIGHT

HE LIFTS THE SHARDS GENTLY FROM THE GROUND
HIS PALLET STANDING BY
THE CANVAS IN FRONT OF HIM WHITE AND CLEAN, BRIGHT AND NEW
THIS IS A SPECIAL CANVAS THE LIGHT CAN SHINE THOUGH
HE GOES TO WORK WITH ALL THE PIECES OF BROKENESS
FROM EVERYWHERE HE CAN FIND
HE PICKS UP HIS BRUSH AND WITH LONG AND SHORT STROKES
HE MOVES THE COLOR
NEXT THE SHATTERED PIECES ARE AFFIXED IN PLACE

THE LIGHT OF HIS GLORY SHINES SO BRIGHTLY
COLORS ARRAY IN ALL DIRECTIONS
SUCH A THING OF BEAUTY THE MASTER CRAFTSMAN HAS CREATED
BY THE TOUCH OF HIS HAND AND THE WASHING OF HIS WORD
IT HANGS NOW IN THE GALLERY OF HEAVEN FOR ALL TO MARVEL
YOUR MASTERPEICES IS SO UNSPEAKABLE
FULL OF YOUR GLORY FATHER

I WILL TRUST IN YOU AT ALL TIMES FOR I HAVE SEEN WITH MY EYES
AND HAVE BELIEVED WITH MY HEART YOUR LOVE FOR ME

Sheep or Goat?

2009-02-10T12:03:00.002-05:00

February 10, 2009

I was up with the roosters this morning longing to know God more, he’s doing more work in me. After a time of prayer I began to write and as I did things weren’t coming together so I left it alone as I commonly do to let the dust settle and then I can often times convey my heart.

I had the word open to Matthew 25:31-46 as I was writing but it didn’t seem to fit. I was reading about the sheep and the goats how on Judgement Day God would separate the people according to how they treated one another.

I came back to my writing thoughts this afternoon after I had checked the scripture for the day on one of my favorite sites and low and behold there it was again…Matthew 25…the sheep and the goats. I wondered what it was that God was saying.

My thoughts were on Danni about how she was reliant upon me during the last months of her life. I thank God for the opportunity to have served her, mommies do anything for their babies. She hated that I had to do the things I did for her but I was glad to.

Jesus showed me one day that as I did things for her I was doing the same things as unto him. I did my best for her and for him.

Matthew 25 shows us that how we treat and how we care for others goes a long way with God and we will stand before him some day to give account. I have learned so much compassion for people from serving Danni and I am grateful for the opportunity to have been there for her. I love her so much. I miss her so much.

What we do for others in this life matters.

This week is one year when Danni was diagnosed and I am amazed how life changes, we don’t know when exactly the Lord will return but if we are wise we will lay all doctrine and preconceived ideas aside and cry out to God to know him as he really is and not how we have made him out to be in our minds based on our earthly experiences or what someone told us about him.

Time is short…little sheep...treat people well…seek him to KNOW him as he really is and stay close to the Word these are perilous times and life can change on a dime.

Strength in Weakness

2009-02-09T06:13:00.003-05:00

February 9, 2009

I love how my Father wakes me up every morning. We set our alarm to a local inspirational station and it never fails that the music seems to be handpicked for us. You know how when God is speaking to you many times you will hear the same scripture over and over from several different people and sources?

The song this morning was one I had never heard before but contained the following scriptures that have continually been presented to me in the last few days.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

I confess I had to repent for my prideful way of coming to the Lord in my “strength”. He would give me something to read and I would think in my mind, okay, I’ve read this and I know this story.

Consequently, God has been quiet lately and I haven’t been receiving much from the word. I thank God for showing me my error and I will come to him in my weakness that his power can be made perfect and that Christ’s power may rest on me as the scripture says above.

I think many times God is quiet when we come to him because he is waiting for us to come with a humble heart that is willing to receive what he has to say.

I am thankful for Romans 8:26-27 and Hebrews 4:14-16 which allowed me to see the grace of God and just how sufficient it is for me. I love how God always goes before us and provides all we need.

God, I want to know you, I want to experience your love for me deeper than I have ever known. Help me to fully surrender myself to you humble and weak so that your power can be made perfect in me and that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Help me not to fear and fill me with your joy and peace. Bring healing to my spirit. Help me to be wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove. Grant me favor in your courts and help me to hear your voice clearly. Help me be obedient to your voice at all times. Thank you that you will give me the desires of my heart as I stay focused on you.

Keep me from evil, give me all I need for today and let your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Thank you that your Spirit is interceding for me. Amen

Endless Supply

2009-02-06T10:52:00.006-05:00

February 6, 2009

Yesterday I read a news story about a 93 year old man who froze to death in his home because he didn’t pay his heating bill of nearly $1000 and the heating company shut off his source of energy. After the man died a hospital received from him $600,000! He had the money why didn’t he use it? How did this needlessly happen?

As I thought about this I realized that this is the way we as followers of Christ live our lives. We fret and stew about small potato stuff not realizing or believing that we have a Father that is of endless supply! In Luke 12:22-34, Jesus tells the people not to worry about the small stuff (my paraphrase) but to seek the kingdom and these things will be given you as well. GOD IS OUR SUPPLY!

I love the next verse (32), “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom…” Going on it says to sell your possessions and give to the poor. If we see a need in our brothers and sisters give to that need. This is how the kingdom operated at that time.

How can we see the members of the body in need and not help them if it is within our power to do so? How can we send them away and say be warm and fed when they have nothing? (James 2:16) Or better yet should we say we won’t help a person because they haven’t got a job?

In the original church, Acts 2:45 says, “Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.” Is this is how Jesus intends for the kingdom to work? Again in Act 4:32-34 it says, “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. From time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales, and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.”

What a radical thought. It is amazing to me that they sold the things they had for the shear purpose of supplying for another believer, the funds were given to those who had need in the body IF there was a need!

Radical! But look at what unity came from this type of behavior and most importantly it says “With GREAT POWER the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus.” Isn’t this the focus and goal of the believer’s life?

God tells us not to worry about the small stuff of everyday life but to focus on the kingdom seeking it with our whole heart and I don’t know about you but this is really challenging me to do some things different with the money and possessions I’ve been given. People... in these dark days we have got to have the gospel in our mouths and be able to proclaim it with GREAT POWER! GOD IS OUR SUPPLY!

Father, show us, lead us; forgive me for fretting the small stuff. Teach us how your kingdom operates and speak through your church with GREAT POWER the testimonies you have put within us! AMEN!

I challenge you to take these scriptures and find others…pray and seek the kingdom…see what God has to say to you individually and be obedient to what he is telling you to do.

Family

2009-02-02T09:26:00.004-05:00

February 2, 2009

Near the end of 2004 our family suffered from divorce and our lives were torn apart. Everything Matt had known in his 17 years of marriage and everything I had known in my 16 years of marriage crumbled into pieces.

When divorce happens each married partner shoulders the blame, no one is perfect and there are many things that contribute to the dissolve of a marriage. In all cases it’s the children who are scarred most deeply. Our experience was no different.

For Matt and I our paths came together in 2005 through mutual friends and love and understanding was planted and began to grow. All throughout our courtship we submitted our relationship to God even to the point where we agreed to be apart for a time in the beginning to wait upon God and give ourselves time to get our bearings.

At other times we agreed in prayer that if God did not want us together that he would break us up. We had both been married and knew the depth of what we were entering into. We knew that it would take more than "love" to hold us together…we would need God, true Love, in the center to navigate the waters ahead.

In October of 2005 we felt confident that the Lord had brought us together and we married. We knew it would be difficult as the odds were stacked against us and we had an insurmountable task ahead of us putting two families of deeply hurt children together. Danni was 16, Jessi was 12 and Atlee was 7 at the time. Matt has two children, Mallorie 17 and Wesley 15; these were their ages when we were married.

Step parenting as many of you know is a tremendous challenge. There are so many elements that come into play that don’t exist in a first marriage family. I won’t take time to go into these now but I would like to express that it can also be very rewarding.

Something happed to our family through the time of Danni’s illness, we came together. While the circumstances were very bad God brought good to us and our children. It was a beautiful thing to watch as our children matured and saw what was really important in life. They were changed forever in a positive way.

Last week we took all our children to Florida for a vacation and God did an even deeper work of reconciliation in our family bringing us together. It has been three years since Matt and I were married and we have had enormous mountains and deep valleys to cross and I’m sure that we still have more to walk through but we have also experienced great joy and healing thanks to the Grace of God.

I want to encourage those of you today who may be walking in a second or third marriage with stepchildren that God can work in your circumstances if you surrender to him.

I also want to encourage those of you who may be toying with the idea of divorce to step back check your motives, go to God and ask him to show you the truth about yourself and take a second look into the faces of your children because they will be the ones left spinning in your wake. It is a very painful thing for all parties involved. I know why God hates divorce. (Malachi 2:13-16)

I also understand that there are times and circumstances that divorce cannot be avoided. I am in no way judging any situation I am in no position to do so but I know that when I turn to God he has always been there for me and if you turn to him he will be there for you too.

I think most times we have to suffer things in life to gain understanding of life. Hebrews 5:8 (NIV) says that, “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.” This scripture is speaking of Jesus, why do we think that we will not have to endure suffering? Why are we so surprised when it comes to us?

Danni taught me to “trust God and never give up” her words exactly. I have suffered much in this life but every time God has taken my hand as he did for Danni and walked me through the valley only to come out in victory on the other side. He will continue to walk with me till the end of my journey, God is faithful!

Give your life to him today and he will be a rock in the deepest, darkest moments of life. Trouble in life is guaranteed at some point and time for all of us. Jesus is the way through those times if you want to come out on the other side a better person. I’m speaking from experience.

Father, I know you put this on my heart today for someone, speak to their hearts and I pray they would not harden their heart toward you. I ask that they would be able to surrender themselves to you wholly and that they would cling to you. Strengthen them in their time of need. Encourage their hearts today that you see their situation and you are close to them even if they cannot “feel” your presence.

I know your love, grace, mercy and compassion for them as I have experienced it myself. Pour out your kindness upon them; bring peace and release to their spirits. Thank you Father Amen.

Songs of Deliverance

2009-01-23T07:27:00.005-05:00

January 23, 2009

Sometimes I forget what I am here to do, what my purpose is in this life and I get all wrapped up in the events of the day. I had some errands to run the other day and I was in a hurry because I had an appointment and I wanted to get the errands accomplished before my meeting.

In my rush it didn’t even cross my mind that it was Martin Luther King Day and the main place I had to go was closed in the observance of this special day. I drove over there with so many thoughts of things I wanted to get done that I almost got in a wreck! That didn’t stop me I was a woman on a mission! Have you ever been there?

All around me nature was singing its heart out the trees were covered with a thick frost from a heavy fog that had lingered over them early that morning. They were radiant with the Glory of God blanketing their branches, white and sparkling like diamonds.

Gently he sang to me over and over again on the way with each tree and the beauty of the day. Finally, after I figured out that it was a holiday and I wouldn’t be able to do the “most important” task it was if God shook me and said, “Hello, anyone home?” and I realized what had happened. It was at that point that I repented and slowed myself to actually enjoy what I was witnessing.

God was surrounding me with songs of deliverance, His Glory covering the earth and I almost missed it. What a wonderful God we have, I love his word. Psalm 32:7 says, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah” Selah means to pause and think about what has just been said.
I love how God uses Selah to tell us that only way we little humans will get what he is saying is to stop ourselves and give it some thought. He’s so kind, he really wants us to get it!

I had a “Selah” moment as I stopped the car on a dirt road and as I rolled my window down to take some pictures I listened to the silence and peace that the beauty around me displayed. I received it as a gift of God’s love to me who had kept me safe through the whole ordeal…he never gave up on me he kept singing and singing until he broke through to me.

Psalm 13:5&6 says, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” This is my purpose to sing and praise God for the rest of eternity in all the things I do and say to everyone I meet showing them the way to hear the songs of deliverance that surround them that they may be able to hear. Selah.

Father, today I pray that your love will blanket everyone who reads this and cover them in white and shining diamonds so that the world may see your glory and come to know you and accept you as their Savior. May they experience your songs of deliverance today. Amen.

Happy 20th Danni!!

2009-01-21T01:03:00.007-05:00

January 21, 2009

Happy Birthday Sharky! I miss you so much. I was thinking this morning about the time I first held you in my arms. I was so amazed at what had just happened. My life had changed forever and like so many times before since you came to me my life is changed again.

I remember the day I took you to church in your pretty little dress and held you again in my arms before God and dedicated you to Him. You were his from the beginning as you are his now.

I remember birthday parties every year, cake on your face and in your hair, when you were younger of course :) and as you grew I watched you mature.

Strong, beautiful and very independent...I don't know the exact day you had that experience with God where you saw your need for Him and you stood on your own before Him and asked Him to come into your life but you dedicated yourself to Him and for this I am eternally grateful.

Such peace I saw in you, such grace, such mercy and love...you were my child but you were my teacher. I know if you were here and you could speak you'd tell everyone you knew to give their lives as you have done. To come to Jesus and find rest for their soul, peace for their spirit and everlasting joy for their heart.

I know you are part of that great cloud of witnesses the word speaks of and you are watching me now, cheering me on, cheering us all on. Sing with the angels my beautiful girl.

I love you so much...Mom

Cuddle Up!

2009-01-19T07:08:00.003-05:00

January 19, 2009

Seems like every time I sit down our old cat wants to be on my lap or lying up against me. I’ve also noticed that she has found a warm spot on the floor in front of the kitchen sink. There is a heat duct there and it is always a very toasty spot.

With the arctic cold we’ve had even our younger cat doesn’t want to go out all night like he is accustom to doing. He doesn’t like all the snow sticking to his thick fur. I’ve been the same way though; I just want to cuddle up with a nice warm blanket and cup of coffee.

I was spending time with the Lord the other day when he took me to Proverbs chapter 2 and as I read verse 6 really stood out to me. It says, “For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” As I thought about this another scripture came to mind from Revelation 3:15-21, this is where the Lord is speaking to the Church of Laodicea.

He tells them that he has seen all their deeds but that they are lukewarm towards him and he is about to spit them out of his mouth. This sparked an interest in me and I went to my favorite online bible study place and typed in the word “mouth”…I wanted to see what all the mouth of God had in it.

There are a lot of “mouth” references in the bible but the two biggest associated with God that I could see were concerning His Word and fire. (Job 41:14, 19, 21, PS 18:8, PS 33:6, Matt 4:4). In such cold, dark times that we are in I think it wise for those of us who love and follow Jesus to stay by the fire of God reading and absorbing his Word like never before.

I think this is his message to me and all who call themselves believers to come to him and ask him to stoke the fire within us, to stir us up and thaw us out bringing us back to our first love for him. We need his wisdom, knowledge and understanding, it’s the only way to make it to the finish line victorious.

I found myself asking God for these very things, I drew near to him and he drew near to me (James 4:8) I don’t want to be spat out of the mouth of the Lord, I need him. Take time to cuddle up with God today and read his word; ask him for wisdom, knowledge and understanding and for his fire to bring you back to your first love for him.

He misses you.

Frozen Pipes

2009-01-16T08:57:00.002-05:00

January 16, 2009

Matt discovered that we had frozen pipes this morning when he went to take a shower. In all the years we’ve lived here we’ve never had a frozen pipe in that bathroom. All the plans changed and everything had to come out of the closet that was in the way so that my brave hubby could crawl behind the wall to thaw them.

This had to be made a priority before they burst and sent water spewing everywhere. We scrambled to quickly and quietly take care of the problem so that we didn’t wake the household. With the mission accomplished, Matt got ready to go to work and I put the rest of the things back into the closet. I found my “Complete Jewish Bible” amidst the items strewn on the floor and I decided to take it downstairs and read it.

As I read Psalms 23, I was struck by the words in verse 4… “Even if I pass through death-dark ravines, I will fear no disaster; for you are with me; your rod and staff reassure me.” (Complete Jewish Bible version). Even though we went through trial this morning the Lord was there and we didn’t need to fear the disaster .

We will never know what the Lord protected us from and what seemed like a huge inconvenience may have been God’s vehicle of salvation! God always has our best in mind even when we face trials of many kinds… the Bible even says we should rejoice! (1Peter 1:6)

If you feel like God is disciplining you this morning be reassured by his rod and staff that he is there and has a good purpose for the things which you are enduring. But watch how you handle yourself…because He is watching and waiting to see if what he has taught you has been learned by you. He wants you to succeed and the only way to do that is to turn to him.

He will give you the answers to the trial you’re facing. We have the Word of God the “text book” at our disposal any time of day and it’s an open book test! We also have a direct line to the throne room of God into which the Bible says we may come with confidence. (Heb 4:16) All this we have available to us but how many times do I try to handle things on my own?

Father, I need you…I come with confidence into your throne room, before your throne and I ask that you help me with any and every trial I will face today and in the future. I want to bring glory to you and not dishonor your name. Help me to immediately turn to you when I feel the flood waters rising. Thank you for your faithfulness to be there and save me time and time again.

Thanks for helping us with the pipes today and sparing us from what the enemy had planned.

I love you, Jesus…Amen.

Ten Minas

2009-01-11T08:12:00.003-05:00

January 11, 2009

If you want to see where I’m coming from read Luke 19:11-27.

If you are alive there is no doubt in my mind you will find yourself among these 4 kinds of people. Step back from yourself and ask the Lord to show you who you are because it is easy to deceive ourselves (Romans 12:3, 1 John 1:8).

Father, open our eyes to see where we honestly fit into this important parable. Amen
On the way to Jerusalem it says that the people had one thing in mind that the kingdom was going to appear at once. But Jesus had other thoughts and he told them a story to illustrate to them what was more important.

The first group of people we see are those who (vs. 14) hated the king and didn’t want him to rule over them, these are the ones who want to do everything their way, they don’t need God. We’ll see later in the text what happens to them.

The second person is the one entrusted with 10 minas. This is a servant of the king that receives all God (the king) has for him and puts it to work for God investing it in others. In order for this servant and the next to cause the minas to increase they had to invest in another. They had to trust someone else with what they had been given to receive a return.

The third person is entrusted with 5 minas. He doesn’t have as much as the 10 mina servant but it’s not about the amount that is entrusted to the servant but what the servant does with what God (the king) gave him. I see a good attitude in this servant, he doesn’t compare himself with the 10 mina servant he just does the best he can with what he’s been given and he is rewarded with a 100 fold return just like the 10 mina servant!

The last person is the servant who is motivated by fear. This is a judgmental person. This servant judged his master unfairly. He was critical of things he knew nothing about. I say this because of the response of the king in verse 22.

In the end, that servant lost everything and it was given to the one who had the ten minas (vs.24). The first group who wanted nothing to do with the king were brought before the king and killed (vs.27). This is a warning to those who don’t think they need Jesus.

I find that this passage is more about attitudes of the heart than what they had been given or not given. Faithfulness is what God is looking for in all of those who serve him and there is a reward for this…look at verse 17. Jesus says that these were “very small matters” and because they were faithful in the “small” things the servants who were faithful were given cities to rule over in accordance with what they were first entrusted.

I think that at least one or more times in everyone’s lives they have found themselves in one or more of these positions. I had to repent of a judgmental, critical attitude myself. But if you see yourself there remember that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) we are all learning as we go… just repent, receive God’s forgiveness and go on! Ask the Lord to help you, thank him for revealing your heart to you so that you can be cleansed of these things and learn from your mistakes.

If you have not received Jesus as your Savior, ask him to come into your life, repent of your sins as well and receive him as your only hope of survival. We will all stand before a righteous God and no one will be good enough, only Jesus. He is our attorney, if you will, and I’m going to need a good one!

Jesus the Triumphant!

2009-01-07T05:42:00.003-05:00

January 7, 2009

The alarm went off this morning to one of my favorite songs, Mighty to Save, this song grabs me and causes me to worship with passion every time I hear it. The truth in it is so powerful! I went downstairs to spend some time asking the Lord what he had to say today and he took me to Mark 11.

What a picture…Jesus rides into town on a donkey and the crowd goes wild. As I read the Lord began to reveal some things to me.

Mark 11:1-10
And when they drew near to Jerusalem, to Bethpage and Bethany, toward the Mount of Olives, He sent two of His disciples, and He said to them, “Go into the village opposite you. And going into it at once, you will find a colt tied, on which no one of men has sat. Untying it, bring it. And if anyone says to you, ‘Why do you do this?’ say, ‘The Lord has need of it,’ and he will at once send it here.”

And they departed and found the colt tied at the door outside, by the crossway; and they untied it. And some of those standing there said to them, “What are you doing, untying the colt? And they said to them as Jesus commanded. And they let them go. And they led the colt to Jesus. And they threw their garments on it, and He sat on it.

And many spread their garments on the highway, and others were cutting branches from the trees and were spreading them on the highway. And those going before, and those following after, were crying out, saying, “Hosanna! Blessed is the One coming in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David in the name of the Lord! Hosanna in the highest!”

In my study of these scriptures I went to the Strongs Concordance Interlinear Bible that I found on the shelf, I must have picked it up on sale somewhere as it has a sticker on it that says $12.88. Oh if the world only knew the value of the things printed inside!

Anyways, in verse 1 looking at the words Bethphage literally in the Greek “ house” and Bethany meaning “date-house.” Jesus had a date to keep at this house; he was right on time with what God had planned.

Verse 2: “The colt on which no one of men has sat…” Only Jesus could sit on this new thing (the colt) that he was doing, He was in the place of authority and the new thing that was happening would be dictated by the Father’s will. There would be no bucking! I think it very symbolic also that his disciples were commanded to bring the colt to him.

How awesome that Jesus would give them a part in all that he was doing confirming his power to them just as he does us. We are the “donkey” he uses to make an impact on the people around us.

Verse 3, 5& 6: “Why do you do this?”… People will always question you when you attempt to do something for God. You can be confident of that because he asks us to do things out of the norm, out of the box. But Jesus told them how to handle these hurdles. He told them to tell the people that the Lord has need of it. The Lord is in control and if he tells you to do something he will provide all you need and it will be released to you. He will provide IF he has asked you to do it!

Verse 4: “The colt was tied at the door, outside by the crossway”… Here was this new thing God was doing tied by the door at a fork in the road. How profound. The colt was waiting at the entry (the door) and at a turning point in the road. A clear “road sign” that something awesome what about to occur.

Verse 7: “…they threw their garments on the colt…” Those clothes were important to them. These were the clothes that covered their flesh and He sat upon them…symbolically ruling over the flesh.

Verse 8: “…Many spread their garments on the highway…” Many were moved in their hearts to give the valuable thing to him, to give their all and to proclaim him as King over them but others cut branches from the trees, they weren’t going to go so far as to offer this man all that they had.

Verse 9: Regardless of where they were in their walk with him some in front of him and some behind they cried out! Literally according to the Strongs O save! Blessed is the One coming in position in authority and character with supreme authority! (Strongs numbers 2127, 2064, 1722, 3686 & 2962)

Verse 10: Blessed is the coming royalty, rule, realm into position in authority and character, with supreme authority, of our father David. O save in the heavens most supreme God! (Strongs number 2127, 2064, 932, 1722, 3686, 2962, 3962, 2257, 1138, 5614, 1722, & 5310)

Interestingly enough they speak of David as their father and not Abraham. David was a man after God’s own heart and the work that Jesus does in us makes us to be like the Father.

This whole scene is a clear proclamation before the literal fulfillment came in the natural that is before Christ was crucified and raised from the dead delivering us all to be like him in his kingdom in a position of authority with him. But we have to lay down our “coats”, our fleshly ways and give it all to Jesus the King of Glory to ride, rule, and reign upon.

I don’t know whether or not the people understood politically or spiritually what they were proclaiming but either way they were proclaiming exactly who Jesus was and exactly what he was sent to do! There has to be a proclamation of faith before the Lord moves in the natural. Over and over again in Genesis 1 the scripture says, “And God said….and it was so”.

The picture of the triumphant entry is so beautiful, so full of deep meaning and it seems that every word speaks more just under the surface.

Father, today I lay down myself, my “coat”, and all things valuable to me for you to rule over. Show me what my proclamation is today; show me what you want to teach me about speaking in faith those things that are not yet made known in the natural.

O SAVE! Supreme God! Take the place of authority in my life, rule and reign over every word, over every thought. I submit to your authority use me to the fullest to proclaim your Glory and help us see who you are and our desperate need for you. To you be the Glory…Amen!

A View from the Red Chair by Penny Shrock

2009-01-03T13:48:00.000-05:00

The red chair, given as a thoughtful, loving gift for Danni, became a place of rest and comfort to those who came and went from Danni’s room. It has an inviting shape with fur upholstery that is irresistible to touch.
I believe there might be 101 and 1 positions in which you could find to sleep on that chair.
I think Danni must have found it funny just observing the old ladies, twisted and folded trying to find rest while on loving watch with Danni. More important than the rest that was found on the chair were the amazing observations from it. These are the observations of one of Danni’s admirers;

I watched, feeling helpless to offer any help to the situation.
I watched as Christy administered love and medicine-always with patience and tenderness.
I watch as Kent and Alicia came to love on Danni.
I watched as Matt, otherwise known as the McMuffin to Danni, would pray and read scripture to her.
I watched as her brothers and sisters would go about their lives but still drift in and out of the room, sweetly checking on her.
I prayed as I laid on the Chair, “God, please bring her comfort and relief”.
We laughed- ohhhh how we laughed.
I gave thanks from the chair as Danni’s sense of humor would fill the room.
Thank you God for the trip to Cedar Point. The shopping trip, the car rides all taken with Danni while we sat in the chair. Thank you God for all the sweet “Here we goes” that came from her lips. I watched as Danni had a fencing Match with Grandpa Allen, until she muttered, “no fencing in the house.” And let’s not forget the Laser eyes!! Danni would flash a little grin when she would stun a visitor with her laser eyes.
Thank you for the sight of Danni’s hand raised in the air, and her response when asked if she was okay, “yep….. I’m just dancing”.
I was blessed to rise from the chair and help lovingly to move her legs whenever they were trapped and to put her oxygen back in place.
My heart broke as I listened to her pray for God to help her.
In all of this she would continually offer “”thank you. And would worry about her family.
I learned that Danni had amazing friends, and the most wonderful neighbors.
I learned from that chair that with God’s help we can endure the seemingly impossible, that He is truly with us when we walk through the fire.
I learned that we old ladies need a lot of sleep or we get rather silly at 3 am.
I learned that grandma and grandpas have the tenderest hearts in the universe.
I learned that my faith is not diminished nor defined by what God chooses to do.
I learned that I serve an overwhelmingly huge God, beyond my understanding.
I know that for the days to come he will sweetly reveal many more views from the red chair.
Danni and Jesus, what a thanksgiving!!!! While we dined on our turkey and gravy, Danni dined with the King!!!
Thank you God for the privilege to spend time in the red chair. Thank you for your kindness to all who spent time there. Continue to bless Danni’s family, give them Grace in the days ahead. Thank you so much for the Gift of Danni. I sure loved her while she was here. I can’t wait to meet her in heaven, and have her grab my hand and with a grin say
“here we go.”

Relax and Enjoy

2009-01-02T10:14:00.002-05:00

January 2, 2009

Ecclesiastes 5:18 (Message version)

After looking at the way things are on this earth, here's what I've decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that's about it. That's the human lot.
5:19
Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what's given and delighting in the work. It's God's gift!
5:20
God deals out joy in the present, the now. It's useless to brood over how long we might live.

As I looked over Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 this morning I had so many questions in my heart. Why here? Why did you lead me here? How can I relay what this scripture says to people in this economy who may not even have a job?

After I thought about this scripture for a while, I realized that it wasn’t so much about having a job and enjoying that job as it was the accepting your lot in life and being satisfied with what God has given you and where God has put you. It is also thinking about the present joys that God has given you so that we don’t get all caught up in how long we may or may not live.

I don’t know what it is about me that makes me always think about living somewhere warm or having more things. Ecclesiastes says these things are meaningless. I have had thoughts like, “Is this all there is to this life, eating, working, sleeping, eating, working, sleeping, and laundry every now and then.” These scriptures seem to indicate… yep, that’s pretty much it better enjoy it while you can.

I’m wondering if I have ever just accepted that this could be it for me. Living where I live, doing what I do and then dying someday. Acceptance must be the key to enjoying life. Maybe God won’t change any of our circumstances until we learn to enjoy where he’s put us and trust that he knows best even if we stay where we are for the rest of our lives.

Father, help me to just relax and enjoy the life you’ve given me. Help me to stop thinking of all the possibilities of life and just take joy in the moment accepting all that you’ve given me. Thank you for giving me the ability to put life into eternal perspective and help me not get so caught up in all the details, trusting that you will put me where I need to be for whatever your reasons and I can trust you.

I am coming to see more and more that there is no hurry to life, that enjoying every moment is important and that I can rest in the assurance of the salvation given me by my loving Lord taking all the time I need to get to know him and his ways.

Help me to remember your words when the time of testing comes, Jesus. I love you Lord. Thank you for your peace. Amen.

No One Like Our God!!

2008-12-31T07:03:00.005-05:00

December 31, 2008

GOD I PRAISE YOU! THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU!!! WORTHY! WORTHY! WORTHY! WORTHY! WORTHY! Thank you Lord for bringing us through the fire, through the waters, through the flood safely to the other shore and into a new land! Amen! Amen! Amen!

Close your eyes because the video doesn't match very well and just let the words sink in! This is Kelanie Gloeckler and her CD Brave New Worship is awesome!!

BE....Attitudes

2008-12-29T08:30:00.006-05:00

December 29, 2008

Yesterday morning during our bible study we looked at the BE….Attitudes, those characteristics that Jesus said we should have if we want to be blessed. We had fun as a family discussing what all this means. I particularly like how the Message puts it.

Matthew 5
You're Blessed

1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:

3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

I really could identify with the verses 3 & 4. Man, if I could tell people one thing it is that the Word of God is true! So true! When all there is to go on is God you can really see him move! He embraces you, he surrounds you and delivers you out of situations that would crush most. God is reliable! He is real!

He has so much love and grace and mercy that he’s just bursting, he can’t help himself…he has to give it! It has nothing to do with our deserving it! It’s about God!

Verse 5 is something I’m still learning. Not to worry what others think of me and just be who I am in God. I don’t want to be swayed or moved by anyone’s opinion.

Verse 6 makes me think of a vision I had once of a long table stretching so far you can’t see the end of it and it was set with the finest of place settings. But the table was empty, there was no one interested enough to sit down and eat and drink.

A few days before Danni passed away I had a this same vision of the table only she sat across from me in a beautiful white garment with a sparkling crown on her head.

Jesus sat at the head of the table and we all held hands. Twice in the day this vision came to me out of the blue. I told no one of what I had seen and at the end of that day I was led to pray with Danni, it was one of her last cognizant moments. She couldn’t talk much but as we prayed she said, “Table”.

I asked her if she saw a table and she replied, “Yes”. I asked her if she was sitting at a table and she said, “Yes”. She then proceeded to say, “He’s going to shut up the table,” and I said, “No! The table must be filled with souls!” and she agreed.

The Lord says to pray to him while he can be found (PS 32:6) and that he prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies (PS 23:5). Folks this table exists and it there for all who call upon the Lord to eat and drink of him. My prayer is that he makes us all hungry and thirsty for his righteousness and allows us to see what deliquesces are put before us .

Verse 7 speaks of sowing and reaping. Verse 8 speaks of the work of the Spirit in our hearts and minds. In verse 9, Jesus is saying you are all of one body, GET ALONG! (This is my paraphrase).

Verses 10, 11 and 12 have to do with the persecutions that we WILL suffer on his behalf and the rewards that come with doing so. I think that if there are no persecutions in our lives we aren’t getting it right! It may be time to go to the table with God and say, "What is it that needs to change in me." And, "Lord change me!"

When you pray this way, expect tribulation to come to you but don’t fear it rather embrace it as the tool in God’s hand that is doing the work in you. Praise him for it! Count it all joy, not that you have to be all giggly about it but have peace during the trial knowing that God has answered your prayers and you will be forever changed! Amen!

One Month Today

2008-12-27T10:36:00.003-05:00

December 27, 2008

Hey Danni-

It’s been a month today since you’ve gone to be with Jesus. I sure miss you but I’m glad you’re home safe. A lot has happened since you’ve been gone and a lot just went back to normal.

Jessi and Atlee are doing fine; they spent all day after Christmas building this roller coaster toy while Matt and I put a new storm door on the front of the house. So many people came to see you and help us that the old hinges just couldn’t take it anymore! What a wonderful situation! We had fun working together, Matt and me.

I hope you don’t mind I went through your room and through your clothes and got them ready for someone who is in need just like you requested. We also went and ordered you a beautiful memorial stone that the man will come and install in the spring.

A boy died in our community, it was a sledding accident. His parents are friends of mine and we went to school together, if you haven’t met him maybe you could look him up and show him around I’m sure you have heaven down pat by now. Or maybe not it’s I imagine it's probably a pretty big place.

Your room is a mess, bags of clothes here and there and your pictures are still sitting out. I hope you’re not upset with me but I read your journal. I was so blessed by the gift you left me. The gift of your words, words of thankfulness and kindness and concern for others. It’s so neat to see your hand writing.

I kept your lamby slippers you loved so much for me and when I wear them I feel you near.

It’s so hard to believe you are gone. My sweet Sharky. I have so many memories of you making me laugh. They overshadow the dark and painful ones; it seems they are connected to them for the sole purpose of helping me to get through them.

You can never know how you impacted my life and so many others. Now you are part of that great “cloud of witnesses” the word speaks of in Hebrews 12:1. I want to throw off those things that hinder like you did and finish the race before me with perseverance. You are such an inspiration to me. Now whenever things get hard I know that I will make it just like you did. Turning to God, never giving up, and trusting in Him with my whole heart in any and every situation I encounter.

I press on just like you would have if the situation had been reversed and my life is forever changed and strengthened because of the work I saw accomplished in you.

Life is quiet now. I’ve been planning that trip to the beach we were going to take when you got better, Lord willing we should be able to go for your birthday. Now you’re better so we can go and I know you’ll be with us there.

I’m doing fine, just like I told you I would. I love you Danni. I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Mom

Haw-weh-ooo-yah!

2008-12-21T06:37:00.002-05:00

December 21, 2008

The day before Danni died many things transpired; one thing I remember is that she began to sing. Her song was beautiful. Through the medication fog she sang, “Haw-weh-ooo-yah, haw-weh-ooo-yah, haw-weh-ooo-yah,” over and over she sang these words, pure hallelujahs from her heart to her King.

This morning as I lay in bed thinking of her I heard her sing again, clear as the wind whirling around the house, “haw-weh-ooo-yah, haw-weh-ooo-yah,” I can hear it in my heart as I write. I feel her close to me today, I know she’s gone but she’s close. Pure and sweet, I hear her and tears of joy streamed down my cheeks.

I know where she is, I don’t have to worry.

I was thinking about Luke 21 this morning. “When will these things happen? And what will be the sign that they are about to take place?” was the question the disciples had for Jesus on this particular day (Luke 21:7). He answered them with several things to look for such as:

Those coming in his name claiming, ‘I am he, and, ‘the time is near.’ (vs. 8) Revolutions, nations rising against nations, kingdoms against kingdoms, (vs. 9-10), great earthquakes, famines and pestilence in various places, fearful events and great signs from heaven. (vs. 11)

We will be persecuted and betrayed by close family members, we will be witnesses for him and he will give us words to speak to those who do these things to us, men will hate us because of Jesus but we will not perish if we stand firm. (Paraphrase of Luke 21: 12-19).

Jerusalem will be surrounded by armies and scripture says “…you will know that it’s desolation is near…” It goes on to instruct us as to what we should do at that time…FLEE to the mountains! (vs. 20-21) There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars, we will be perplexed at the roaring and tossing of the sea, men will faint from terror. (vs. 25-26)

What does this have to do with Danni’s song? Look at verse 28 of Luke 21 “When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.” I love that! Danni sang when she saw her redemption drawing near.

I wonder if she saw Jesus coming on the clouds for her, if she heard the angels singing and sang along with them. For all the doom and gloom of this scripture, there is hope, hallelujah! There is hope!

Later on in that same scripture Jesus warns us to be careful not to let our hearts be weighed down with “dissipation (breaking up and scattering by dispersion, dissalolute: indulgence in sensual pleasure, useless or profitless activity), drunkenness and the anxieties of life..” because “it will come upon all who live on the face of the whole earth.” (vs. 34-35)

Jesus last words in this scripture are this in verse36, “Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.”

I’m not even going to pretend that I know where we are in the scheme of things but these last words ring in my ears like the sweet “haw-weh-ooo-yahs” of my daughter and I want to be able to stand before the Son of Man (JESUS) with as pure a heart as she did.

Father, help me not be off my guard for one minute and when you come I pray you would find faithfulness in me, I pray for myself and all I love that we would be able to escape all that is about to happen. Thank you Father that you delivered Danni safely home! I praise you! I praise you!

Be with us and make us very aware of your presence with us today. Where I have sinned, I ask your forgiveness and that you would cleanse me with your precious blood once again. For those who don’t know you but are called according to your purpose I pray for salvation to come quickly to them so that they may be watchful as well.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, I sing with Danni, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah….come quickly Lord Jesus! Amen.

Busy, Busy, Busy...

2008-12-17T00:17:00.007-05:00

December 16, 2008

I feel like a blank page eagerly awaiting the Master’s pen, I try to busy myself with Christmas preparation but everything seems meaningless. I feel as if I’m awake and the whole world is asleep maybe it’s because everyone is sleeping here. I’m stirred in my spirit.

An old lady came up to me in the store I was in today and asked me to tell her the way to get out of there. I wasn’t sure where she wanted to go and she seemed confused, was she all alone? What was she doing out by herself? I pointed her to the nearest exit and she muttered something as she walked away from me toward the doors to the outside.

Why do thoughts of her stir me when I should be sleeping? Was she an angel in disguise? Did I do enough for her? Why did she pick me? I had my back to her, she couldn’t see if I was good or bad, kind or cross. Did I entertain an angel unaware?

I feel the presence of God as I write. He’s upon me, what is it he wants to say? What does he want me to write?

How many times have I had encounters with people who need my help but I was too busy to pull myself away from my selfish desires? Isn’t that one of the “biggy” commands that Jesus left us with? The command to love our neighbor as ourselves is what I’m referring to.

Angel or human that lady was a divine encounter today, those are the happenings that make you wonder. They grab your attention and make you think inside. It’s like God shakes you and says, “Wake up! Get your focus off of yourself! Be ready, you never know what I will require and what moment I will require it! Be ready!”

The world seems to be on a downward spiral. Take one look at the news and you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to see that maybe, just maybe, a higher power is trying to get our attention. There are more important things in life than our favorite TV shows, just the right clothes or foods.

What can I do? What is it that you want me to do, God? I feel so different inside, everything has changed for me. I’m so tired of the mundane do this do that that doesn’t make a hill of beans. Frivolous busy work, I’m sick to death of it. We run here and there like headless chickens trying to accomplish who knows what to live up to the expectations that someone else has put on us.

You have to mourn this way; this is what mourning looks like. You have to go to church this way and do what is expected because that’s what it looks like. You have to do, do, do because that’s what being a follower of Christ is, that’s how it’s done.

Martha ran around all concerned about the details, she couldn’t figure out why Mary wasn’t responding to her expectations! Jesus said to her in Luke 10: 41-42…”Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her.”

In all this busyness did it ever occur to us that if we would take time to sit at Jesus feet and be totally caught up with him and his word that we would have a far more peaceful and productive life?

What if just for one day we stopped the crazy busyness and defied the expectations of everyone. There is no doubt it would be a fight, we would have to radically focus on God. No time is always the excuse but all we have is time and it’s swirling down like a sink full of water with the drain plug taken out.

We are headed at breakneck speed for eternity and all we can think about is how to make ourselves acceptable to the rest of the human race all the while ignoring the Creator of the Universe who holds all of time in his hand.

Is anyone else awake? Does anyone hear me? Maybe this is just for me.

How do we live life here on earth knowing that eternity awaits us? How can the insignificant things of this world possibly hold our attention when the God of the Universe stands face to face with us?

I feel so small. I’m so foolish. Forgive me Lord.

My meeting today with the little old lady was a sign from heaven; “LOOK UP” said the sign. “There’s more to life than this, don’t let man’s expectations take from you the ONLY THING THAT’S NEEDED, THE BETTER CHOICE.

Take the seat at the feet of the one who holds eternity in his hands. He can show us how to do the will of the Father if only we will stop and take time to let him.

Praises Along the Way--Precious Memories

2008-12-11T10:18:00.002-05:00

December 11, 2008

I sat in Danni’s room with my bowl of cereal; the light from the window shone through my bowl and left diamonds of light for our cat to chase around the room. I know, cheap entertainment, but it made for an amusing breakfast.

The house is quiet, my mom has gone home and life has returned to normal, whatever that is and I can’t help thinking about the future, what does it hold for me? What will God have me to do next? I can think of a million things I need to do here at our home but what does he want me to do, what is it he’s calling me to, where is he working?

I want to be like Jesus and work where I see my Father working, but what? Where? I’m seeking him for the answers to these questions.

Memories of Danni are everywhere; she’s still here in the objects she used, in the things she created and in our hearts. She was so precious. I read a psalm that made me think of her today. I could see the body of this man who was speaking, David; wasting away…he is literally dying here. He speaks of his sin being the reason for his condition but I don’t believe that part is like Danni. Psalm 38 is what I’m referring to.

I am amazed at how it so accurately describes the death process I saw firsthand in Danni. I wonder did she feel the way David did in verses 21-22? O Lord, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior.

What a privilege to be there to bring her into the world and be there when she left, at her side stroking her arm and praying for her. I remember she opened her eyes a bit to look at me and then the next time I looked they were closed and her body took two more breathes but her spirit had already gone.

I heard in me, “Mom, I’m gonna go now,” I said in my spirit, “Go ahead, I’ll see ya later, go and be at peace.” That was the end. I shall never forget that holy moment. I took the oxygen off of her body and shut off the machine. I wept… all those months of struggle came out in a single moment. It was so surreal to see her laying there lifeless.

I kissed her on the cheek several times as I had before in life, she was out of pain the fight was over and she had come into a marvelous light. I am so happy for her. I am so blessed by God’s answer to our prayers. I know this sounds so strange coming from a mother who has lost her child but you never can know these feelings until you’ve been there.

I had 19 years to know her, what a blessing. Don’t take your loved ones for granted, invest time and love into them so you can have a life of no regrets. Don’t hold grudges against your loved ones, life is too short. Love them, love them, love them, no matter what!

Danni said in her journal, "I was so young and dumb. But I swore that I knew best...yeah right...I'm sorry to my mom the most...Ugh, I was an idiot. I can't believe she never gave up. I hurt her over and over again. But she still loved me. So cool and now she's taking such good care of me...I broke her heart cuz I thought I knew...I'm sorry."

Parents hang in there it is so worth it! They will see it some day. I know it gets tough especially with teens but actions speak volumes to them.

God’s word to us today is from Psalm 37:3-7a…Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…

Days Turn into a Week

2008-12-06T13:08:00.005-05:00

December 6, 2008

It's hard to believe it has been more than a week since Danni is gone. Time goes so quickly. Matt, the children and I are doing well. Slowly we've taken care of the flowers and straightened Danni's room.

It's nice to be able to go and be where she was whenever I'm missing her. It's the little things that I see that make me think of her. I opened the freezer yesterday and there were her favorite vegan sandwiches and her little frozen things of spaghetti sauce that I had stored away for her whenever she had a craving for a small bowl of spaghetti.

Or her shirt laying on the folding counter in the laundry room that makes me miss her. Our lives have gone back to what was before and it seems that Danni is just away at college.

I was painting my bedroom yesterday, my friends know that painting is my way of clearing my head and thinking through things, I bet our walls have 100 coats of paint on them. I had been wanting to paint our bedroom since we switched with Danni.

I was listening to the radio and three songs came on right in a row that meant so much to me during Danni's illness one of them says this:

I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where I am and every tear I 've cried you hold in your hand, you never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.

I cried and lifted my hands to God and thanked him for being there and then I painted some more. There is another line in that same song that says:

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away...

Once again I praised him and cried. Danni was mine to look after until the day God required her to go home, that's how all of our children are to be to us. We are only entrusted with them for a short time but they are HIS.

The word says this in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

Because of Danni's faith in Jesus, we will see her again riding with him at the trumpet blast of his return if we are still alive to see it happen and if I have "fallen asleep" in death at that time I will be with them! There is no reason for me to grieve as one who has no hope, I have hope! Christ Jesus is my Hope!

It may sound simple and really it is! But it is the truth about the situation. Does it mean I won't have times of missing her? Obviously not, but the knowledge that I will see her again is a huge comfort that allows me to walk on in confidence.

Danni has graduated from the school of this life to heaven and all the angels rejoice! No more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears, no more putting antifreeze in her car in subzero weather, the list goes on and on :) Why would I wish her back? For what? To face death again at some point? To suffer some more?

No! There is no need to fall apart, there is HOPE!! HE LIVES and so does she and so do I! Hope lives in me! This same Hope lives in you if you have received Jesus as your Savior.

I know that Danni was very concerned about her friends. As I was reading through her journal she mentioned several times that partying and drinking was all that her friends thought about. She had resigned herself to be done with these things, she even said she was sick of these things, she said that cancer changes everything. She said that she was concerned about her friends, "don't they know?" was her response.

Life is short, come to Jesus and let him fill your life as Danni did.

Danni Celebration Video

2008-12-02T18:05:00.005-05:00

Here is a video that was shown at Danni's Funeral. It is 13 minutes long and contains a bunch of snapshots from her life.

The First Day of Many

2008-12-02T15:03:00.003-05:00

December 2, 2008

Today I checked on all of Danni's financial things that needed to be taken care of. The phone has rang and rang today with people asking how we are doing and businesses calling me back.

I can't bring myself to go through her things yet, maybe next week. Matty, Jessi and Atlee stayed home one more day before beginning the ordinary everydays again. Danni's dad came to divide the blanket gifts and flowers and plants. Many thanks to everyone for their loving generosity.

Mom is staying until next week some time but Dad will go home tomorrow. I feel like my mind is in neutral just coasting along not really motivated to do anything. The past ten months seem like a dream everything is so surreal.

I feel positive about the future but I'm not in so much of a hurry as I once was. Everything used to be rush, rush, rush but I intend to go at a slower pace and enjoy every bit of my children's lives and my own.

Going through something like this makes you very aware of life and every detail of it. I wonder what God has in store for me to do now, in a way it's exciting to think about what the future holds.

I will never forget the past, I miss her, I watched the video of her coloring several times today. What a beautiful gift I unknowingly gave to myself. God is so good he thinks of everything. That's it for now, one day down and who knows how many more to go.

Rejoice, Rejoice, and Again I Say Rejoice!

2008-11-30T08:08:00.003-05:00

December 1, 2008

We had such a wonderful time yesterday, my brother-in-law worked all day on the video presentation while my friends and I went shopping for items that would personalize the casket piece.

It sounds strange but I think she would have been blessed as we remembered her every like and dislike carefully putting together the funeral to end all funerals! I wish.

We laughed and cried, my friends and family and I, we rejoiced and sang while Dad played the piano. My friend did Danni's "Red Chair" remembrance poster and we ate and enjoyed each other's company.

We took pictures of all the ladies who had given themselves fully to Danni's cause lovingly caring for her all these last months and weeks. What a blast to celebrate all that Danni was to each one of us!

I know it sounds strange but it really helped to ease the pain. I am very grateful for the blessed day's that the Lord has so generously poured out upon us as we prepare for the day of her body's departure.

Her spirit is secure! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Service Times

2008-11-28T16:05:00.004-05:00

Both Services will be at:

Stone's Hill Community Church
151 West Stones Hill Rd.
Ligonier, IN 46767

Viewing Times: Sunday Nov. 30, 2pm-7pm
Service Time: Monday Dec. 1, 10 am

More info: www.yeagerfuneralhome.com

Memorials may be sent to:

Cancer Services of N.E. Indiana

6316 Mutual Dr.

Ft Wayne, IN 46825

All are welcome

Picture Request

2008-11-28T08:21:00.002-05:00

November 28, 2008

If anyone has any pictures of Danni they would like to share at the funeral email them to her uncle please at:

landisln@yahoo.com As soon as possible please

Her Story Continues

2008-11-27T16:32:00.002-05:00

November 27, 2008

The house is quiet. We've eaten our share of turkey and have had our naps. What do we do now? We move on putting one foot in front of the other, I feel the need to walk again. Walk through these days of grief and sorrow, love and laughter remembering Danni and allowing God to begin the healing in us now.

Tomorrow we will have a meeting with the funeral home and I will post the specifics for anyone who wishes to attend. All are welcome.

Thank you for all the beautiful thoughts and prayers. God hasn't let us down he has a bigger plan. I will continue to journal this journey to help bring healing to myself and others. This is simply a new chapter, one of grief and healing.

I am thankful today that Danni is in no pain, that she runs with the Father through green fields and cool streams. I am thankful for Jessi, Atlee, Mallorie and Wes. I'm thankful for wonderful friends who are willing to walk through fire with me!

I'm thankful for the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in me and picks me up to carry me during this time of sorrow, he is the one who guides me on. Jesus will sustain me.

He will carry me like a lamb over his shoulders, I am so thankful for that.

We are like iron that has been heated and shaped then plunged into water to bring strenghth to the shape only to be heated again and shaped again and plunged again until we are the perfect tool in the craftsman's hand. For this I am thankful.

Use me Lord. Use us Lord, further your kingdom...Amen.

3:30 AM Thanksgiving Day

2008-11-27T04:08:00.004-05:00

Danni went with Jesus to a place better than here.

She went to sleep, peaceful sleep.

Current Condition

2008-11-26T21:27:00.002-05:00

November 26, 2008

Danni is currently sleeping constantly. She was waking to my voice this morning but since about 11 am I cannot rouse her.

Her countenance is peaceful and she sleeps quietly which is a dramatic change from the last 2 or 3 days. She was constantly talking day and night and was very restless, so much so that medication didn't even seem to control it. Now, she is quiet.

With so many who love her here, her cheeks have been stroked and kissed a thousand times. I don't think a second goes by without someone touching her and speaking softly to her.

I'm so glad she's at home and we have been working so hard to take care of her. This is our reward to shower God's love over her as she sleeps waiting patiently for the Lord.

It is truly a beautiful and holy time.

Praises Along the Way- Call Me Crazy...I Believe!

2008-11-26T15:37:00.005-05:00

November 26, 2008

Acts 2:17-28

In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and your daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy.

I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.

And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

Men of Israel, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. This man was handed over to you by God’s set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross.

BUT GOD raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was IMPOSSIBLE for death to keep its hold on him. David said about him:

I saw the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will live in hope, because you will not abandon me to the grave, nor will you let your Holy One see decay. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.

Acts 2:36 “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.”

Acts 2: 38-40 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for ALL who are a FAR OFF—for all whom the Lord our God will call.”

With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.”

I say the same to you; the promise is there for all of us. It is the same for us as it was for them!

If you would like to accept Jesus as your Savior today pray out loud the following and have something truly thankful to be for this Thanksgiving Day.

Jesus, I believe you are my Savior and I receive all that you have for me. I know I am a sinner and that I confess to you. Come into my life and make me whole, be the Lord of my life. Amen

PS. Notice the word BUT GOD above and realize what that means in your situation, in Danni's situation. When you look at all your facing remember....BUT GOD! HE CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING!

Waiting for an Answer to Prayer

2008-11-25T12:24:00.002-05:00

November 25, 2008

Danni is deteriorating quickly it seems, I won't go into detail but I think we will say that she needs a miracle and we are down to the wire.

Believe me when I say that I very much understand that healing comes in many forms and I am not holding God to a particular form, that is his business with Danni and none of mine.

After seeing the kind of suffering I have seen the last 10 months, I am asking God for healing mercy of ANY kind!

I do, however, hold unwavering and undoubting to the FACT that God CAN heal her on this earth IF HE so chooses!

SO...Please pray that we get her new pain meds working properly. Pain meds are not something we want a lapse in and they are trying some new things for her all mixed into 1 thing that we can give every 4 hours or so.

This has become necessary because Danni is having a lot of trouble swallowing pills. She is having quite a bit of pain and anxiety when she is conscience.

Well, I'm falling asleep while writing this so if it isn't making much sense that's why. Anyways, GOD IS GOOD TO US ALL THE TIME! GOD IS IN CONTROL! And thanks for your continued prayers!

Correction

2008-11-24T14:35:00.002-05:00

November 24, 2008

We confirmed that Danni CAN see, sorry about the confusion.

New Condition Developments

2008-11-24T10:27:00.002-05:00

November 24, 2008

I'm sorry to report that there have been some changes in Danni's physical condition. She's become very vocal in the last couple of days groaning or talking constantly, sometimes very loud at times. We think that the tumors have invaded her language area.

She is also having trouble at times swallowing and this morning I noticed that she wasn't tracking with her eyes so I'm not sure if she can still see or not. It's hard for her to tell hot from cold and up from down.

Her condition seems to be rapidly deteriorating at some moments and then at others she's wide awake talking and joking and eating and swallowing just fine. I feel like we're on a roller coaster never knowing when we'll be jerked one way or the other.

She hasn't been pulling her oxygen out like she had been before so that's a blessing that we don't have to watch her like a hawk. Danni has also begun to refuse her meds at times. She understands what is going on so I've given her the independance she needs to decide for herself if she wants them.

It seems that it's very difficult most times to get her to wake up. I've been researching these things online and I feel we're getting near to the end. She's so fragile, it is the Lord who is sustaining her, but then again he has all along.

Please continue to agree with us for the Lord's will in this situation. I have no doubt in my mind that my God is able to heal but as his thoughts are higher than my thoughts and his ways higher than mine all I can do is agree with God that his will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

I am submitted to God and Danni and I are at the foot of the cross sitting and waiting patiently for God to deliver her.

Praises Along the Way--The Deposit

2008-11-22T12:37:00.006-05:00

November 22, 2008

It had been a good day, or so we thought, Danni had everyone in stitches! She was her ornery self joking with everyone. The problem came at 1 in the morning when she couldn’t stop talking… “How do I relax, mom?” she said. She couldn’t stop talking, her chest was hurting, “heart hurt, heart hurt,” was what she said to me.

“My side hurts and my shoulder, 7, 8, 9,” she went on to say indicating the level of pain from 1 to 10, 10 being the most painful. I called the nurse, apparently her anxiety had been building all day and night into the next morning, I knew that something wasn’t right.

We determined that Danni had a tolerance to the anxiety meds she was taking and needed something different, they weren't working anymore.

I sat by her bed and held her hand to keep her from picking at herself from mounting anxiety. She fought with every breath to keep herself calm. Prayer came forth from her spirit like I have never heard from her.

“Father, give me the strength and courage I need to be more like you, touch and heal me, take the pain from my side.. help me to be more like you, give me courage and strength so that I can lead people to you…help so and so thank you for giving them the understanding to help us understand the scriptures…give them courage and strength to be more like you and do your will….”

On and on she went using her labored breath to pray for herself to be more like her heavenly father and praying with honest concern for others. I sat there amazed at what I was hearing, the Spirit inside of her was taking control and taking the awful circumstances she was in to cause her to cry out to him to be more like him, to bless others, to protect others and to make good come from bad.

At three we knew the nurse would be on her way with the new anxiety meds and I couldn’t take it anymore. I was exhausted and Matt said, “Go to bed, I’ll sit with her.” As he sat with her she was whispering things to him. He couldn’t hear what she was saying so he got down so he could hear clearly. “Do you think Mal and Wes will be okay?” she said “You tell them I’m praying for them every day…”

Mal and Wes are Danni’s step-sister and brother, Matt’s children. Matt broke. Once again her concern with the breath she had was for someone else. This doesn’t come from her as an individual but from the Holy Spirit that lives within her.

Romans 8:26 says, “In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express…”

He comes along side; he walks with us and even prays for us! What a vivid expression of this we witnessed as the Holy Spirit rose in Danni and prayed through her prayers of faith and deliverance. It was a beautiful, awe inspiring thing to behold.

The word is true! We can put our faith in it! We can believe what it says! What a comfort in such a dark time to see that God was still in control. As bad as the circumstances were, the Spirit was revealing himself to us through Danni.

The nurse came around 7am and administered the new meds to her and I’m told she went right to sleep. She was exhausted and so were we but what a privilege to actually see the deposit of the Holy Spirit within her guaranteeing what is to come! (2 Corinthians 1:22, 2 Cor. 5:5 and Ephesians 1:14) What rest for a mother’s heart.

Praises Along the Way--Goodness from Badness :)

2008-11-19T18:51:00.006-05:00

November 19, 2008

Round about 3 am this morning Danni was having quite a bit of pain in her right shoulder and side and her head was hurting as well. These are new developments. She was also having trouble breathing.

So the nurse came out and assessed her. Her oxygen level was good but the pain meds weren't covering the extra pain she was having so we increased her pain meds and steroid dosage.

The breathing pattern change, loss of use of her arm and headache are probably tumor related.

The Lord has been blessing her abundantly lately. He moved on the heart of one of her friend's mom to make her a colorful blanket with pictures of all her friends and family it blessed us all greatly.

Matt G came and sang her his song and we were blessed. Then today the UPS truck brought her a freshly baked shoefly pie from her uncle in PA. What yummy surprise! Also, a lady came to the door with free flowers. She had been chosen to receive them from a local business and she had several friends come to see her. It has been a very blessed day and couple of weeks.

God's love continues to be poured out in truck loads! God is so charming! He is thoughtful and kind, moving on the hearts of his people to bless us and remind us of his goodness in our darkest of hours.

What a wonderful God we serve, what a friend who loves us to the end and beyond! His love never ends it endures forever! We wait patiently upon him and treasure every day. Thank you God for your goodness! I praise you!

Praises Along the Way--The Race and the Cycle.

2008-11-15T22:39:00.002-05:00

November 15, 2008

Sitting in her quiet room I can hear the machines humming in the background. It’s so hard to know what to do. She seems to be having more pain today. She’s confused easily and she is having a hard time catching her breath. Why wouldn’t she? She’s running a marathon called life. She’s straining hard with every breath. Her heart pounds harder with every step toward the goal.

She whispers encouragement to herself. “Okay, what do we do next?” “Stay calm, your job is to stay calm” “Okay, thank you” “Calm, calm, calm.”

She’s hot then the next minute she’s cold but her skin feels the same. Is she talking with God? We wonder amongst ourselves. Maybe this is going on, maybe that is going on…we run the scenarios over and over in our minds trying to comprehend where we are at and what is going on.

It’s consuming. Is she near the finish line? Will God intervene? How does all this fit into his plan? “I’m here beside you beloved,” he whispers to me. That still small voice says, “Trust me.” I think this is the hardest test I’ve ever faced. I am learning the true meaning of Psalms 46:10 painted in pretty teal paint on her wall. “Let be and be still and know that I am God,” it says to me. That is so hard, I think to myself.

In our fast pace society it is a real challenge to just sit and be still literally waiting on the Lord to move. I do trivial things; I watch TV or read my bible. I surf the net trying to find any kind of distraction but even the world wide web isn’t enough to take my mind off of act 1, take 1 of the drama unfolding before me.

This race is grueling. We all run together, we are all connected. When she suffers, we suffer. When she has joy, we have joy. The word just can’t be denied, it is true!

I don’t want to do anything but sit in her room and watch her. Will I think back on these days in days to come? What will be happening in a month from now, I wonder. Staying in the day, in the hour, in the minute, in the second is a huge discipline for me.

Everything we’re taught in the beginning of life we have to learn again at the end of life. The cycle of life runs full circle. We begin with someone taking care of us 24 hours a day and we come to the end of the cycle the same way. This life is a strange thing.

I used to take everything for granted, not so anymore. Going through these life altering situations forever changes your perspective on life. Little annoying things don’t seem to matter.

Things that were important fade to black and you wonder what you were thinking when those things held such a prominent place in your every day.

This is therapy for me. Writing helps to free my mind from the millions of thoughts swirling about in my head. Wondering is a heavy taskmaster… if only I could disconnect from it for the rest of this story and just live in the moment enjoying every second as opposed to trying to analyze everything.

My desire to control things runs deep and I am sure that this is an area that is lovingly being disciplined out of me by my doting Father. He watches over me constantly helping me at every turn.

The changes I see in Danni concern me and then I have to remind myself that this is God’s show and he is in charge. Not easily accepted by a control freak! But nevertheless, thy will and not mine. Man, isn’t there any other way this cup can pass? Thy will and not mine. The inner struggle wears me out.

Round and round I go through the cycle mentioned above…no wonder I’m exhausted. I’m a little slow; finally I turn to Jesus and say to him, “help me deal with this, help me run this race with Danni with the same perseverance and courage that she has so graciously displayed.” Jesus, I need your peace, peace that passes all understanding, peace that doesn’t fade, that can’t be taken away from me.

I snuggle my face into the folds of his robe and take a tassel from his garment in my hand running it through my fingers, waiting for his presence to comfort me.

He is faithful, he gathers me in his arms and I receive peace. Thank God for Jesus, he’s all I have and that is more than enough for me.

I need thee, oh, I need thee, every hour I need thee, oh bless me now my Savior, I come to thee. The old hymn runs through my mind like a river refreshing my soul. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus. You never leave or forsake us. You’re just a cry away. My hope is secure in you.

Praises Along the Way--Knowing Him

2008-11-14T09:34:00.005-05:00

November 14, 2008

I was discussing with a friend the other day all of Danni’s medical situations when it dawned on me how fragile is her condition. As I thought about this I realized that every day she lives is a miracle! We are seeing miracle after miracle day after day as the Lord gives us fresh mercy. Just one more day with Danni.

Matt led our family to Mark 8 last Sunday. As we read verse by verse stopping at each one that spoke something to us I realized that my focus had been on the miracle instead of the Miracle Maker. I had to repent and get my eyes focused in Jesus’ direction again.

Mark 8 begins with Jesus feeding the four thousand…I love what the Lord says in verses 2-3 he was so concerned about the basic needs of the people. He has compassion when he looks at them and doesn’t want them to collapse.

I thought about the long journey we have been on with Jesus and how he brought this word with compassion to us to help us understand so that we didn’t collapse. Jesus used miracles as a teaching tool to reveal more of who he was to the people.

When Jesus feeds you there is a lot to go around. He fed me, so I will break this bread and fish with you. May it be multiplied to feed multitudes in Jesus Name Amen!

Verse 11 of Mark 8 reads as follows…when he landed on the shore... “the Pharisees came out and began to dispute with Him, seeking from Him a sign from heaven, testing him.”

They wanted a miraculous sign and in verse 12 Jesus tells them they won’t receive a sign. Seeing their hearts he recognized that they just wanted him to prove himself to them and he didn’t see the need, he didn’t answer to them.

He gets back into the boat (vs. 13) and begins to teach his disciples about the attitude they had just encountered in the Pharisees only his disciples have bread on the brain! I laughed out loud at their response and then realized many times it’s my response! Many times I don’t understand what Jesus is saying.

In verses 17-21, Jesus is saying, don’t you get it? It’s about attitudes not bread! If we need more bread I can handle that didn’t I prove that to you? It’s about the attitude that says prove who you are Jesus but the Pharisees wouldn’t have believed even if they would have had a sign. The need for a miraculous sign is a distraction; they didn’t want to know who Jesus was they just wanted proof. God isn’t one to do things because little humans demand.

I used to think that this chain of events was not related but the flow here is beautiful. Next, a blind man is brought to Jesus for him to heal (notice what Jesus says to the disciples in verses 17-18). Jesus first addresses the physical with spitting on the man’s eyes and then asks him if he can see. The man says he sees people and they look like trees.

The disciples and Pharisees were blind as we are many times.

Here is one of the few times when Jesus heals someone that it happens progressively and not immediately. Jesus then lays his hands on him again (vs. 25) and tells him to look up! (NKJ Version) How profound! Look to Jesus! And then the man saw everyone clearly and is told not to tell anyone.

It doesn’t say this but is it possible that the man saw Jesus for who he was (Messiah) as healing was brought to his eyes the second time? Did Jesus heal his physical eyes and then the eyes of his spirit? This is good prayer food!

In verses 27-30 Jesus asked his disciples “Who do men say that I am?” and Peter is divinely given the right answer to the question, “You are the Christ”. Then Jesus tells the disciples not to tell anyone just like he did the blind man. I found this interesting. Perhaps the blind man did receive the revelation of Jesus the Christ.

Jesus does these awesome miracles because he has compassion on the people. He also wants to teach his disciples something about himself. He wants to reveal himself to them so that they would find out more about him. It isn’t so much about the miracle as it is that we get to know him in a deeper way and see him for who he really is…our savior.

I had to think of my motives for asking for a miracle. Motives are important when we are in prayer about anything. (James 4:3) Weren’t my motives to make everything like it was before? End the suffering?

But Jesus looks at me and says, “Who do you say I am?” (Mark 8 27-30) He wants deeper relationship. He wants to reveal himself in a more profound way. He wants us all to know him in a way we never have known. I had to repent of my shallow, selfish thinking.

Whether or not a miracle happens is none of my business. He just wants me to know him more so I asked God to put in me a deep desire to know him more and I will leave all miracles to him.

The scripture goes on in verse 34-38. Here I had to switch to the Message version to understand what Jesus was conveying. It reads like this, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering, embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?...”

In seeking the miracle, I wanted to run from the suffering but this trial must work its deeper work in me that in some way I turn to Jesus and say help me understand, help me to know you and how you work in a deeper way. Let these circumstances bring me into a greater intimacy with you.

This should be my focus, Jesus, and not what he may or may not do for me.

Grateful for Another Day

2008-11-12T13:51:00.003-05:00

November 12, 2008

Amazingly Danni's oxygen stats are getting better. Every day they climb a few numbers. She's comfortable and still eating and drinking.

She's been awake and alert off and on. Her lungs sound good but she still needs more healing.

We've done all we can do to stand and so we will continue to stand in faith leaving the miracles to God I will focus on knowing him in a deeper way.

Thank you Jesus for another day with Danni. Thank you for your love and mercy concerning our family. Thank you for answering our prayers. Thank you that you are in control and help us all to come to a deeper knowledge of you through this journey. Amen

P.S. Matt we are looking forward to hearing the song you wrote!

Waiting on the Lord

2008-11-10T11:21:00.003-05:00

November 10, 2008

Danni is sleeping a lot these days, she still has somewhat of an appetite but its only at certain times of the day that she wakes up enough to eat. Those times are precious to us as we get some good interaction with her.

We sit with her constantly all day and all night watching and waiting for signs of life or death. She's very quiet because it takes a lot of precious breath and effort to speak. She's still eating and drinking so swallowing isn't a problem at this point.

She has a new infection on her belly that they can do nothing about except cover the wound and give her some antibiotics. She isn't running a fever and we are keeping her as comfortable as possible. Most times she refuses her pain meds but we continue to give her something for anxiety.

This is the point we are at and things are about the same or maybe change slightly every day. Waiting on the Lord.

I'm going to try and get some shut eye, sorry I don't have anything better to report. Thanks for all the continued prayers.
You are all very special people.

Day by Day

2008-11-08T13:24:00.003-05:00

November 8, 2008

Days and nights run together. People come and people go from the house bringing love and prayers and food. Some stay the night and others stay for just minutes. Constantly love is poured out over us.

Rest comes in cat naps here and there. Sometimes when I do lay down I can't sleep. I'm tired of decaying flesh. I long for him to come and deliver her, deliver us. Its difficult to wait patiently on the Lord when I see the things I'm seeing.

Watching someone you love so much walk this lonely trail is exhausting, it's painful and I feel so helpless. Looking at pictures of how she used to be and seeing her earthen vessel today I realize how vain is all of the things we do to keep this flesh from wearing out.

I was having a hard time last night and the Lord said Job 23, I expected that he was going to reprimand me for the way I was speaking to him and instead the scripture was exactly how I was feeling. He knows what I'm going through, he watched his son die too.

He put his arm around me in our secret place and pulled me inside of him. He surrounded me with his Spirit, hiding me under his wing. How anyone can say there is no God or that he doesn't care about us, I don't know. He is so loving and kind, so long-suffering with us. He sees our needs and afflictions and gathers us to himself to hide us in him.

I know he's in control and I'm thankful for that but it's very difficult to know how I fit. What am I supposed to do in this whole thing? Painted on Danni's wall is the scripture..."Let be and be still and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10). Often the Lord reminds me to look at the wall, over and over again he says, "Let be and be still and know that I am God" but what does that mean? How does one do that in the face of such grim circumstances.

"My grace is sufficient for thee, my power is made perfect in weakness," is another scripture on a picture hanging on her wall. How true. Do I completely understand what that means? I would be lying if I said yes. In the last few days, I've gone back to the solid truth...Jesus Christ and him crucified.

I am amazed at myself, up and down, round and round I go. I believe he is able but what is here for her when eternity is so close? She says she wants to live and then she says,"I just don't want to be in pain anymore." What a struggle must be going on inside her.

I have released her! I am not so selfish as to ask her to stay, believing for her healing is not my idea! So heal her God! Hasn't she suffered enough!?

I haven't lost heart or my faith but this whole thing has made me question why it is that I believe what I do about healing. It is such an illusive thing and has little to do with us. Little to do with our "feelings" or the way we pray, all that is flesh.

What it has to do with is God and his will and plan and we are just subject to it. Yes he cares and is a compassionate God but he's is not so impressed with our flesh and it is our eternal soul that matters most to him and rightly so! This life is obviously as the word says a "vapor, mist and flower of the field" it can be taken in an instant by the will of the one who created it and yet we live our lives as if we are in control. What a joke. We are so deceived!

He gives us opportunity after opportunity to come to him and enter into rest and peace and we snub our noses at him as if we have the ability to live our lives apart from him.

People if there is anything that I could say to convince you to accept him as your saviour I would but I fear that those of you who don't believe will continue in your paths until one day God will get your attention.

Out of his deep love for you he will continue to pursue you. I encourage you today to stop, turn around and say to him come into my life, you have my attention. Obviously your life won't be all roses if you come to him as you can plainly see by looking at mine but he will give you the strength in your weakness to be able to endure even the most dire of circumstances with grace and dignity.

Danni's security is set, her crowns are waiting, she let Jesus be Lord of her life and she will be with him at some point in time, eternally at peace. I want that for all of you; that is my prayer for you.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 He stands, inches from your face waiting for you to answer his invitation. Will you come into his arms of safety and allow him to hide you in himself even as he did for me today? He treats us all the same, what he does for me he will do for you. It's time for you to answer the call.

Diagnosis ...Days

2008-11-06T15:46:00.003-05:00

November 6, 2008

We've been told by the doc that Danni may be down to days. It felt so surreal as he told me what we could expect to transpire. I remember thinking to myself ,yea, but God is in control. Often in scripture deliverance didn't come until the very last minute.

I think of Isaac and Abraham in Genesis chapter 22 because God gave me these scriptures last night after I had talked with the doc. Isaac wasn't delivered from the hand of his father Abraham until seconds before his impending death, but God provided a ram for the sacrifice.

Also, in our family devotions time last night Isaiah 60:1-3 was Jessi's scripture that she opened to and then we also read Isaiah 58:8-9. Atlee's scripture that he picked out was Isaiah 28.These were quite an encouragement. Matt's scripture was Luke 13: 22-30 about the narrow door that we must all go through to enter the kingdom.

All of these spoke of God's plans for the future, his sovereignty, power ,judgements and miraculous provision. So we set our face like flint (Isaiah 50:7)and stay the course no matter what the circumstances and we wait for God's sovereign hand of power, judgement and miraculous provision.

Some things are Better...but My Faith is the Same

2008-11-04T14:56:00.004-05:00

November 4, 2008

We are continuing to watch Danni around the clock with parents, step-parents, grandparents and tragedy coordinators all taking turns. While Danni is sleeping she itches her nose or rubs her face and knocks her oxygen off quite frequently especially during the night. We put it on as quickly as we can when we see it.

Some things have cleared up including her lungs which are sounding good. We've also been seeing some change in her blood sugar readings that are encouraging. The numbers have been below 200 and one day in particular I didn't give her insulin all day as we were concerned she might bottom out!

Every day I stand and wait to see the deliverance of my God believeing in faith that he will heal her. Morning comes with hopes for the day and evening sets with new challenges to say "be moved, in the Name of Jesus, be cast into the sea!" Waiting is a hard thing but I know its developing patience and perserverance and character and strengh so I praise God even in these most difficult of times.

I am enjoying having family and friends around us all the time. It is such a precious thing to work together for one purpose.

I don't really have anymore to tell you. With round the clock care I'm up all time catching cat naps when I can but mom is always on call :}

Once again I will clearly state that the Lord is going to heal her unto life not healing unto death! She will live to testify of the miraculous healing power of God for the benefit of salvation to others! I agree with those of you who say she will be healed! By Him and for Him and through Him...All about Him! Souls for the kingdom...salvation to all who recieve Him! AMEN!

Change Comes Quickly...Never Give Up!

2008-11-01T17:48:00.004-04:00

November 1, 2008

Danni was having some anxious moments last night and several times in the night without knowing it she took her oxygen off. I slept in a chair with one of the tragedy coordinators nearby on her little red couch. I had to sleep in the chair near her to put the oxygen back into her nose.

Today has also been an anxious day for her when she is awake. After speaking with the hospice nurse today, we've decided to keep her medicated on a regular basis to keep her calm rather than just when she thinks she needs it. Danni was in agreement when I told her the nurse said that she really should be taking the meds on a scheduled basis.

Her breathing is the major issue.

Nevertheless, we will not give up hope that the Lord will heal her! NEVER GIVE UP! That's what Danni said she had learned and so we will NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! AMEN!

Its a Good Day.

2008-10-31T14:46:00.002-04:00

October 31, 2008

Danni is having a good day. She seems to be feeling a bit better. I thank God for giving us the meds we need to keep her comfortable. Her lungs are sounding better and she's still eating and resting well.

For the first time in days her sugar has been below 300 so that's a good sign that she's healing too. I continue to stand firm in my belief that she'll be raised out of her sick bed and made well. We've had some awesome times of prayer recently as we laid our hands on her.

I'm confident that God has more for her to do and I stand believing no matter what things "look" like!(Hebrews 11:1) Faith is for right now! It is "now faith" not later faith. God is in her and he is far bigger (1John 4:4) than anything the enemy can throw at us, she is equipped with all she needs (Eph 6, 2Peter 1:3). God is for her who can be against her?(Romans 8:31) Not the "name"of cancer or pneumonia or any other thing that would seek to raise its ugly head.(Phil 2:10) They were all defeated on the cross with the stripes laid on Christ's back.(Isaiah 53:5)

Woo Hoo thank you Jesus! You are supreme! You are awesome in your power! I BELIEVE!